Status Updates From Green & Deadly Things

“...The hammer caught him in the shield, splintering it, and drove through, tossing the knight into the air and sending him sailing a good ten feet away, although he turned into a crow before landing, and flew away.

So he was probably fine.”

Wait what 🐦‍⬛

‘“We found the body of a lumberjack, Captain,” a knight answered. “It was still alive inside the tree trunk.”

“Was,” someone else agreed.’

🤢

“A gushing stream of crimson poured from both sides of the felled tree’s trunk. It wasn’t sap. It looked like . . .

Was that blood?”

Brother what 🌳🩸

‘“There was that giant grimmock out in East Castinion, remember? That thing was ripping limbs off with its bare hands.” He shook his head, genuinely perplexed. “That’s the thing. Dismembered would be normal. Disgusting, but normal. It’s like tearing apart a chicken. The wings and the legs—the arms and the legs here—everything comes apart at the joints.”’

Brother ewww

This character's name is Mathaiik but his nickname is MATH. Good lord 😭

“Ice the size of cherries, of plums, hit him on the arms, on the side of his head, before he reached shelter. The wood roof overhead shuddered, the ice a barrage, like cannon fire . . .

Catimus Abhigan turned white when the first boom echoed, when he realized what it meant.

He’d been wrong. Again, he’d been wrong: the trees had summoned hail to clear the bombard field.”

Magic trees‽‽

“The Queen of Oaks was a woman and yet still a tree. She had no hair but branches that sprouted from her head like antlers, and no clothing save for the suggestion of different thickness of bark and leaves and vegetal matter. Her skin, too, seemed less skin than smooth bark, and if she had legs at all, he couldn’t see them. There was just the trunk and roots, joined smoothly to her hips....”

Hell yeah 🌳

“A grimmock had terrorized Catimus Abhigan’s neighborhood once, when he was a child. He never saw it himself, but he heard the stories, each worse than the last. How the twisted mockery with two heads and four sets of jaws and scales must have been a dog before it succumbed to a curse....”

Eww what 🫣

One of the author's previous books didn't work out for me so hopefully this one is better? 🤞🏽

Eek! This is great so far. It’s kind of like… T Kingfisher’s prose and witticisms crossed with the underlying world conflict in Deathless by Catherynne Valente, one of my favorite books.

literally what is happening, strongly considering DNFing

ONE BED

Currently watching the Fallout show and the order reminds me so much of the Brotherhood of Steel, and the characters remind me of Maximus and Lucy - so that's who I'm picturing throughout this whole thing

"In silence, wisdom is knowing the difference between the library and the tomb."

"That man is a library stack with all its books dumped out."

What a crazy burn, I love it

I've some serious thoughts about the writing!!