Status Updates From Orphan's Quest (The Great F...

I am now a full chapter into this epic fantasy saga about a protagonist named...Chip.
My intelligence is insulted with each subsequent word I consume, yet I cannot pull myself away. I feel like I am doing the literary version of rubbernecking at a grisly car accident.

Oof. This is gonna be rough.

I'm just to the world map at the beginning. The map of the Land of Amrika. (was 'Murica taken?). This realm has such captivating and richly developed locales as "Great Plains," "Troll Kingdom," "Demon island," and my favorite: "Secret caves."

I am in for a treat. And by that, I mean the Scotch I'm going to need to get through this.