John

“The only thing an old man can tell a young man is that it goes fast, real fast, and if you’re not careful it’s too late. Of course, the young man will never understand this truth.”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story

“Death is a funny thing. Not funny haha, like a Woody Allen movie, but funny strange, like a Woody Allen marriage.”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story

“Long after I left the segment, the term “fake news” became the ordinary way to describe what was done on SNL as well as The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. So who’s the idiot now?”
― Norm Macdonald, Based on a True Story

“Sometimes a writer's strike is good. Maybe if we had a writer's strike now, people would have to read Shakespeare instead of James Patterson.”
― Norm Macdonald