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Justin Halpern
“If you work hard and study hard. And you fuck up. That's okay. If you fuck up and you fuck up, then you're a fuckup”
Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

Justin Halpern
“I don't give a shit how it happened, the window is broken... Wait, why is there syrup everywhere? Okay, you know what? Now I give a shit how it happened, Let's hear it.”
Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

Justin Halpern
“Do people your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking.”
Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

Justin Halpern
“The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain't spitting it out.”
Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

Justin Halpern
“Don't touch that knife. YOU never need to be holding a knife... I don't give a shit, learn how to butter stuff with a spoon”
Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

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