Status Updates From Snake-Eater

It was profoundly absurd that being the assistant manager at a deli would prepare you to fight a god. But it was profoundly absurd that there were gods in her garden and that a roadrunner would turn out to be a frightening little dinosaur of a bird and that your best friends would turn out to be an elderly chicken lady and a Catholic priest.

"No shame on you," said Grandma Billy. "Doubt anyone who wasn't a bird would've realized it. Huh! Wonder if that's how it went with Amelia.“
"Bringing her dead snakes?"
"And thinking that the only way to be friends is fucking.
Although that's a lot of men's problem, not just his."

Sweet was not really the term she wanted to apply to the figure in front of her. Actually, she could see the appeal.
Snake-Eater had a body that could have come off the cover of one of Grandma Billy's romance novels. He looked very, very male.
Very. Extremely.
I didn’t know birds even had those parts.

There was an internet connection at the library. She thought of going online and seeing... what? All the news of world events that she couldn't change, celebrities whose names she couldn't remember. Sorry, she told the world silently. I can barely manage to take care of myself right now.
Maybe later.

"He wasn't all bad," she said, feeling guilty.
"Hardly anybody is," said Grandma Billy.
"He didn't hit me or anything."
"That's a damn low bar to clear."

No way this is only 267 pages. I've been listening to this audiobook for ages

I love it so far <3