I'm out of here! (Why this group is great)

[Isaac]

Lav [I'm still not sure what I stand for] wrote: "I thought it was just because Holden spelled proceed wrong and it became a joke."

I thought it was Yue or somebody that read it as "Peed with caution" instead of "Proceed with caution".

[Sydney]

Emily [The Messenger Spirit] wrote: "Lav [I'm still not sure what I stand for] wrote: "I thought it was just because Holden spelled proceed wrong and it became a joke."

I thought it was Yue or somebody that read it as "Peed with caut..."

Yes I do believe that is what happened.

((Why am I talking like that?))

[Elliott]

Holden. I... *laughs*

[Jo]

THIS IS THE GROUP.

[Isaac]

Holden wrote: "Emily [The Messenger Spirit] wrote: "Lav [I'm still not sure what I stand for] wrote: "I thought it was just because Holden spelled proceed wrong and it became a joke."

I thought it was Yue or som..."

*falls off chair*

[Karen]

HI I'M NEW AND I NEED HELP. ok, i'm not really a goodsread writer coz i hav completely NO idea how to post it like you all did. i write, though, on my laptop in microsoft word only, but haven't publish any yet. can somebody pleaaaseee help i'm kinda new to goodreads too.

[Mandy]

Karen wrote: "HI I'M NEW AND I NEED HELP. ok, i'm not really a goodsread writer coz i hav completely NO idea how to post it like you all did. i write, though, on my laptop in microsoft word only, but haven't pub..."

Dictionaries help a great deal in this virtual world of goodreads.

[Taylor]

Does this group seem cliquish to anybody? I've been here a few weeks and I just get that vibe. You have the regular members who all kinda band together and make it difficult for anyone else to break in.

Maybe that's why this chick created the topic.

[Elliott]

Yeah, it's a little cliquish. But we welcome everyone and if you stick around long enough, you'll become a regular member. I mean, quite a few of us have been friends for years. I'm not even a member of the original group of friends that still hang around on this group. It takes a while to get used to everything, to be honest. You'll make friends. Give it time. This group is kind of like life in an internet forum. We all have people we like more than other people in real life. It's how things work. We try not to leave anyone out. If it seems like we're being mean, it's because a lot of us LOVE to argue and we don't realize that it offends other people and if we do, we tend to ignore that because we generally aren't. (When I say we, I might just be speaking for myself, but that's what I've picked up from how people on here talk about arguing. xD) And we definitely try to welcome people into the group. We're just a little crazy and come off a bit strong sometimes.

[Taylor]

Well, I actually was in the group about three years ago, and it was loads better...then I scrapped my account and created a new one a few months later.

[Elliott]

I've only been here since 2010, so I haven't been here three years yet, but although the group was more active when I first joined, I feel like most of the amazing people are still in the group and it's about as welcoming as it was when I first joined. (People thought I was ridiculously annoying when I was a young'un. I mean, they were justified in thinking that. Because I was ridiculously annoying. But you get the point.)

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

I guess it's "cliquish" in the sense that many of us have been in this group for like three years and have known each other for all that time––and that there's a certain group of members who are on here quite regularly. I don't think that's intentionally shutting people out, though. As Lav said, we welcome new people. I can see how someone might think it would be hard to become "a part of the group" or whatever, but I don't really see what we can do about that. I mean, what are we supposed to do––all pretend like we don't know each other? Not check this group every day?

Also, just curious ... what was so much "better" about the group three years ago?

[Elliott]

Brigid *Flying Kick-a-pow!* wrote: "I mean, what are we supposed to do––all pretend like we don't know each other? Not check this group every day?
"

IF I DIDN'T CHECK THE GROUP EVERYDAY I MIGHT DIE.

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Lav [I am glad to the brink of fear] wrote: "Brigid *Flying Kick-a-pow!* wrote: "I mean, what are we supposed to do––all pretend like we don't know each other? Not check this group every day?
"

IF I DIDN'T CHECK THE GROUP EVERYDAY I MIGHT DIE."

Exactly. O_O

[Megan]

I have thought that it felt a bit cliquish at times, but I've also felt that I was accepted. So I guess I can see both sides of this discussion...lately, though, I haven't felt left out much at all.

Also, I think that some of the people on here might seem like a clique because they're the ones that are most active in the group. Or at least that's what it's like on the topics I'm active on. :P

[Taylor]

Okay...I'm slightly more at ease. However, I do want to highlight something that was mentioned in a post above this one. I've talked to former members (who I won't mention by name) who have been awfully whiny about you guys also ganging up on other members. To avoid conflict, these friends slipped out the back door, but they didn't like how many of the cliquish members (the mods...no offense) seemed to collectively tear into some people.

I haven't been here long enough to tell. Are my friends unjustly complaining and merely want me to find other writing outlets, or....

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Well, I have been here since the very beginning of this group, and I still agree with Holden––I can't think of any instances in which the mods "tore into" people or intentionally chased anyone from the group––and sorry, but I do take offense to that because it's quite an accusation. Don't get me wrong, there are a handful of people who have left the group, but they did so of their own accord. And even in that case, I can't think of any situations in which that happened, besides the ones Holden mentioned––in which a joke went wrong and a few people left because of the ensuing chaos, and one recent instance in which a member was making very racist remarks/assumptions and the mods called him out on it, and he left by his own choice––and, as Holden said, quite publicly. The group doesn't "gang up" on people, but members will call someone out on their offensive comments. And frankly, if someone makes those type of comments, they shouldn't be whining when people criticize them for it.

[Taylor]

I just found the topic with that racist member. Yeah, he sounds like he's got some serious problems, but you all really were not nice to him. In all honesty, I see plenty of ganging up. But you seemed to justify it juuuuuuuuust fine. Actually, Holden, I'm glad you brought it up. Because now I see what problems my friends were talking about. I'd leave if you treated anyone like that again, whether for a noble cause or not.

[Acacia]

I think perhaps things were said on all sides which could have gone unsaid. I think perhaps the "ganging up", if that's what you want to call it, was unintentional, and it was just a majority opinion being expressed. Anyway, this group's goal is never to treat anyone badly, but in having serious, big-issue discussions, sometimes emotions can run high and arguments can become heated.

The discussion you are referring to is a past event which is still obviously sensitive to some members of the group, and there is no real reason to bring it up again. Additionally, if you have problems with the way the group is run, please speak with those people individually and with clear reasoning, rather than trying to incite a long-closed debate amongst the other members of the group.

[Taylor]

I'm not debating racism. I agree with most of the points made from the majority. But the thing is, I just rejoined this group after a long break, I don't know if I want to stick around if I'm at risk of being attacked.

[Taylor]

I'm expressing a concern. Is that a problem?

[Annemarie, hi]

Timothy wrote: "I'm expressing a concern. Is that a problem?"

Please express it privately.

[Mandy]

Hmmmm.

[Acacia]

Nobody's at risk of being attacked out of the blue, as you're making it sound. Going into a debate means knowing that you will be argued with - that's the nature of a debate. If you wish to stay out of the debates, there's like, six billion other topics in this group. If you do wish to debate but like the debate atmosphere in this group, there are like six billion other groups on this website for debate. The choice is yours! It's an all you can eat buffet and you can steer clear of any plate you want!

Anyway yeah, expressing concern is not a problem, but expression concern in the manner you seem to be going for kind of is. If you feel you have a problem with the moderators please speak with them (us) directly and we'll talk it out.

[Baxter, butts butts butts]

Timothy wrote: "I'm not debating racism. I agree with most of the points made from the majority. But the thing is, I just rejoined this group after a long break, I don't know if I want to stick around if I'm at ri..."

Both myself and Annie went out of ours ways to apologise afterwards and express how we had wished it had been handled differently. He decided to continue, knowing full well how people were likely to react and, being a debate, I am not going to stop people from expressing their opinions, even if it does come off as rude or mean or like they are ganging up on others. Because debates are usually very rude and very mean. Sort of a 'nature of the beast' thing.

[Annemarie, hi]

(Psst Holden. Check your friend requests. Unless you don't want to be my friend... That's cool too. I guess)

[Brigid ✩, No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.]

Timothy wrote: "I'm not debating racism. I agree with most of the points made from the majority. But the thing is, I just rejoined this group after a long break, I don't know if I want to stick around if I'm at ri..."

Well, I think Acacia, Baxter, and Holden have pretty much covered this ... but, I still don't see that as "attacking" a member. It was just that the majority of group members disagreed with him––and he was saying offensive things, and other members called him out on it. As far as I recall, no one called him names or otherwise personally attacked him. Disagreeing with someone and calling them out for being racist or otherwise offensive is not the same as making a personal attack. So, if you make a comment that is racist/sexist/homophobic/etc. ... well yes, you can expect that members of this group will call you out on that. That's what happens when you say something controversial. Sure, debates can get harsh, and often times in this group they are rather one-sided because many members have similar viewpoints––but just because the majority disagrees with one person is not "ganging up" on him/her. I still believe that we were fair to this particular member based on how offensive some of his comments were––and also, note that he decided to leave and not that we kicked him out––but I suppose that's a bit irrelevant. The point is, as Acacia said, no one is going to attack you for no reason. If you say something rude, you'll probably be criticized. If you think that's a good enough reason to leave, that's your choice. But, we do give everyone a chance and hope that everyone can see past their political/moral/religious/whatever differences.

[Isaac]

Timothy wrote: "Does this group seem cliquish to anybody? I've been here a few weeks and I just get that vibe. You have the regular members who all kinda band together and make it difficult for anyone else to brea..."

Yes, I will admit. There was one time I was inactive for probably nine months and felt so out of the group I was going to delete myself.

[Taylor]

And I was out for a few years. You can see my perspective.

[Sarah]

Emily [Bobby Darin is a dork] wrote: "Dear new people who might be looking at this,

This is actually a really great place. I have made many, many, many friends here. I have grown in my writing. I have shared laughs and tears with t..."

Thank you...