Status Updates From That Fine Line (Pride and P...

^All my worries, doubts, fears, and insecurities vanished while he wrapped me up in his arms. With the right man, my worries turned to calmness, my doubts to faith, my fears to bravery, and my insecurities to confidence.^

^“I don’t know if I’m going to make an idiot out of myself, but I gotta do this.” His confidence had lifted once more as his arms snaked around my waist. “Kels, I know we haven’t technically been dating for a long time, but…” he shook his head, “Ah hell, I’ve been dating you my whole life. I just didn’t know it. Will you just marry me? And then you can come to Colorado as my wife.”^

😧🥹

^”You drive me crazy in all the best ways. One day I want to give you that white house on a ranch. I love you, Red.”

Those were all the right words. Not only the right words, but they were also from the right man and that made all the difference.^

^I felt a light kiss on my forehead and everything in my world fell into place. Because against all odds, and in the most unbelievable way, I had fallen in love with Cade Williams.^

^In the end, it seemed our relationship was more of a matter of pride to him than any strong feelings we had toward each other.^

Again: 🚩🚩🚩

^Parker ended his call and sat next to me on the swing. I made a little room for him. He took my hand in his. I made it feel like a limp noodle.^

cont’d

Where work time, parent time, and playtime existed separately.^

^Parker’s words floated over to where I sat and a vision of life with him unfolded before my very active imagination. There were suits and ties and business meetings, date nights interrupted by cell phones and bosses, two token children, nannies, and expensive vacations to fancy destinations. A mirage in the distance but up close, a life with very little substance. At least for me. A place of hustle and bustle.

^“Is it going to be awkward the rest of the date now?”

“What?”

“You just kissed me and we still have a long drive home.”

“I don’t know. How about you don’t be awkward and then I won’t be awkward.”

“Oh great. You should have just kissed me at the doorstep. Then we go our separate ways with no awkwardness.”

“We could try the doorstep thing too.”^

Me: 😂😂😂

cont’d

But mostly, I kissed him for me, because I was starting to wonder if Stitch really was right about that fine line between love and hate.^

Ah, now this is the true title

^There were so many things I wanted to say with this kiss. So many things that were difficult for me to say any other way. I kissed him for saving my life. I kissed him for making me laugh, for putting me in my place, and for teasing me. I kissed him for making me feel special. And for this date. This glorious and magical and most confusing date that I wished could go on forever.

^“You were always… mine… to tease… you had always been mine and… I don’t know, Red. I think they knew I was a bit… possessive of you. Well, at least Ramsey figured that out.”^

cont’d

The night was—in a word—cozy.^

^We sat quietly, enjoying the beautiful sky streaked with orange and pink. The roaring fire had calmed and was giving way to the softly glowing embers below. The evening had grown chilly so we moved our chairs closer to the fire. Crickets were chirping. The crackling sounds of a campfire filled the air. Our legs had brushed on contact, stretched out near the fire, but neither of us drew away.

cont’d

A date that by all definition should have been dedicated to making these few hours in my life dreadful and humiliating, not wonderful.

It was the fact that he had done all of those things for me.^

Me: 😭😭😭 why is that the sweetest thing ever?