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Groucho Marx
“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”
Groucho Marx

J.R. Ward
“Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.”
J.R. Ward, Dark Lover

George Carlin
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
George Carlin

Jeaniene Frost
“I'm saying that I'm a moody, insecure, narrow-minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want you to promise me that you're okay with that, because it's who I am, and you're what I need.”
Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave

Mark Twain
“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
Mark Twain

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