Status Updates From The Boy and the Peddler of ...

the. fuck?

who the fuck is this new character, help. is that a tree, talking to her?

see, I can't even follow what is what, the author keeps name-dropping without explanation. What the hell is the book of Dro?

I keep forgetting I'm reading, it's only 100 pages but it's taking me 2 days 🥲🥲

I can tell the author really wanted to write the "AoE" instead of the "area-effect" lol. was he playing gw2 or wow while dictating this book or smth?

feels like S1 of Rings of Power + Guild Wars 2/any MMORPG remix with A LOT of words and a lot of names but you still don't know who is/are the MC(s)

ok, world building/map/races/history dump, out of nowhere

'perhaps not the right word' twice in two paragraphs, please, use the right word then.

word vomit, that's all.

I'm really struggling. I understand the words, I don't know what the author wants to tell us with it.

so many words to say absolutely nothing interesting

time to hate read this thing (the prompt of my bookclub was a book under 2 star rating, i don't want to read theeeem)

Y chromosome, radioactive spell!!!??? I’m reading fantasy or Science fiction now!

I really don’t know what to say!? Like my god I feel like he wants to put all the details and I mean all the details in a 200 pages book! So far I only met like 5 characters and he is only mentioning like the politics of this world and mentioning (Caliphian)?!? Really!? I need to mentally visualized the place not to head on get to know about the political system.

I have no idea what I’m reading 😶 I mean as I said before the idea of the book with magic and all is actually nice but my god the writing 🤦🏻‍♀️

Even though I just started the book and the idea is actually nice. The problem is that the writer explains everything in every word in the dictionary! And to read the synopsis of the book as well, you feel like you are already getting to know the plot or discovered it already.

A line from the afterword that I swear I am not making up:

I pride myself on treating people with respect.

So that happened.

Time for a review.

From the afterword, in which our author reminisces about the good old days hanging with his Bay Street Boy buddies:

When we roamed the cobblestone streets, fathers knew to lock their daughters inside their homes, for when they didn't we locked ourselves inside their daughters.

I read this to a friend of mine, and I swear I saw a little of his soul die right before my eyes.

That's it? The book is over?

That's not an ending. The book just stops.

You know how The Lord of the Rings is really one big book, but the publishers insisted on breaking it into three parts because they didn't think anyone would buy a gigantic tome? The Fellowship of the Ring is more of a complete book, ending where it does almost arbitrarily, than this one is.

On to the afterword...

"Who are you?"

"I am Dani," she replied.

Aithein grew nervous. "Are you a Hlaetho?"

"I do not see the truth lest it reveals itself to me," Dani replied.

WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME JUST HAPPENED?

I actually just finished reading this book. I still have no idea what's going on. I have a few more highlights to post, and then my review! (Which I've also finished, huzzah!)

"How did you know my name?"

Ellia calmly asserted her ability with a triumphant posture. "You look just like her."

1. I have no idea what the whole calmly asserting thing means.

2. When Christopher Walken plays the angel of death in "The Prophecy" and a character asks, "How did you know my name was Thomas?" and Walken answers, "You look like a Thomas," it works. This? This makes no sense.

A young man named Aithein has just locked eyes with a girl he's never seen before.

A vacuum in Aithein's vision released the galaxies and solar systems from her eyes in a Fibonacci spiral that enveloped the air around him.

Like you do.

Seriously -- I recently baked my famous three-chocolate brownies, and I'll share them with anyone who can explain this sentence to me.

Her eyes emitted a silver-purple glow. Her hair was silky white, and although it was soaking wet, it danced with the wind. Her features were elfin. She wore midnight-blue armor that was protected by a white breastplate with a symbol of an eye shedding a red tear in the center. Aithein didn't know what the red tear meant...

It means she killed a guy in prison, dude. Watch your step with this chick.

Aithein squinted hard as he tried to focus through the rain, but it was wrought with fog.

This guy says "wrought" in the weirdest places. Seriously. This is at least the third time in a very short book that he's misused it. It's like he saw it once and thought, "Oh, yes -- you will be mine."