Status Updates From The Importance of Being Ear...

CHASUBLE
. . . [All sigh.] I have preached it at harvest celebrations, christenings, confirmations, on days of humiliation and festal days. The last time I delivered it was in the Cathedral, as a charity sermon on behalf of the Society for the Prevention of Discontent among the Upper Orders.

MISS PRISM.
No married man is ever attractive except to his wife.

CECILY.
I have never met any really wicked person before. I feel rather frightened. I am so afraid he will look just like every one else.

CECILY.
I suppose that is why he often looks a little bored when we three are together.
MISS PRISM.
Cecily! I am surprised at you. Mr. Worthing has many troubles in his life. Idle merriment and triviality would be out of place in his conversation. You must remember his constant anxiety about that unfortunate young man his brother.

ALGERNON.
What shall we do after dinner? Go to a theatre?
JACK.
Oh no! I loathe listening.
ALGERNON.
Well, let us go to the Club?
JACK.
Oh, no! I hate talking.
ALGERNON.
Well, we might trot round to the Empire at ten?
JACK.
Oh, no! I can’t bear looking at things. It is so silly.
ALGERNON.
Well, what shall we do?
JACK.
Nothing!

ALGERNON.
What shall we do after dinner? Go to a theatre?
JACK.
Oh no! I loathe listening.
ALGERNON.
Well, let us go to the Club?
JACK.
Oh, no! I hate talking.
ALGERNON.
Well, we might trot round to the Empire at ten?
JACK.
Oh, no! I can’t bear looking at things. It is so silly.
ALGERNON.
Well, what shall we do?
JACK.
Nothing!

ALGERNON
Of course the music is a great difficulty. You see, if one plays good music, people don’t listen, and if one plays bad music people don’t talk.