Status Updates From Project Renewment: The Firs...

Not only does laughter make us feel good, it also boosts the immune system, reduces stress and blood pressure, elevates mood, connects us to others and promotes instant relaxation ... Scientists have referred to laughter as an 'internal jogging.' Laughter boosts endorphins while suppressing the stress hormone epinephrine. "Adults laugh about fifteen times a day and children about four hundred" (!!!)

Giving ourselves permission to play may take some work. Our grandchildren are one of the best resources for us to learn to play again ... 'When I am having fun, my soul is rejuvenated.' We reveal our authentic selves when engaged in play. Plato: 'You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in an hour of conversation.' Einstein: Play is 'the highest form of research.'

"In retirement planning, relationships and communication are rarely addressed. Yet we know that couples often do not share the same expectations from one another in retirement ... If we are not used to discussing personal relationships, to start such dialogues at sixty or sixty-five can be difficult."

"The 'white spaces' in our lives are a gift to reflect on what we want to do. Our plan should be flexible enough to take advantage of spontaneous moments for new adventures and endeavors. Question: what is the one thing you have always wanted to do, see or create? How might you accomplish this?

"We lived most of our lives planning ... We are living in a beautiful time of life when we can change, be ready and open ... Planning in later life is really about making sure we living our lives in a way that enhances rather than inhibits who we are ... The whole question of planning in this stage of life is related to my perception of time, ... to depth and fullness of living, not to extended time."

Coping with illness: A "challenge to learn how to rest ... What used to scare me does no longer ... nothing to lose. I take risks now that I ordinarily would not take." Stay connected to [friends] who are ill. Phone, write, visit, bring warmth, compassion and news of the outside world. "These actions are important to women spending most of their time at home or in a facility. Feelings of isolation are pervasive."

Effective career women have had to do many things simultaneously to rise through the ranks and reach their level of excellence. But now we have the choice ... We can give ourselves permission to cherish the moment ... *Now is the time to discern, discriminate and relish our time and the ways we fill it*. What a change...one thing at a time." Question: what are your favorite moments to savor?

"I used to think that my grandfather's saying, 'Thank you for coming and thank you for going' was an uncaring statement to his grandchildren... His words ring true for me now. Being a grandmother is the most enthralling and most exhausting job I have ever had. I am thrilled I can enjoy my grandchildren, spoil them and then send them home."

If an interesting volunteer position isn't available, create one. We may create a position "that will help the organization fulfill its mission" & speak to our strengths. *What are you looking for in a volunteer experience?*

Preparing to volunteer: identify what inspires you; don't be afraid to start at the bottom; know when to make a change; look for good training; keep very flexible.

Dr. Albert Schweitzer: 'There exists a sleeping sickness of the soul ... As soon as you notice the slightest sign of indifference, the moment you become aware of the loss of a certain seriousness, of longing, of enthusiasm and zest, take it as a warning. You should realize your soul suffers if you live superficially.'

"For the first time of my life I have time to support friends [and family] who are having health problems. I feel passionate about spending time with them. I consider the available time a blessing." If we find we are not deeply engaged in our activities, or have little sense of joy in our lives, it's time to ask: "Is something seriously wrong?"'

Over 'our lifetime passion has been a source of intense energy; motivation to master tasks, achieve goals, share ourselves with others. It's the impetus for creativity, having a sense of wholeness, integrity, peace. It is evident in our play, search for meaning, contributions to a legacy. Each of us has the capacity to experience these passion-driven purposes at different life stages, in various combinations.'

'Regardless of marital status, women share a common fear of being alone in old age ... 'Who will be there for me? ... Will I have enough money to see me into old age?" "It's more difficult to find the right companion later in life so I prefer to spend time alone or with my women friends."

'Questions to ask yourself: ... Who can you turn to when you are feeling "blue" or depressed? ... What makes you feel better when you are depressed? Who are the people that make up your support system?'

'Sometimes there are ways to prevent depression in retirement. It helps if we know ourselves and our priorities, and we have a support network of friends, family and colleagues. Ideally, it is healthy to begin defining our roles and identity -- *before we retire* (emphasis mine) ... Simply recognizing and knowing we are depressed is the first step in recovery.'

'There is no single cause of depression ... A stressful life change can be a contributing factor, and retirement is one of those traumatic changes, particularly if it means adjusting to a role that, at least initially, feels less than satisfying.'

'The National Institute of Mental Health considers depression among those sixty-five and older to be a major public health problem. It affects six to seven million older adults, most of them women, and just 10 percent get treated [in part due to a reluctance to be seen as one who needs help, or a feeling of shame or despair].'

Barbara Ehrenreich: 'the secret of the truly successful ... is that they learned very early in life how *not* to be busy.' This suggests that life is to be savored and not rushed.

'There's part of me that finds the prospect of not having something to do all day--every day a delicious concept. And then there's part of me that is panicky about the idea that I'm not going to have something to do every day, that I am going to get bored, lose my sense of self-worth and not have anything to talk about to people.'

'At one time, retirement was considered the most stable period of life; today it can be one of the most dynamic life stages. And change is an integral part of it. Since retirement is an opportunity that can last as long as thirty years, just being busy for that amount of time may not be sufficient.'

"An alternative and more achievable goal to staying young [than cosmetic surgery] is to look and be the best we can be. We create our own beauty with healthy nutrition, exercise, managing stress, continuing curiosity, constantly learning and doing what we love to do. Being an authentic person is beautiful."

If you were to create a business card that reflects who you are or what you believe in, what would it say? What would be your elevator speech if someone asks you what you do?

"If business cards are important to us in retirement, we can create new and clever ones... A card is not only a card, but more. It has become a standard way to introduce ourselves ... Our challenge is to create an identity - with or without a card - that continues to have personal value and meaning."

"Our business card is gone. Without it, we feel naked."

"Being productive is part of our spiritual and psychological core ...Just because we no longer have a real job, the inner switch does not go off ... Now, for the first time in decades, measurement of meaningful output cannot be gauged [by] a work product ... We [need] a new definition of productivity to [reflect] new priorities in this post-work phase... Keeping healthy [is] a productive mission and activity."

"Retirement has many meanings that do little to serve as a guide" ... It "has been referred to as a 'roleless role,' a time in life with no particular duties or responsibilities ... The lack of precision and clarity about retirement allows us to create a role that fits our evolving identity and ongoing values. You cannot argue about living the proper or expected retirement life because it doesn't exist."