Synopses - You're Doing It Wrong... (while some do it right)

[Derek]

So, I've been hard on blurbs in the freebie lists I get from nobooko.com, so here's one that caught my attention:

Demon Cats (free epub here)
"While the debate of the second amendment continues in various forms, a third and terrifying player emerges from the shadows with their own agenda for the people of this country. Will this new player change the course of human history? Can our freedoms survive the influence and presence of Demon Cats?"

Imperfect grammar, but I've always suspected that there was a demon inside my Mojo.

[Ruby , Mistress of Chaos]

Derek wrote: "I've always suspected that there was a demon inside my Mojo.."

Demon in your mojo, you say? I think there's a song in that.

[Ruby , Mistress of Chaos]

This isn't from a book synopsis, but from an author profile. I'll let her remain anonymous, since I only came across it through a friend request!

"A worldly person, xxxx was born in beautiful Brazil and spent much of her childhood in several places.."
That must have been quite painful. And logistically difficult.

[Ruby , Mistress of Chaos]

I feel like this synopsis is a thinly veiled attempt to see how many times the word, "lesbian" can be used in a single paragraph.
Nightwood

Sheesh! We get it already.
And I'm wondering why you apparently have to be a lesbian to admire the exquisite craftsmanship.

[Whitney]

Ruby wrote: "I feel like this synopsis is a thinly veiled attempt to see how many times the word, "lesbian" can be used in a single paragraph.
Nightwood

Sheesh! We get it already.
And I'm wondering why you a..."

Yaarggghhh! Frankly, there's no reason to mention it all. This isn't a how-to manual. I want to go change other book blurbs to reflect this kind of thinking: "Romeo and Juliet is a tale of heterosexual love between two teenagers. The disapproval of their families for their heterosexual relationship leads to inevitable tragedy. Heterosexuals will appreciate the poetry of the story and the depth of passion of the two young lovers.

[Leo]

Ruby wrote: "I feel like this synopsis is a thinly veiled attempt to see how many times the word, "lesbian" can be used in a single paragraph.
Nightwood

Sheesh! We get it already.
And I'm wondering why you a..."

HAHAHAHA!!

What is (lesbian)love?
Lesby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me
No more

[Ruby , Mistress of Chaos]

Leo wrote: "Ruby wrote: "I feel like this synopsis is a thinly veiled attempt to see how many times the word, "lesbian" can be used in a single paragraph.
Nightwood

Sheesh! We get it already.
And I'm wonder..."

Bahaha! My ex-flatmate and I like to change "love" into "glove" in song lyrics. :)

[Ruby , Mistress of Chaos]

Whitney wrote: "Yaarggghhh! Frankly, there's no reason to mention it all. This isn't a how-to manual. I want to go change other book blurbs to reflect this kind of thinking: "Romeo and Juliet is a tale of heterosexual love between two teenagers. The disapproval of their families for their heterosexual relationship leads to inevitable tragedy. Heterosexuals will appreciate the poetry of the story and the depth of passion of the two young lovers. ..."

EXACTLY!

[Leo]

Whitney wrote: "Yaarggghhh! Frankly, there's no reason to mention it all.."

Very good point! I'd love it if that was the case. Every story I write in my spare time is about a man and a woman because I'd hate for people to think I wrote 'gay' stories, but what the hell do I know about heterosexuals?

Also in the creative writing class I just finished, the teacher said he told a student that he didn't know anything about gay couples in his novel because he didn't know how to describe the inside of their house. I said... we probably have more videogames but it's hardly worth mentioning.

This sounds like a discussion for a different time though :-)

[Ruby , Mistress of Chaos]

Leo wrote: "the teacher said he told a student that he didn't know anything about gay couples in his novel because he didn't know how to describe the inside of their house. ..."

So it was clearly meant to be neon pink & animal print, then?

[Leo]

Ruby wrote: "So it was clearly meant to be neon pink & animal print, then? "

I believe it started something like "We open on a really gay house in 80s San Francisco, the air ascreech with rasping feminine tones like the sound of a thousand macaws" :)

[Whitney]

Leo wrote: "I believe it started something like "We open on a really gay house in 80s San Francisco, the air ascreech with rasping feminine tones like the sound of a thousand macaws" :) ..."

[Derek]

Whitney, that response is priceless.

Exactly how many groups was he trying to upset? Gays, women, birdkeepers, at least. (and FTR I was in the pet shop picking up some fish this morning, and the Macaw did not, in any sense, sound feminine to me.)

[Leo]

Derek wrote: "Exactly how many groups was he trying to upset? Gays, women, birdkeepers, at least. (and FTR I was in the pet shop picking up some fish this morning, and the Macaw did not, in any sense, sound feminine to me.) ."

I was extremely offended as the friend of an out and proud macaw and since I recently attended the macaw pride parade. The depths to which some people will sink...

[Whitney]

Leo wrote: "I was extremely offended as the friend of an out and proud macaw and since I recently attended the macaw pride parade. The depths to which some people will sink... ..."

You know, I have nothing against macaws. I'm not sure why any bird would choose to be a macaw, but that's their business. But why do they feel the need to shove their macawness down our throats? Yeah, okay, you're a tropical bird with a loud call, I get it, so quit waving your feathers in my face, already!

[Derek]

Whitney wrote: "You know, I have nothing against macaws... so quit waving your feathers in my face... "

But, they're Rainbow feathers!

1.2 million people at the Pride parade in Toronto, this weekend, they say. I am quite happy to be hetero, but numbers like that make me proud to be Canadian (and I do march in Pride parades).

[Whitney]

Derek wrote: "1.2 million people at the Pride parade in Toronto, this weekend, they say. I am quite happy to be hetero, but numbers like that make me proud to be Canadian (and I do march in Pride parades)..."

Recently moved from Seattle to Olympia, but still consider myself an affiliate Seattleite. The highlights of the pride parade there included a group of boy scouts who marched after their scouting council forbid them to, a cop and his husband in his police car with 'just married' on the back, and most awesome city council rep. Sally Clark riding with the Dykes on Bikes. And the Mariners flew the rainbow flag at their game, which I think may show how far things have come more than anything else.

[Leo]

Whitney wrote: "The highlights of the pride parade there included a group of boy scouts who marched ..."

Kool! And I have to agree, being a macaw is a chosen lifestyle.

[Ruby , Mistress of Chaos]