Status Updates From That Fine Line (Pride and P...

cont’d

It wasn’t the fact that he had brought a sack full of hot dogs and chips, even though roasting hot dogs over a fire was one of my favorite things to do. It wasn’t even the fact that this guy, who had been tricked into this date yesterday evening, had still found the time—in between chores—to not only ride all the way here to set up the fire pit and chairs but to actually plan a date.

^“This is the part where I feed you,” he said as he flung his sack on a camp chair, knelt by the woodpile, and began working on building a fire.

I could only stare at him. Not moving. It wasn’t the fact that he was starting a fire, although watching a man build a fire was one of the most attractive things in the world.

cont’d

When Cade’s body settled into the driver's seat, and the rumble of the engine filled the evening, I knew without a doubt which vehicle was the clear winner.^

cont’d

The smell of fresh-cut hay mixed with a warm summer breeze filled the cab, along with a faint hint of his delicious cologne. Bits of hay and grain littered the floor, probably from his boots. A pair of ear pods were strewn on his dashboard next to his phone, and a pack of mint gum. I couldn’t help but compare the truck to Parker’s immaculate sports car he ran through the car wash at least once a week.

^“Ice cream? Should I have eaten dinner before you picked me up?”

He opened the passenger door for me and scoffed as if I had offended his manhood. “I’ll feed you dinner, Red. We’ll just be too far out of town to get ice cream afterward, so we’re getting dessert first.”

I smiled to myself as I climbed inside his truck.

^My heart had just finished stomping on another and was closed for business for the next foreseeable future.^

Me: oh my 🫢😂😂

cont’d

He motioned toward Cade sitting inside the loader. “And I noticed every time I threw you and Williams together, you got it back. It was so fun to see, I couldn’t help myself.”^

^“You were always so fun and full of life growing up. You just had this brightness about you—this fun, loving light. Then you went to college and when you came home, you were so different, so serious all the time. Then, all of a sudden, you were marrying a kid who took himself just as seriously. What I’m trying to say is, that’s not a bad thing, it can be good, but… you lost your spark, Kels.”

^“I think I made a mistake. I can’t… I’m so sorry, but I can’t marry you.”^

Me: *happy dance* 💃🏼

^Why was it that the people you walk the most on egg-shells with are the ones you are the most nervous to disappoint?^

^I wanted to shed my entire identity from high school, so I lost the extra twenty pounds (made much easier when I was no longer surrounded by my mom’s rich, calorie-packed foods), bought expensive clothes, and formed myself into the person I always imagined I’d be.^

^“Red, when I saw the mountain lion ready to pounce on you, I…” He shook his head, as his words trailed off. “Just don’t go anywhere else by yourself. Or at least without a gun.”

“That could have happened to anybody.”

He nodded slowly. “I know. But you’re not just anybody. Not to me. And I’m discovering… that I kind of like having you around.”^

Me: 🥹🫠😭

🚨MAN SCENT ALERT🚨

^He was warm and smelled of campfire and pine trees, so masculine, and so like him.^

^Hotcakes. I hadn’t heard pancakes described like that since my grandparents were alive. They always served us hotcakes when we stayed overnight. My heart wanted to burst with sudden delight for some reason. The word brought to mind visions of home and family and warm memories filled with hugs from my grandparents, and maple syrup slathered on fresh, steaming hotcakes.^

^I discovered that the sweetest memories in my life were not in the classroom or a big city, they were not in a fancy car or an expensive theater, but sitting tired and dirty, out on the range, in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by the people I loved.^

^“It means you wouldn’t be puttin’ forth so much effort towards hating someone if, deep down, they didn’t mean somethin’ to you. All the teasing, all the pranks…” he fluttered his hand through the air as he trailed off. “Just makes an old codger like me think something’s… off.”^

Wise words from Stitch 😏

^“Why are you doing all this?”

“Because he put a mouse in the tractor which then proceeded to crawl UP MY LEG. That’s why. Your grandson hates me.”

Stitch muttered something under his breath as he stood up and plunked his cup into the sink.

“What?”

“I said there’s a fine line between love and hate.”^

Title spotted!

^There had been too many people discussing me—in front of me, around me, about me, that all at once, I became numb to it all. I was a turtle in my shell, blocking out the world.^

Me: 🙋🏼‍♀️ I feel that

^Before I could do anything, Mom pulled me into a hug. "Are you alright?"

I smiled at her, inhaling her natural scent of lavender and lemons. "Yeah. I'm good."^

^He pulled back and did a full-body scan, taking in every inch, before pulling at the waist of my jeans. "Your pants are looking bigger."^

Me: 🚩🚩🚩

^While at home, ranching seemed so normal. At school, I spent my life chasing a degree and dating a suit coat. Swept away by grand ideas and pretty words; I had forgotten how real I felt sitting on top of a horse, riding a fence line with dirt under my nails. It had been a long while since I had ever felt this alive.^

It’s not too late to break off the engagement, Kelsey! Save yourself!

^The fresh mountain air smelled of sage and lilacs with a touch of summertime—all of which made me giddy in anticipation.^

^Show me off? What exactly was Parker telling them about me? With dirt in my fingernails, limp hair in a ponytail, cut-off jeans, and a residual odor along my left arm that I wasn’t sure if I was imagining or not—I felt myself becoming the last person he could proudly show off to anyone.^

Nooooo 😤 a good boyfriend/husband would be proud of his girl—especially if she was working hard

^I got in his face (i.e., chest), really using my 5’6 frame for intimidation purposes.^

Me: 🫢😅😅

Okay, three months is such a short time for engagement 😧😧 and I don’t like how it’s pretty much Parker who’s planning the wedding, according to his tastes 😐

^Eugene was pretty, in a rustic sort of way; the way you might pick up a discarded penny from the sidewalk only to turn it over and see bright, shiny copper hidden on the other side.^

^The sky had softened into a cotton candy sunset out my window as Tessa and I left the baseball field and began to weave our way through green farmland before entering Main Street.^

Aww, I love the “cotton candy sunset” 🥹😍