Status Updates From Tentacles and Triathlons (L...

I’m already smiling and kicking my feet. This is so cute.

Do people really consistently move between using first names and last names for the same people in the same fucking conversation? Do they? DO THEY?

so your mother Sphynx cat reminds you of a shaved nut sack, but two paragraphs later you say he's pretty cute. Interesting. I don't usually associate shaved nut sacks with cuteness but you do you, I guess.

Who calls their love interest by their last name during sex? All the side eye, Cyrus.

Yeah, this is not good. The writing is not good. The characterizations are not good. I haven't DNF'd an ARC in a long time, but this is heading that way.

“Not only am I rubbing you off, I’m rubbing off on you.” 😂😂😂😂 A+ for funniness and horniness.

lol

"I'd waited centuries for him, and I'd give him as long as he needed to work through his feelings." 🥺🥺

Take all of the pain Cyrus and Reece feel, double it, and give it to everyone who did them wrong.