Status Updates From Murder Bites: A Novel

HAHA i wanna quote this so bad

how heavy is a wig projectile that it makes not only an audible sound but a loud sound when it hits its target

theres a gabby petito reference here that feels apt but also a bit too soon?

holy SHIT?

im picturing this animated in a bobs burgers style

the unbidden thoughts are pronouncing "underfed" in my head as a past tense form of "underf" instead of "under-fed"

i need to get a move on with this to keep my reading streak up but so far its reading like it was written by someone who used to work for buzzfeed (derogatory)

i would love if jane lynch narrated this