Status Updates From Chasing Jane

He presses his mouth against mine, and my lips soften and then open for him. The kiss deepens as he pushes forward, taking my head in both of his hands. Pleasure and excitement and absolute trust rush through my body with my blood. Because this is Nate. And he’s everything he’s ever been to me. And so much more that I’ve never dreamed of.

Nate is my best friend, my family, my security. He has never been this. I smother the thought as soon as it materializes. We need each other tonight. We’ve loved each other all our lives. And nothing—not pain or lies or betrayal or the motion of our bodies—will never be able to tear us apart.

I still can’t believe he’s Rochester. I still can’t believe he had it in him all this time to talk about life and the world and feelings as deeply and genuinely as he did in our messages. I still can’t believe he said he wanted to be my…hero.

I’ve lost my mother, and it was almost too much to take. There’s no way I can lose Nate too by messing things up between us. I’m suddenly terrified—terrified by all of the horrible possibilities—and I scramble out of the bed.

He held me as I cried night after night last year, as my mother slowly slipped out of my grasp. I know it must have been hard for him, since he’s not an emotional person and he’s never been comfortable with intense feelings like that. But he was always there when I needed him—he’s never not been there for me.

He chuckles dryly and shakes his head at me. Overwhelmed with another surge of affection, I lean over to kiss him on the left side of his jaw, my spot. “Thank you for all this, Nate.” “You’re welcome,” he mutters.

I’m definitely not a beauty queen, and I’ve never been particularly popular, but I’ve always done well in school. At twenty-four, I’ve completed a Master’s and started a PhD program in English—and gotten A’s most of the way. I’ve never really gotten into trouble, and my friends and neighbors all think I’m the most pulled-together person they’ve ever met.