Status Updates From Cloak of the Vampire

Damn that must have been painful for you

“…tits free of their chains.”

What am I doing with my life

“Ragnor, in a typical male fashion, used an all-in-one shampoo and conditioner.”

How dare you say that, everyone knows it’s not all men!

“I knew I could do it by catching him off guard, like kissing him or something absurdly dangerous like that.”

Yes, how very absurd 🧐🙄

“How did he know about my fighting skills? Did Logan tell him? Had he really said my eyes were pretty?”

Girl really?!🙄

Oh great the fmc is one of those, you know a woman who’s “never been into THOSE books, TV shows or movies”🙄

Never dnf’ed a book cause of side characters, this might be my first time. My dear I’ve never heard of such shitty friends, you literally saved one butch from her dv situation👀

Oof. Trying to finish.

I feel like its 2008 and I'm greedily reading any type of paranormal romance I can get my hands on, but I'm here for it.