The Next Best Book Club discussion
Fun and Games
>
Ask a Stupid Question, Get a Stupid Answer
um 0?? haha idk?What is the 11th letter in the alphabet?
Arabic, Hebrew, Cyrillic, which one?Why are elderly parents such a pain in the ass sometimes?
T. (the alphabeT)How old do you have to be to fry an egg?
Older than the egg you're frying.What time is it in Neverland?
No way to know, the sun never moves in Neverland.(Ha ha ha re "T")
What time is it when it is time to have dinner?
Time to get cooking.Why does Santa wear red?
To match his nose and cheeks. Why do people string christmas lights?
Because stringing Christmas candles would be a BAD idea.Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because if they flew north they'd have to circle nearly all the way around the globe to get to the winter destinations, and by the time they arrived they would need to make preparations for the return trip to their summer nests.Considering the whole "downward dog" pose, do you think a dog would make a good yoga teacher?
I think cupcakes would make better yoga teachers.Why is paper paper?
Because if it were water it would be a big soggy mess.Why don't evergreen trees change colors?
Because then they'd be called everchange.Why does Santa have eight reindeer?
One for each candle of the Chanukah menorah, and he's the Shammos, of course.What does Santa Claus do the other 364 days of the year?
Prepares for the next year.Why do people say confessions are good for the soul?
Because it's often not good for the body.
What is the difference between a man and an ape?
What is the difference between a man and an ape?
TailWho was a first person who discover to pull cows udder to drink a milk?
The milkman.
Why do dogs bark?
Why do dogs bark?
Cause if they can talk, they would never shut up.Why do mosquitoes bite?
Because they are actually this weird cross break of a vampire mixed with a hornet.Why does snow adhere to the roads and the grass when it would be so much more pleasant if it only stayed on the grass and left the roads safe for travel?
Because it's fun to watch the people swerve and swear. Why can't it snow when the sun shines?
Because snowflakes don't like sunblock.How tall is the average pygmy?
There's simply no such thing as an "average" pygmy but if there were, I'd imagine it would be about average height.What is the best day of the year?
Saturday, you have another chance to make up a week.Why are guys that cry called sensitive?
Because cry-men sounds silly.Why is it printers always run out of ink at the most inopportune moments?
Because the little elves working the inner printers think it's fun.Why do I get all the annoying people on the phone?
Because you are so patient with them!Why aren't telephone digits and the ten-key on keyboards arranged in the same order?
They aren't? Check again I think you are confusing your remote and keyboard
How high are high heels?
How high are high heels?
Higher than kittens.Why is the fabric under a Christmas tree called a tree skirt?
Because pants won't work.What do you get when you combine a lion with an eagle?
A legal.Why don't we say "be of good cheer" anymore?
Because what is the alternative, "Be of bad cheer?" It's a pity actually.Why are the things that go round and round on the tree named Garlands?
Because "roundabouts" get confused with the traffic directional circles. (If you're not sure to what I'm referring, see the images on this site http://www.designroundabouts.com/Design)If you could call them something else, what would you rename pajamas as?
I'd name them toothbrushes.Why is my cat lying exactly in the middle of the hallway looking like the Sphinx?? (Serious, she is)
She discovered she was a sphinx in her past life after consulting a psychic.Why is the day after Christmas named Boxing Day?
Cause people box the people that sold them the bad gifts.Why is Wednesday called hump day?
The camel was invented on that day.Why can't I whistle?
Because you eat too much cheese.Is my cat called Charlie?
No it is called Barley.Why is pitched black,called midnight?
Because pitched white is midday.Why are things flavored "grape" always purple?
Because green wine would be revolting.Why are there always more books than shelves?
Because books are gigantic.Why do royal people have their own wave?
It was easier than giving them royally identifying tooshies.When you put up a new shower curtain liner, it feels the need to attack you for the first 100 or so showers. Why is that?
Because it likes to get to know people.Why do the sea look blue but actually its clear but sometimes its murky?
To make the planet look nice from outer space.(Like the shower curtain one, happened recently here)
Why is the New Years Day parade always in Pasadena?
Cause they ran out of space everywhere else.Why is it bad manners to put your elbow on the dinner table?
You know how when you tell someone not to do something it immediately becomes the thing they want to do the most. Well, originally it was going to be bad manners to put your feet on the table. Knowing this would only entice people to want to put their feet on the table. They (the elusive "they") decided it would be better to change it to elbows. The way they see it, elbows were better than feet should someone opt to ignore the manner rule. :o)Why do dogs bark as garage doors open?
Because they know the dog food is stored in the garage.Why do cats get a wild hair and run around the house, eyes wild, tails kinked, for a couple of minutes and then sit down and look at you like, "What?"
It's their multiple personalities taking turns controlling the one body.Why does our eyesight get worse as we get older?
cause our eyes turn to wrinklesWhy do people say its not where you start but where you finish?
The Next Best Book Club
Books mentioned in this topic
Man and Superman (other topics)Man and Superman (other topics)
Man and Superman (other topics)
The Territorial Imperative: A Personal Inquiry Into the Animal Origins of Property and Nations (other topics)
Authors mentioned in this topic
George Bernard Shaw (other topics)George Bernard Shaw (other topics)
George Bernard Shaw (other topics)
How many spots do fawns have?