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Michael Cargill
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Michael Cargill - 2nd edition of Saying Goodbye to Warsaw
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Patti (baconater)
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Jan 08, 2013 10:38PM

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It was a one-star review for Underneath, a real ranty thing where she made it abundantly clear that she didn't like it and why. In fact it was one of those funny ranty reviews that made me laugh, so I wasn't actually upset/offended/gnashing my teeth.
She even had an additional shelf called 'Yikes', and I was proud to have Underneath sitting atop it with only five other books to keep it company.
So I commented on the review saying that I found her review funny, and we had a pleasant exchange where I didn't argue against her points, and made it clear that it wasn't my place to say she was wrong.
I then posted the review up on my Facebook page, making it clear that I wasn't upset/angry/whatever, but that I quite liked it. Unfortunately, someone then took it upon themselves to give her some personal abuse and things went a bit bad.
I had to then post on Facebook again saying that what happened wasn't acceptable, and it wasn't the reason why I posted the link to the review in the first place.
Luckily, she doesn't blame me for any of it, but she is new to this site and so was a bit upset about it. I encouraged her to stay and to continue writing the one-star reviews if she feels a book deserves it.
God bless the Internets.



Thank you

In the meantime, you never know who your enemies are and who will tilt their swords at windmills for you, I think finding out is always a benefit, regardless of the fall out.

In other news, I've finished the first round of editing for my latest story.
My elation is dampened by the fact that I've got to do it another couple of runs at least still...!
Time for tea and a computer game first.

I've finished the second pass of editing for my WIP! Yay!
I'm mostly happy with it, but I'm now going to print it out and go through it as it's easy to miss things when looking at the monitor.
Incidentally, I've sort of decided on a title for it - Jake.
It's simple, it's easy to spell, and it just so happens to the name of the main character.
I'll be scrounging for beta readers/proof readers in the near future too...!

I'm coming to the last, painful stages of editing for my current work in progress, and I'll be requiring the kind (and beautiful) services of anyone who is willing to help me out.
It's a YA tragedy story of the contemporary variety, with nary a vampire, a troll, a werewolf, or anything from the kingdoms of Fae, nor any spaceships either.
There is plenty of humour, tragedy, lust, envy, and jealousy rampaging around the pages though.
The book is likely to be called Jake as that is the name of the main character, a 15-year old boy who is as insecure and vulnerable as one tends to be at that tender age (note to anyone who is that age: I'm not trying to belittle you here, just setting the scene!).
You get to know his thoughts, his anxieties, and his rivalries as he navigates his way through everyday life, both inside and outside of school.
So, if anyone fancies helping me out that would be fab. Don't worry about being experienced or not - as long as you're willing to read through my story, note down any typos, spelling mistakes, missing words, etc. and then send them back to me that is fine.
It is 80k words long, and I can provide it in Word and PDF formats.
My email address is mcargill79@gmail.com - feel free to email me, message me via Goodreads, or just leave a message here in this thread if you fancy a crack at it.

:(

Lizzy over at Lizzy's Dark Fiction asked several authors to answer some unconventional questions, and they had to be as entertaining as possible to be the one who was chosen.
And I was chosen! 'Cos I was the most entertaining, yo.
Have a look and see if you agree...
http://www.lizzylessard.com/10-questi...

And the word curd just doesn't do itself any favours.

A snowman reviews an organically grown carrott
http://michaelcargill.wordpress.com/2...
Second, my thriller novel Underneath is free to download for the next couple of days from Amazon.

Amazon UK
Amazon US

The colour of the writing, not so much.
Nor the font.
And really, is it that hard to centre it?
:D

The drop down bit for the letter J made it look a bit strange if it was all centered, or at least it did in my head.
I'll be doing more faffing around with it at some point.


I meant the text.
I'm looking forward to seeing different fonts and colours. I think this could be your best cover yet, Michael.
It needs to be as good as the words inside. :)


How about if you take the 'by' away and move your name to the bottom?
Having the 'by' looks all wrong.
Then you could enbiggen the Jake.
I don't like the blue nor the brown. The red was awful.


What if your MC was under Jake, with the width of both lines being the same. It does get lost under his feet.

And thank you Joo for your actions on the zoo!
Not sure how easy it is to make the title and the name the same width though.


My desktop is littered with files called things like 'Jake black text 2(working.jpg' now...!

Because you've got your name in italics, the slant makes it look wider and not symmetrical. I also think your name is too low as it's on his head.


My main issue here is that the cover doesn't tell me anything about what the book is. I assume the MC is a boy in a hoodie. I can assume it's not a romance (no heaving bosoms) or Western (no heaving horses). Is it YA? Mystery? Literary ("a Catcher in the Rye for our times...")? Postapocalyptic adventure (it looks pretty empty out there)?
Seriously, there's a reason thriller covers show people with guns and fantasy covers show elves with swords. The cover signals to potential readers that your book is in a genre they might like. If the cover is ambiguous or hard to figure out, it's likely potential readers will just keep going.

This particular story is centred around a teenage boy called Jake, and it’s all about the teenage insecurities that are bouncing around his head as he battles from one day to the next. There’s drama, there’s jealousy, there’s shouting, there’s tragedy, there’s… well, you’ll just have to see for yourself.

Jealousy, lust, and teenage insecurities are the lifeblood of any large school.
Loneliness can strike without warning, spreading through the cramped corridors like an epidemic.
Out on the playground, rivalries are formed from the pettiest of incidents.
Some people look at Jake in awe, others look at him with hatred.
Jake is just an ordinary boy who wants to be liked.
Jake wants to know why the girls never seem to notice him.
Jake is… well, he’s Jake.
Amazon UK
Amazon US
Smashwords
Reviewers and Goodreads group mods can use the following Smashwords code for a free 'un - JU97J

It's letters to the editor time, in suitably hilarious fashion.
http://michaelcargill.wordpress.com/2...

As shocking as this may sound, I have to confess that I've been writing again.
I'm something of a WWII fanatic and I've already written two short 'uns set during that time. My current WIP is going back to the same era, although this time around it's set in the Warsaw Ghetto. The Holocaust is obviously a delicate subject and I hope that I'm able do it justice.
I'm at the 20k word mark already, which I take as a positive sign that the story and the characters have enough meat for a fully-fledged story.
It's got a working title of Warsaw Story at the moment which will of course change by the time it's ready for publication.
My fascination with anything WWII-related means I don't really view the research as being research - it's almost a hobby. However, reading up in detail about The Holocaust is unsettling to say the least.

It's a heavy, emotional topic. You're brave to take it on. I look forward to the finished book!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imagine_...
The plot makes it sound a bit odd, but I'm not really familiar with how musicals work.
I'm mindful that romance probably isn't really something well-suited (or well-received) to stories set during the Holocaust, so I'll probably be giving it a rather wide berth.
Books mentioned in this topic
Saying Goodbye to Warsaw (other topics)Shades of Grey (other topics)
Underneath (other topics)
We Go Again (other topics)
We Go Again (other topics)
More...