Alysa

“There is a little phrase commonly used in police work that says, "in accordance with the evidence." You say that over six times a day as a grace before and after meals, and perhaps it will keep your feet on the ground and stop you ending up thinking you're Frederick the Great or a hedgehog or something.”
― Josephine Tey

“It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our emotions, our passions. After eggs and bacon it says, "Work!" After beefsteak and porter, it says, "Sleep!" After a cup of tea (two spoonfuls for each cup, and don't let it stand for more than three minutes), it says to the brain, "Now rise, and show your strength. Be eloquent, and deep, and tender; see, with a clear eye, into Nature, and into life: spread your white wings of quivering thought, and soar, a god-like spirit, over the whirling world beneath you, up through long lanes of flaming stars to the gates of eternity!”
― Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat

“He quite liked the English. They tended to say sorry a lot, which was quite understandable given their heritage and the crimes of their ancestors.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Long Earth

“Amazin’,” he said again. “He just looks as though he’s thinking, right?” “Er . . . yes.” “But he’s not actually thinking?” “Er . . . no.” “So . . . he just gives the impression of thinking but really it’s just a show?” “Er . . . yes.” “Just like everyone else, then, really,” said Ridcully.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather