Status Updates From Fake Skating

LMAO Alec’s reaction to that sandwich.

AYYYY HE’S SHIRTLESS

No le tenía fe y ahora no puedo parar de leer

“I’m unbuttoned.” Oh fuck off.

“A hockey player with glasses and a big fat brain. A girl could faint from that shit.”

Real.

Why does she not know what she wants to study at Harvard??? You can’t just get in on “well-rounded extracurriculars” and a good GPA/SAT. I don’t even feel like the rest of her plight is inaccurate, it just feels like Painter was too lazy to give her a goal that wasn’t just Harvard but after Harvard or, at the very least, at Harvard.

This social media thing is not it…no teenager (let alone two socially fluent ones—one of whom is some cool-as-shit hockey star) is posting a picture of him and his girl on a date and writing a caption explaining and justifying the date with the hashtag “#perfectdate.”

Maybe FaceBook in 2009. But not Instagram in 2025.

Nitpicky, I know.

Oh my God, I actually hate Dani’s dad so much. Her mom seemed kind of hippy and young-seeming but I didn’t realize that she was only in her mid/late thirties with an eighteen-year-old.

Amazing so far but just admit your feelings already 😭😭😭😭😭😮😮😮😮😮😮💀💀💀💀💀💀