Status Updates From How Not to Talk Like an Ars...

My Bad 'Fair enough, 'my bad' is quick to say and in a speedy game of basketball who cares if it's ungrammatical? ... Although ... 'sorry' [is] just as quick to say and 'soz' [is] even better. Nevertheless, why would you go around saying 'my bad' in normal conversation? 'I've just deleted an entire year's worth of immigration statistics. My bad.' It sounds a bit, well, ignorant'. Too bloody right, Richard.

"Goddess" 'Nigella us the posh woman who grins weirdly a lot while cooking. All right, she's also the one with the massive arse, sorry, did I say arse? I meant knockers" Richard, you forgot that she's also the one who has endless midnight snacks, does 'food porn' faces to camera and has cemented my affirmation that being a domestic goddess is a load of bollocks and I'd rather just serve up a tin of beans.

'Frenemy' 'A cowardly way of saying 'two-faced cow'' I prefer 'two-faced cow'. Much more descriptive.

"Me Time" "It's also important to understand that ... Not all women are entitled to 'me time', just the ones who have children' 'Nobody wants ... to return to the days when [mothers] stuck the screaming baby in the pram at the bottom of the garden" Funnily enough, I was given just this advice in 2012!