Shawn Thompson

“And when Hugh would grow progressively Gandhi on me, I'd remind him that these were pests---disease carriers who feasted upon the dead and then came indoors to dance upon our silverware.”
― David Sedaris, When You Are Engulfed in Flames

“I'd tried to straighten him out, but there's only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwitz is a brand of beer.”
― David Sedaris

“Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game. ”
― David Sedaris, Holidays on Ice

“A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.”
― David Sedaris, When You Are Engulfed in Flames