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“There was an unconnected fax machine with the intelligence of a computer and a computer with the intelligence of a retarded ant.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

“What is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?”
― Paarthurnax

“For LOBELIA SACKVILLE-BAGGINS, as a PRESENT;' on a case of silver spoons… Bilbo believed that she had acquired a good many of his spoons, while he was away on his former journey. Lobelia knew that quite well. When she arrived later in the day, she took the point at once, but she also took the spoons.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

“Your fate will be whispered by mothers in dark places to frighten their young,’ said Hastur, and then felt that the language of Hell wasn’t up to the job. ‘You’re going to get taken to the bloody cleaners, pal,’ he added.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch