Status Updates From Three Complete Novels: The ...

"Now who'd've dreamed Miss Abigail would ever become a pants-chaser, and furthermore that she'd make sure those pants had full pockets?"

"He'd planned on a little morning morsel of her, but could see that was definitely off. She straightened up just fine, but wasn't moving any too spryly. She shuffled out wiltedly while he felt like the first rose of summer-no doubt about it!"

"Well, I wasn't going to mention it, but as long as you did, what's a man supposed to do when a woman's got her hand in his pants?"

"They eyed one another like two bighorns deciding whether to butt or back off."

"The woman had starch in everything to her bloomers to her backbone, and it was amusing trying to make it crackle."

Mr. Melcher so far reminds me of the never ending parade of smarmy copier salesment that keep parading through the office door...