Is there an official 'Lem' scale for books?

[Jonathan]

Hi all,

I'm wondering: Is there a numerical rating system that measures the 'Lemmability' of a book? If there isn't, then it would be pretty easy to invent one, for example:

Lemmability - risk of 'Lemming'

I - Zero lemmability - aka Social Retardant; this book is so gripping that relationships plummet and divorces skyrocket.

II - Mild lemmability - aka Happy Medium; this book is easy to read and to slot into everyday life. Everyone wins.

III - Moderate lemmability - aka School Textbook; this book can be tolerated in low doses, however, it starts to make real life look quite enticing.

IV - Severe lemmability - aka Paperweight; this book ceases to function as a source of literary delight and becomes a bookshelf ornament.

V - Absolute lemmability - aka Argos Catalogue; the opening of this book is tantamount to high treason against humanity. Every time you read a sentence, a unicorn dies.

There are probably more categories to include, but I'm not sure that I, a mere mortal, can define them. Any thoughts?

[Tamahome]

I would take that as gospel.

[Brandon]

You have 2 category III levels. I like your descriptions though.

[Sean]

I have only one level, the Eight Deadly Words: "I don't care what happens to these people." Once I say that, it's bye-bye book.

[A.E.]

I side my lem's with Sean. In some cases, not only does the author give the reader no reason to care for the protagonist, but actions taken by the protagonist make me hate him so much that a budding romance made me feel sorry for the woman.

In a few rare cases, the author might intentionally make the reader hate the protagonists so they'll read to see him fail, but that certainly wasn't done here.

[kvon]

I have a category of 'I wouldn't read this on my own, but I'll try to do it for book club'. Which is probably another way of saying School Textbook.

[Jonathan]

Brandon wrote: "You have 2 category III levels. I like your descriptions though."

Well spotted, sir! I'll correct that in a jiffy. Thanks for the feedback!

[Rik]

Need a category involving sheer boredom where reading the book makes you start daydreaming about the science of grass growing and such. Boredom more than anything is why I've lemmed books.

[Brandi]

Great scale, I will definitely be thinking of all those poor unicorns when I read a level 5.

I also agree with Sean. The Eight Deadly Words are the worst things I can say about a book; I feel like it is the ultimate scathing criticism for literature.

[Abraham]

very difficult. I just lemmed a book, and i feel a great sense of guilt about it. I did get to the halfway mark. The book was a non fiction about religion and it helped me understand a bit more about myself. On the other hand I wished i had lemmed zoo city. For me how far you got through the book is a good indication of lemability. Lemosity. lemaciousness? And by how far, we have to distinguish between page count, and story progression. Full moon double night is best enjoyed when lemmed at 99.98% of the book. Basically before the last sentence where he said "This story will be continued in..."

[Tamahome]

Delany's Stars in My Pocket Like Grains of Sand definitely has a strong lem-point when it switches from the slave to the diplomat's point of view.

[Jeremie]

What does Lem actually mean?

I read part of The History of Britain by Winston Churchill. I quit when I started Pharmacy Technician school.

He won a Nobel Prize for Literature, but boy that book is hard to read. It was interesting in that it was informative, but his writing style was boring. I hate to say that about one of the world's greatest leaders of state, but it was my experience.

C.S. Lewis stated that it is OK to skip around a book or only read parts you like. So as for non-fiction (this probably wouldn't make sense in fiction) you can simply read what you like and move on.

[terpkristin]

Jeremie wrote: "What does Lem actually mean?"

From the FAQ:
What does it mean to "Lem" a book?

The term "Lem" means to not finish a book and abandon it. This term comes from when Sword and Laser were reading Stanisław Lem's Memoirs Found in a Bathtub. Veronica couldn't make it through the book so just gave up reading it.

[Jeremie]

Oh, I do that all the time. I used to go to the bookstore buy books start them, bend the covers (so I couldn't return them - and I don't think it is OK to read 50 pages and return a book - but that is just me), and stop reading it.

That is one reason I love "Sword and Laser" along with "Vaginal Fantasy Hangout" [Veronica is great on both] because it gives me guidance on what is great to read.

Kudos to Veronica for investing her time and money to help us become more avid readers. I think that makes a valuable contribution to our country and has an impact on us raising children (of course I don't have any kids, but one or two would be great, although being an only child is rough [I'm an only child] - yeah I know this digression is way off topic). If a child has a parent who reads, the child is more likely to end up being a reader herself/himself.

[Tamahome]

Lem is also defined in the wiki: http://swordandlaser.wikia.com/wiki/G...

[Jeremie]

Tamahome: Thanks, I knew I'd seen a glossary somewhere. I was wondering where it was.

[A.J.]

There are two problems that I see with a Lem scale:

1) Any book will be different for different people. Some things that I find gripping will likely bore other people to tears. I suppose that once you know what sort of books a person likes (or hates), you can determine how the Lem scale value they assign to a book will apply to you (sort of like how you know a movie will be good if certain critics pan it).

2) A book may have multiple Lem values. Take, for example, The Baroque Cycle. Some chapters were so brilliant I couldn't put it down. Some were so .... weird, boring, wtf ... that I couldn't put it down soon enough. I would assign an over-all Lem score to the series, but that score would change from chapter to chapter in the books.

[Warren]

The lowest scale should be: "I wouldn't read this one in a waiting room."

[Jonathan]

A.J. wrote: "There are two problems that I see with a Lem scale:

1) Any book will be different for different people. Some things that I find gripping will likely bore other people to tears. I suppose that once..."


Yes it could be a bit crude for the majority of books. I'll have to rethink somewhat!

[Jonathon]

Perhaps the way to do this would be to do it as a Lemming Probability Indicator.

After we've finished reading a book we log our rating out of, for example, 5 (anyone who actually lemmed the book counts as a 0) and we take an average based on the number of participants and the number we get out of 5 at the end would be our LPI where:

1 - High likelihood of lemming
2 - More chance of lemming than not
3 - 50/50 chance of lemming
4 - More chance of reading and enjoying the book than not
5 - If you lem this you're an idiot

By taking it as an average, with a decent enough sample size (which no doubt this group would provide), we're more likely to come out with an accurate idea of how likely a new reader would be to lem a book.

And then on the wiki page for a book we could include the Lemming Probability Indicator for folk who are unsure whether or not they want to read it.

[Tina]

Jeremie wrote: "If a child has a parent who reads, the child is more likely to end up being a reader herself/himself.
"

I think so. I have only anecdotal evidence, though. I used to read to my son incessantly and he is an avid reader today (was always way ahead of his class in reading/language skills). He was very hyperactive but when I read to him he would sit still and listen. My mom read out loud to me and my siblings when small. And my dad, an avid reader himself, sometimes took me to the library as a kid, which became one of my favorite places to hang out.