Paige

“And here, I believe, the wit is generally misunderstood. In reality, it lies in desiring another to kiss your a-- for having just before threatened to kick his; for I have observed very accurately, that no one ever desires you to kick that which belongs to himself, nor offers to kiss this part in another.”
― Henry Fielding, The History of Tom Jones, a Foundling

“Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly.”
― Benjamin Franklin, Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School

“She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita.”
― Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

“It's the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.”
― Oscar Wilde, Miscellaneous Aphorisms; The Soul of Man