Alana Holbert

“and just like that, you start feeling high without even taking any stimulants. not even a note of caution from the only thing close to you—your mind. how elegant yet dreadful must it be, i wonder? -bipolar diaries”
― Yogesh Chandra, The Flower That Went Mad: Bipolar Poetry

“now i have to live in-between: in-between joy and misery, in-between laughter and tears, in-between highs and lows, in-between life and death.”
― Yogesh Chandra, The Flower That Went Mad: Bipolar Poetry

“anxiety, nervousness, and abnormal dreams on a single night, it magically teams. weakness, drowsiness, and fatigue these things, even the doctors cannot critique. insomnia, tremor, and nausea all come with this excessive euphoria. also, decreased libido and weight gain are just part of its long-term reign. current findings suggest they are anti-suicidal pills but more effective it seems, are the daffodils. and to anyone who wants to withdraw would find themselves back in the devil's claw.”
― Yogesh Chandra, The Flower That Went Mad: Bipolar Poetry

“you slowly feel something flickering inside the brain, somewhere in the lower front. the chemical shift, like someone unauthorized has entered a power plant and turned on every switch on sight. it comes like thunder, wraps you inside your body, and screams inside your soul. it is heavier than anything you know of, yet see yourself easily fly. it’s like a thousand fireworks have all been lit at once. there is so much movement and it only gets faster, just like the forest fires of august moving uphill. you can feel the energy of a star each time you take a new breath.
so you hastily light up your world, and of those around you, as rewarding and punishing it may get, and impatiently wait for the fuel to run out like it always did. and when it finally does, you realize that you cannot even get out of bed to take a shower or answer a phone call.”
― Yogesh Chandra, The Flower That Went Mad: Bipolar Poetry