The Next Best Book Club discussion
Fun and Games
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Ask a Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer
Have you ever seen Gary use soap? Ever?Why do all the tastiest things have to have so many calories?
Because even the calories love yummy food and gravitate toward them! Grrr...Why do people insist on remaking movies that are already perfectly wonderful?
Well, movies can't remake themselves...however wonderful.
Why are the most ignorant always eager to give advice?
Why are the most ignorant always eager to give advice?
Because they are ignorant of what kind of advice they are giving and don't mention the fact that they are indifferent,too...What in the world am I doing here...?
Because we're not somewhere else.How do they really get our voices through the phones?
Well... I could give you a technical answer about waves and how your ear interprets them... and that makes sense for phones with cords... But cell phones? It's magic, I'm pretty sure.Why can't I seem to lose much weight, even though I'm exercising an hour a day?
Because your weight is very much attached to you and it would break its heart if you lost it.Why are we always hungry?
Because B stands for "BAD", and no one wants a BAD battery! (But really, there used to be B batteries, but no one uses them anymore... kinda like C batteries.... I googled it.)Why do most pens only come in black, blue, and red? Why not brown, green, and purple?
Because purple and black broke up and everyone took sides...and Black's team won. Very sad story, really.Why didn't purple's team win?
Because the Black Team cheated in tag-of-war portion of the ompetition....If there's a legal paper, is there also an illegal one?
Yes. Illegal paper is used for writing hold-up notes and poison pen letters.If you had a universal solvent, what would you keep it in?
my brother's head. it's that hard and thick.Why is it impossible to be perfect?
Because everybody else is.
Why does it not rain when you remember to carry your umbrella?
Why does it not rain when you remember to carry your umbrella?
Because the universe's sole reason for rain is to screw your day and soak you through when you have nothing to protect you with.why is there fog?
Because sometimes the earth likes to make things "interesting" by impeding your vision. (Kinda like how the universe screws you over...)Why do you sometimes NOT get what you pay for? (My $350 prescription sunglasses just snapped in half yesterday!)
I would have to say that it's another way of the universe to screw you. Or should I try to find a non-recycled answer to this? Then, why are you surprised that you don't get what you pay for, when usually you don't even get what you deserve?that was more a question than an answer.. duh.. anyway..
Why are women considered the fairer sex?
That IS strange. We should just be called the "fair" sex, because when are men ever fair about anything? ;)Why do people drink beer when it tastes like butt?
Because the people who drink beer were dogs in a former life, and you know dogs love the smell of butt!Why did they make letters in the alphabet that make more than one sound?
so that first graders can learn to hate school right away. It saves time.Why do people go into such detail on voice mail?!
So that they will have their money's worth for a 30 minute voice mail...Whose line is it anyway?
So you can make a completely educated decision whether to call them back or not.Why am I completely unmotivated at life lately?
Because they are scared that it might be the last time anyone ever hears there voice!How do you help someone who is suffering from a serious bout of self pity?
I had one too "Because thats one place where no one will interrupt them"
But to continue the thread.
301: Don't know both cancer and capricorn are fighting over it.
302: maybe because you forgot to stimulate/excite life first.
303: make it less serious by telling silly jokes.
Why do all the important phone calls come when you are in the shower?
But to continue the thread.
301: Don't know both cancer and capricorn are fighting over it.
302: maybe because you forgot to stimulate/excite life first.
303: make it less serious by telling silly jokes.
Why do all the important phone calls come when you are in the shower?
Because people like challenges, and they want to screw with you, so what's the sense in calling you when you are sitting next to the phone and can easily reach it? there's nothing complicated or fun in that.. however, if you run out of the shower, dripping wet butt naked and trying not to fall on your face while trying to raech the phone before they hang up, then that's entertaining!Why do we speak so many languages and not just a universal one?
We do speak the same language, it is however spelt differently.
Why is it never over 'until the fat lady sings'?
Why is it never over 'until the fat lady sings'?
Because people always anticipate her operatic voice....Why is it now or never...?
Because humans haven't invented time travel. Once that happens, never won't exist anymore. It will be "now or whenever?"Will you come to my house and do my dishes?
Sure, if you pay the costs of my travel, the hotel room and everything I eat on the way there and home and while staying there (I think maybe paying a housekeeper would be financially more advantageous.. :-D)why do pretty/beautiful girls have ugly boyfriends?
I think you're asking the wrong question... I think the right question is why to beautiful girls have ugly boyfriends, but gorgeous guys never have ugly girlfriends... ;) It's because women can see what's UNDERNEATH a guy's face. Either that, or the woman is in a constant state of inebriation. One of the two, for sure.Why do bad things have to happen in the mornings and ruin your entire day?
Because bad things need a head start to change your mood, good things don't have to work that hard at it.
Or its because bad things just can't wait to happen.
Why is the globe getting warmer?
Or its because bad things just can't wait to happen.
Why is the globe getting warmer?
It's just like anything you hold - the longer you hold it the warmer it gets. And God has been holding it a long time!Why can't teenagers be as easy to satisfy as little kids?
Teenagers are about three times the size of little kids.Howcome my neighbor has such a noisy motorbike?
Because s/he is an exhibitionist...and a maniac! LOL!!!Why does it take two to tango?
Because with 3 it becomes a t(ri)ang(le)!Why do we say Blind as a bat? Bats aren't blind.
Baseball bats are blind.If God is love; and love is blind; and Ray Charles is blind--what does this prove?
That Ray Charles's middle name is God.
Where can I find pin drop silence?
Where can I find pin drop silence?
In the grave.What would you say to someone who was afraid of revolving doors?
Just give a little whistle. Why did Mama say there'd be days like this?
She didn't. The Shirelles did. But seriously, because it was totally true. Turns out your mom is a pretty smart cookie!When will someone invent a food replicator like on Star Trek so I'll be able to have any food I want any time I want?
As soon as they invent the 'stay thin forever' magic pill that you can pop in and stay thin no matter what you eat whenever!
if a rose is a rose is a rose, what is a lilly?
if a rose is a rose is a rose, what is a lilly?
a padIf a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, what do you call roses without any smell?
Because they aren't purple.How many sea shells did Susie sell?
Susie sold seven hundred seventy seven sea shells at the seashore.Who can chuck more wood, chuck Norris or Chuck Barry?
Chuck Norris, obviously.Why does my cat act like a dog and my dog act like a cat?
They have species confusion.If a cat always lands on its feet, and toast always lands butter side down, what happens if you strap the toast butter side up to the cat and drop it?
Then you will a have a battered/buttered cat...what makes you tick?
Did I swallow a pocketwatch? Again?!?Why can't people be as graceful in their element as fish are in theirs?
Fish are always fishing for compliments, whereas we people are uber-secure in our klutziness. Long live klutzes!Why do fools fall in love?
Only the smart ones can rise in love..
Why do doughnuts turn into love handles?
Why do doughnuts turn into love handles?
The Next Best Book Club
Books mentioned in this topic
Man and Superman (other topics)Man and Superman (other topics)
Man and Superman (other topics)
The Territorial Imperative: A Personal Inquiry Into the Animal Origins of Property and Nations (other topics)
Authors mentioned in this topic
George Bernard Shaw (other topics)George Bernard Shaw (other topics)
George Bernard Shaw (other topics)
Why is Gary, Indiana the smelliest place in America?