Alysa

“The third time out he concluded that we were hunting cows.
That was a day that will live long in memory. Mutt threw himself into cow chasing with a frenzy that was almost fanatical. He became, in a matter of hours, a dedicated dog. It was a ghastly day, yet it had its compensations for Father. When we returned home that night, very tired, very dusty–and sans birds—he was able to report to Mother that her "hunting dog" had attempted to retrieve forty-three heifers, two bulls, seventy-two steers, and an aged ox belonging to a Dukhobor family.”
― Farley Mowat, The Dog Who Wouldn't Be

“It is most likely that I will die next to a pile of books I was meaning to read.”
― Lemony Snicket

“Hell, it is well known, has no fury like a woman who wants her tea and can't get it.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Very Good, Jeeves!

“There is a little phrase commonly used in police work that says, "in accordance with the evidence." You say that over six times a day as a grace before and after meals, and perhaps it will keep your feet on the ground and stop you ending up thinking you're Frederick the Great or a hedgehog or something.”
― Josephine Tey