Status Updates From The Hope, Hype, and Reality...

Did y'all just compare a sperm to an egg like those are equivalent things?
Maybe you should read your own book, 'cause they sure AIN'T.

"only 400 eggs in their lifetime" my ass. I'd like to see you produce literally 1 egg, sir.

Author: time to recommend some socialism.
Me: I heard that.
Author: No you didn't. I didn't literally SAY the word socialism.
Me: But that's what you meant.
Author: Shh....

Essay Subject: Jojoba oil

Author: Now is a good time to talk about the plight of the sperm whale, which I shall illustrate by referencing Moby-Dick.

Me: Uh... should we tell him Moby-Dick wasn't even a real whale?

Author: We'll just put the bacteria ON the fruit.
Me: You wot, mate?

It took him 114 pages to get around to it... but he finally mentioned that people get more upset by mammalian experimentation than that which is conducted on other things... fish in this case.

Fun fact: Man's Best Friend also apparently turns out to be Man's Least Cloneable Product. Which I already knew dog cloning didn't work the way it's marketed as for many a reason, but apparently cloning dogs is just... harder than other mammals.

I would now like to give the author a hearty slap for his sentence formatting crimes.

Plz do not feed me vaccination bananas, thanks.

This guy is awfully optimistic about how sticking silkworm and bee venom genetics into potatoes is going to go.

Also just casually tossing in that we're putting bits of grapes into barley but not stopping to talk about it, like there's literally nothing for anyone to be concerned about there.

GM update 2004: Good news! We put pesticide in all the corn!

GM update between 2004-2021: Good news! Insects are becoming immune to the pesticide corn and also it causes inflammation of pig stomachs!

GM update 2021: Good news! We put the pesticide corn in everything! And also we're spraying it again because the pesticide in the corn isn't working but is still there because reasons!

Author: *sneaky Eugenicist clapping*

Me: I HEARD THAT.

Author: Shh, you heard nothing. Look, 9-11 and terrorists!

Me: Whoa, conversation whiplash.

Author: Praise be to Evolution, our Lord and Savior.

Me: This feels really unnecessary.

Author: Oh no, interrupting a sentence to thank Evolution for this day is absolutely essential to the process.

Me: I don't believe you.

Scientists are just three children in a labcoat.
Corporations are just three lawsuits in a trenchcoat.

Oh hello, Eugenicist, I didn't realize you were here.

Author: Lol, genetics aren't perfect, therefore God is a myth.

Me: Lol, genetics aren't perfect because we broke the universe with our dumb, stupid free will. The Bible covers all the flaws described in this paragraph (yeah, thousands of years before we discovered genetics), citing them as results of mankind's shenanigans and generalized disobedient tomfoolery.