Ted

“I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.”
― Mitch Hedberg

“Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, "So what."
"My mother didn't love me." So what.
"My husband won't ball me. So what.
"I'm a success but I'm still alone." So what.
I don't know how I made it through all the years before I learned how to do that trick. It took a long time for me to learn it, but once you do, you never forget.”
― Andy Warhol, The Philosophy of Andy Warhol

“Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!”
― Mitch Hedberg