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What do you do/say when someone disses on your reading tastes?
I used to downplay my reading preference for "trashy" novels and hide them on a bookcase in my sewing room where no one goes but me. I even downplayed my own writing to people who asked "what do you write?"!I guess getting older has helped me shake off the "cloak of shame" and come out of my dark closet. All my wonderful, steamy paperbacks are proudly stacked two books deep on a 5 x 6 bookcase in a hall alcove where I can easily pluck one off the shelf to reread when the mood strikes. When asked what I write, my chin juts out proudly when I answer "romantic suspense. Would you like to know more about my stories?"
Own it! Embrace it! And to hell with the rest of the world. They're missing out!
message 4:
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Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal
(last edited May 23, 2012 03:51PM)
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I'm learning to ignore them and get a move on. I am also trying to get more people to read romance with me. I love romance but I once called the non-serious fiction in front of my aunt, and she got offended with me (cos she reads them) - she also call them nonserious books sometimes. But now I ignore them. I hide some of my covers because they are cheesy, and I blush a bit when a random stranger asks me what I am reading, and it is a PNR, but whatevs. I'll still tell them about it. As time goes by I get less and less ashamed. I can have as profound a discussion about the true meaning of feminism by talking about Kate Daniels as I can have discussing Reading Lolita in Tehran. I'd just enjoy Kate's world better. And for most of my detractors, I am better read and more rounded than they, so if anything, reading romance makes me a better person.
Even so, I will STILL hide my covers if they are cheesy. Ashamed or not, cheesy covers are not the business.
I guess that ereaders are nice that way, you can hide the covers. When I feel really bitchy I might point out that many read YA books. Are they more accessible because small words are used? Is it ok to have 16 year old characters be the savior of the world in a post-apocalypse setting? What is the biggest difference between a YA book and a PNR one? Aside from sex scenes that is.
For me it depends on the person. Some people are opinionated and I ignore them for most everything anyhow, others I laugh off and keep reading what I want. I don't mind an opinion being expressed, but be nice about it. I do like having my Nook so the cover doesn't matter beause no one sees it and no one can take offense to it. If I'm reading a physical book and I am at work I usually keep it cover down when I set it down, even if I'm reading Disney, more for my own privacy then others. I don't read according to where I'm at or going to be, I just keep reading a series until I'm done or it is too slow and I need a brake from it. I work in schools (photographer) and usually bring a book and snacks for the day, but what I bring is kept out of the way (books, snacks, coat, equipment cases, etc) in the little area that I'm in.
Michael wrote: "I used to downplay my reading preference for "trashy" novels and hide them on a bookcase in my sewing room where no one goes but me. I even downplayed my own writing to people who asked "what do yo..."I'm with you. Read what you want and enjoy it
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It's interesting that outside the online folks I've met, I don't meet a lot of readers period.
Since I've started openly talking about what I'm reading or writing I've actually made more friends at work. Everyone wants to borrow whatever I'm reading and more are getting involved each week. We've had some great discussions over lunch hours.Now the hard part is keeping up with who has what book of mine. I've become a library. lol!
Lady Danielle - I'm with you on the YA. I've read Twilight and Vampire Diaries at my teen daughter's insistence. Hunger Games is sitting on my nightstand...one of these days I'll read it, but not yet. Reading YA has given me an opportunity to have a closer relationship with my daughter than I ever had with her older sisters. The line between Mother/Daughter has blurred to include friendship. To all Mom's - read whatever your child asks you to, even if it's not your thing (vampires weren't mine until YA). You never know what doors of communication will be opened to your teen.
Likely Romance is the most picked on genre. It's one of my least favorites depending on my mood, although I still love a lot of it. I think people just turn it into stereotypes. Horror gets a bad rep too, Ive always read that and sometimes people act weird about it. If you're an adult reading comics and graphics novels some people think you're immature.
I found myself continually defending my reading choices...it's pretty much to the point where I don't tell anyone what I read anymore. It's not worth it.During a conversation about reading a few years ago at work, somebody actually told me what I read wasn't really reading, not kidding. So yeah ok, then what am I doing HAHAHH! :)
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haha, jk or am I?
No, I don't really have many ppl dissing me. I'm a stay at home mom and I see no one.
Lady Danielle aka The Book Huntress wrote: "I enjoy YA fiction a lot. I have had people say crap about that as well. They make assumptions about it by the fact that it's for teens or in the case of romance, that it is a romance. I think i..."Beth Fantaskey has a great YA series. The first book is Jessica's Guide To Dating On The Dark Side. Funny, some action, mystery, romance, and the typical teenage anxiety over guys/girls.
I look at YA books as the language being clean and very little if any sex & if there is then it's not described just mentioned. I do watch what I read before and after reading YA because it can be tough to go from Anita Blake to Twilight etc. mentally.
I haven't had to much of a problem with people dissing what I am reading. But, I have run into a couple people that have called them "trash novels". I usually just let them believe what they want. They are the ones that are missing out. I love my romances. The "haters" are going to hate regardless of what I say. lol
just say Oh, I like it. Sometimes I ask what they hate about it - and keep putting a negative spin on my question til they find themselves defending it. I've used this tactic with PNR & Romance novels.
What bugs me is when a fellow romance reader disses your genre. Why, what is the point? If I want to read contemp. paranormal, time travel erotica so be it. So it is not always regency I like variety. And yes my family and friends called it a phase when I dropped mysteries and historical sagas and moved into romance. 15 years later they still expect me to grow up and move out of this romance phase i seem to be stuck in. It is when a friend of the friend or family asks if they can borrow a book, in front of my whatever that I really laugh.
message 19:
by
Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal
(last edited May 23, 2012 05:40PM)
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What's interesting is there is just about everything in the romance overall category for everyone. If you don't like one, it doesn't mean that you will hate all of them. I like that there are so many options available.
I like that in YA I can read a story that doesn't have to depend to heavily on sex and violence. But even some YA does have plenty of both. I think there are some very imaginative, well-written, enthralling YA books out there. I won't force anything on anyone, but I feel that categorically turning one's nose up can lead to missing out on some good books. That's not to say if you don't like something, there's something wrong with your tastes.
I usually just give them The Look, and ignore them.
What gets me is when you ask them what they dislike about it, and their answer shows that they haven't read one in the last 50 years! If ever.
A. I don't care what people thing.B. I tell them they don't know what they're missing.
Lady Danielle aka The Book Huntress wrote: "My mom tried to get me to give up romance novels when I was in high school. I lasted a few days. Haven't stopped since and I won't ever again.That's funny - it is my mom who gave me my first Mills & Boon. It's because of her that I love reading so much and though our tastes began to diverge as I grew older, she always encouraged me to read and decide for myself.
I am known for all the little bits of history and general knowledge that I have, and I tell everyone it is because I read so much. I also point out that a lot of the things I know have come from romance novels. Pamela Clare in particular has taught me so many things. When people hear this, they seem surprised, but many of them try the sorts of books that I like.
For me I don't care what people think about what I read.But then for me I'm not bothered about trying to fit into boxes that society tries to fit us into.
But I will say this, I'm sure that if there was a survey done about women who read romance and erotic books, it would say they have more fun in the bedroom lol.
When you think about it, our society is bit screwed up. It's OK when you read about wars, crime, murders etc. But if you read about romance and love it's looked down on by some people. I just don't get that one.
Lady Danielle aka The Book Huntress wrote: "I've heard that the explosive selling of ereaders is linked to women wanting to buy erotic and romantic fiction without feeling singled out/embarrassed for the covers. I personally have an issue w..."Well said Lady D. I have personally always flaunted my "smut" and proudly I might add. I read all kinds of genres but I have never been ashamed of any of them. They bring me joy and I like to think of myself as a decently intelligent college educated woman. Who cares what anybody else thinks.
Awilk wrote: "I am known for all the little bits of history and general knowledge that I have, and I tell everyone it is because I read so much. I also point out that a lot of the things I know have come from ro..."I'm the same way Awilk. I could probably name all the parts of a castle easily and it has come in handy during Jeopardy....LOL. Kings & Queens of England...bring it on. I learned a lot from my historical romances.
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That's fu..."
Actually, my first romance read was my mother's copy of Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsey. I don't know what her thing was at that point, but she snapped out of it. Now she reads my books. :)
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Lady Danielle aka The Book Huntress wrote: "Lauren wrote: "Lady Danielle aka The Book Huntress wrote: "My mom tried to get me to give up romance novels when I was in high school. I lasted a few days. Haven't stopped since and I won't ever ag..."Johanna Lindsay was one of my first HR authors. I read all her books and still have quite a few in hard copy.
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I like all sort of books and genre. I read anything and everything including straight forward romance & I don't pay attention to what people think so much. If I read and liked the book, I'd say so regardless. I tend to ignore people, especially, who said they don't like the book that they haven't read. How would you know you don't like it if you have not read it?
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Yes, Danielle, unilateral is exactly correct. And what you guys are saying is so similar to my experiences.I have friends who tell me they dislike romance and other "crappy" chick lit even though they know I write historical romances. I have, however, turned them onto reading some and they became addicted, just wouldn't admit it in public. Oh, well. I have the satisfaction of knowing they are just peddling an antiquated, recycled idea that has no merit in logic or sense. It's okay to dislike romances but to blindly bash them? Uncool.
I find it ironic that much of the classic literature I read at university was a breed of the romance novel for its time. They are celebrated for their satire and sociological/historical commentary now but ask anyone what they love about Pride and Prejudice and it's "Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth!" not the socio-economical conditions of the day. And RomComs, those big films we all go to see, what are those?
I read on an ereader due to convenience but I used to read paperbacks and would force myself to read in public and eventually just got over what other people thought. The industry is not huge for nothing.
You sound like a very wise and sage lady Susan. And LOL Rebecca Not THE LOOK. Poor receiving soul. Oh BTW Is that look #67with the raised eyebrow, or look #23 with the curled lip? I have the book and rely on it heavily.
I used to be shy about my reading tastes, it wasn't just hearing criticism from people around me, it was also the overall view society holds regarding romance novels and the people who read them. Joining Goodreads has made me much more stronger and comfortable in my reading preferences. The criticism hurts when your alone, but when you have hundreds of other people who LOVE romance novels just as much as you, you have those hundred people behind you who understand (even if you've only talked to them online). It sounds cheesy but it's true.
Komal I completely agree, it's why I love GR so much myself! :)
☼sunny☼ wrote: "And LOL Rebecca Not THE LOOK. Poor receiving soul. Oh BTW Is that look #67with the raised eyebrow, or look #23 with the curled lip? I have the b..."I didn't know there was a book about The Look. heh. It's more of the icy glare of contempt that says 'You worm, you're lucky you're not being stepped on...'
Vicki wrote: "Komal I completely agree, it's why I love GR so much myself! :)"I was afraid to sound too cheesy, but I'm glad someone can relate :)
Lauren wrote: "Lady Danielle aka The Book Huntress wrote: "My mom tried to get me to give up romance novels when I was in high school. I lasted a few days. Haven't stopped since and I won't ever again.That's fu..."
My Mom was reading The Accidental Vampire by Sands & kept laughing, so I gave it a try and loved it and the rest of the Argeneau series. That was 2003 & I haven't stopped reading since. Before that I only read the newspaper and occasional magazine. Even in High School I only read what was assigned in class. That was 13 years after graduating, and now I don't go anywhere without a book.
Lady Danielle aka The Book Huntress wrote: "I think that is my biggest issue, the unilateral dismissing of romance as a worthwhile genre. Ridiculous."I have a thing for vampires, and a sort of friend of mine mocks that, saying that vampire books are garbage and disgusting. To me if the book has humor, & a paranormal critter, then I'll give it a glance. I read to escape, and I like the romance with the paranormal. She is an opinionated person so I usually ignore what she says anyhow.
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I was afraid to sound too cheesy, but I'm glad someone can relate :)"
I am so glad I have you guys to talk books with. A lot of folks just don't get my love for books!
message 43:
by
Danielle The Book Huntress , Loves 'Em Lethal
(last edited May 24, 2012 10:54PM)
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Lady Danielle aka The Book Huntress wrote: "Regarding your friend who ridicules your taste in vampirs, that kind of attitude is very hard to take, Missy. I think we should have tolerance for each other's tastes. I am glad that so many other..."I read the newspaper for realty, I read books to escape. My boyfriend's cousin doesn't read the same kind of books that I do, yet we always talk books and about our Nooks. Tolerance is the key, your absolutely right.
I have to add my praise of Goodreads to the others' here. I so love Goodreads! I'm an author and editor too, but here I can be just a reader-- with other people who are just as crazy about books as me. My web name is Paperback Diva or 'pbdiva'. I use that because society used to equate paperback with 'trash'. Not so much any more (since pb's started costing $12 and up!) but the book snobbery is still there.
I have no shame in reading what I read. If someone wants to pass a judgement on me based on my literary preferences then they have some issues to deal with themselves. I will admit I do house most, not all, but most of my romance novels are in the bookcase in my bedroom. But that is because they are in my childhood bookcase that my grandfather and dad made me when I was little and the case looks nice in the bedroom.
Lady Danielle aka The Book Huntress wrote: Actually, my first romance read was my mother's copy of Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsey. I don't know what her thing was at that point, but she snapped out of it. Now she reads my books. :)Glad to hear that your mom snapped out of it quickly... you never know what might happen if the anti-romance bug gets a hold of you, lol!
Johanna Lindsey - that brings back memories. I learned tons about Vikings, Normans and Saxons from her books. Those who say that women who read romances have an unrealistic expectation of romance are men who fear that they are not satisfying their significant others...
If there is anything I cannot stand, it is a book snob. There is no shame in reading anything and everything, and those who look down their noses at others are the ones who should be ashamed (I have a sneaky feeling that those book snobs also kick small puppies...)
@Missy - a friend who ridicules you for what you like to read, doesn't sound like much of a friend. You should just stick with us!
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I think my mother realized how my books made me happy and that made me a more productive teenager. :)
Haters gonna hate...whatever.I say, reading is supposed to be fun...it's supposed to open your mind and let it wander - there is enough crap going on in the world, a little HEA is always a good thing...
I'll also say, my husband has NEVER complained about my reading selections...in fact, he encourages it with a slow sexy smile!
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How do you feel about that? What do you do when people see you reading a romance novel and talk down to you? Do you think that we should hide our books to avoid ridicule?