Status Updates From Slow Gods

'Grief seemed to me like a thing I should be able to acknowledge, and in acknowledging, be done with it. Strange, how it lingered.'

maw introduces himself like a child's horror story like all the time (i love it)

Overall, I definitely enjoyed this book and would recommend with the warning that it is a slow burn and dense in analysis not plot

TLDR

F around and find out what happens when a neurodivergent who’s uphill battle to follow the herd and understand social cues/norms gets interrupted by overstimulation blackouts

5*

At first, I was just disappointed but eventually I enjoyed this novel feeling at events that are nothing ground-breakingly new

This is certainly not to be read in one sitting, it's a dense book not so much in plot or events but in my personal feelings while reading what is happening and then my subsequent emotions being nerfed b/c I have to read it in his POV

And due to Maw's inability to truly feel human emotions (due to him not being human AND not being allowed to be curious) I felt so disjointed watching the Shine destroy, Adjumar, Cham-do, all the events on Nitashi, even Theodosius' appearance at the end... b/c Maw didn't mirror these thoughts that I had, so I really had to sit for a while and think about it

I think that the meeting with the Slow was underwhelming b/c it was always on the horizon, that curiosity of whyyyy, and then it goes on a soliloquy about love which was cheesy in the beginning and didn't land for me until it emphasized that gods must love at a larger scale, and thus they can seem cruel when bad things happen, but no one is special b/c all are special

and this is echoed when the Slow tells him that he must love but at the scale of a god because as more times passes everything will become trivial and will be blurred (how I felt in the last part of the book, just skimming thru time)

Gebre choosing to stay because leaving would make them less Adjumiri was heartbreaking and enlightening, to live like that is no life for them at all and leveraging their personal relationship with Maw would belittle anyone else’s love for anyone else, where in fact to the Adjumiri they are all equal, nobody is special because everybody is special

After his friend died there was Gebre who then died and we get a glimpse of a reconnection with Rencki so without that human connection I did see a marked slow down in an already slow plot and at one point it did lose steam as Maw wants to test the limits of his abilities but then he is unsuccessful in the tryphon, everything with the Shine was also at an arm’s length so I wasn’t enraptured but I guess neither was he

is this to avoid the god-like MC trope or is it because as a god he must let things happen idk; his alienation was a core theme being both autism-coded as well as becoming a god and the story itself is told through his lens of detachment cuz once he gets interested it’s bad news bears; are we detached from the plot and want to be involved just like him?

not for lack of answers but that the intrigue build up was always lingering but didn’t feel developed enough to leave a lasting impression; the darkness and curiosity aspect though was so cool, like the curiosity can only be sated through destruction in hopes to “understand” otherness

I did notice though that Maw seemed to not have much agency and was a mere bystander

The prose was not dense, though the material was, somehow evocative without the overuse of a thesaurus or run on metaphors

The darkness of space always lingering in the background sort of mirrors Maw’s self analysis he never rly feels quite comfortable enough wherever he is; I felt throughout that answers were always on the next page the next chapter and did feel a little let down when finishing

they also allow Maw to not be so far removed from humanity by keeping it character-driven and not plot but he keeps himself at a distance because others do so he’s def an other

I loved the lack of one’s gender being held under a microscope, physical appearance was only described to accentuate one’s aura, difference, enhancements or shine

is this his story being told or a historical recitation I wonder

Somehow, the author did the near impossible which is make me feel sympathy for a god, the choices they must make and the events they must allow; and Maw specifically is changed by the perception of those around him, a very human experience

It ended more hopeful than I thought but I guess since it isn’t specified the time jump at the end, all we know is it’s significant enough that the blast is done and the magnetic field was taken down, who knows what kind of character growth Maw had, hmm I wonder if I’m supposed to feel as detached as he is to all this (I mean he had his moment with Theodosius and we just timeskip so maybe that was the intention?)