Status Updates From Harry Potter and the Method...

“Professor Snaaaaaape!” wailed Pansy Parkinson in tears. “Tracey ate my sooouuul!” 🤣🤣🤣

Dear Father,

By the time you read this, I'll be dead. Here’s what I think will happen:

First, Greengrass will shoot Bones. Padma will shoot Parvati and Potter will shoot Granger. Longbottom will shoot a bunch of Dragons and get shot repeatedly by us. Padma/Parvati will shoot me, Zabini will shoot Harry, and Parvati will try to shoot Zabini but get shot by him instead. Then Zabini will shoot himself to tie the game.

“I can feel those cold shivers of fear like someone is pumping ice-cream into my shirt. But I know… that history is watching us. It was watching us when we changed into our uniforms. It was probably taking pictures. And history, my troops, is written by the victors. If we win this, we can write our own history. A history in which Hogwarts was founded by four renegade house elves.” 🤣

forking hilarious, Harry the dark lord who doesn’t want to be dark 😹