Heart of the Matter
discussion
What do you think was the main problem the couple had in their marriage (besides the infidelity)?
You know, this isn't the only EG book that I have problems with. How did you all feel about Love the One You're With? I didn't like the way it ended, and I found the female protagonist selfish too. I feel she didn't give her husband the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding their relationship. Sure, her infraction was less offensive than Nick's in many ways, but it was still dishonest and selfish.
I didn't like the ending of "Love the One You're With" - just because I couldn't relate to the main character. To me she was similar to Nick! On one hand - she had this perfect husband, on the other hand - she never got over her ex boyfriend! In fact, she was almost worse than Nick - since she and her husband, Andy, didn't have the problems at home that Nick and Tessa did... To me it seemed that Ellen and Andy were a perfect couple and Ellen just went and started messing with a perfectly good thing! Why?! Because Leo made her a hormonal teenager again... The cheating didn't really get very far - but still too far for me to forgive her and I don't think Andy should have either...
Stephanie wrote: "Linda wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "Hello ladiesMy thought on the current discussion:
"He was a jerk. Plain and simple. He did deserve to loose everything. The way he treated Tessa and the kids is d..."
Love this stephanie. Nick deserved tit for tat from Tessa, I soooo wish Tessa had gone on dates, or even met a friend who was male, so Nick could suffer. Let's be honest here, he didn't suffer at all! That is what is so horrible about this book.
on a side note to this discussion...can someone please explain to me what the heck the heart of the matter in this novel should be? Are we, the reader, supposed to think its forgiveness?I also read Love the one your with, and hated it. Ellen was up there with my Nick hate.
Stephanie wrote: "Linda wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "Hello ladiesMy thought on the current discussion:
"He was a jerk. Plain and simple. He did deserve to loose everything. The way he treated Tessa and the kids is d..."
Hi Stephanie: I think you have somehow gotten the wrong slant on our differences in our opinions of this book.
I have ALWAYS maintained that Nick was a spoiled, self-centred, pompous, selfish jerk. He didn't suffer nearly enough for what he did. I still think so.
HOWEVER!! (I know I am probably going to get blasted for this) - I also believed that he was not a truly bad person. He made terrible mistakes and almost lost his family. He took Tessa for granted and treated her badly. Tessa knew that things were not going well between them but was too frightened to say anything. If she had confronted him and made it clear that she would not put up with his behaviour maybe things wouldn't have gone so far. The night she came home early from New York they had a terrible argument. Nick dumped Valerie and begged Tessa to take him back. He could have stayed with Valerie but he didn't want her. In the end he stressed his love for Tessa and his children, promised to do anything it took to get them back and I think his remorse was genuine. All of this is old news.
I still believe that these two love each other and Tessa WILL be able to forgive Nick. I hope we get the chance to find out in one of EG's next books.
I love your idea about Tessa having a few dates of her own. I think Nick would be shocked and shattered. I would have loved to see that happen. GO TESSA!!
Sarah, yes, I think that forgiveness is the moral of this story. Can Tessa forgive Nick? That is the big question.
I did read "Love the One Your With." It really wasn't my favourite EG book. I agree with Elena that Ellen was much the same as Nick. She had everything she could ever want and didn't even realize it until it was almost too late. I don't remember all of the details of this story, but wasn't there a mention of some kind that Leo was not interested in the long term, only in a fling. I remember that I didn't like Leo much.
One of my favourite novels by Emily Giffin is "Where We Belong." I so wanted Marion to end up with Conrad but with similarities to "Heart of the Matter" we are left hanging about whether they will end up together. I would like Emily to make a reference to how things worked out for these two as well. She certainly leaves her readers with a lot of unanswered questions.
Linda wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "Linda wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "Hello ladiesMy thought on the current discussion:
"He was a jerk. Plain and simple. He did deserve to loose everything. The way he treated Tess..."
Hey Linda,
I think you are right that the moral of the story was forgives, but we are never sure if Tessa actually forgives Nick. I wish EG would have touched on this more. As it is, Tessa was taking it one day at a time...who says that in 2 months, maybe she CANT forgive Nick. Too many questions left open.
If the theme was forgiveness, EG should have let us know what happens to Tessa and Nick.
Elena wrote: "I didn't like the ending of "Love the One You're With" - just because I couldn't relate to the main character. To me she was similar to Nick! On one hand - she had this perfect husband, on the othe..."Valid points! I didn't even look at it that way...that she had a happy marriage and started to sabotage it.
Linda wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "Linda wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "Hello ladiesMy thought on the current discussion:
"He was a jerk. Plain and simple. He did deserve to loose everything. The way he treated Tess..."
Speaking of Nick breaking up with Valerie after Tessa came home from NYC. How about it took him a whole 10 days of deliberations to do it in the first place? 10 DAYS! That is not the act of a guilty man who desires to repair his marriage. He was sitting there trying to figure out what he should do, which I imagined included a pros and cons list regarding either leaving his family for Valerie, continuing their affair, or staying with Tessa and giving Valerie up for good. Sure, he finally came to the last conclusion, but after that sort of argument he and Tessa had, and seeing just how broken she was, should it have taken him 10 day to end it? Where was the guilt over fucking up? There didn't seem to be any, just him sulking about the consequences regarding either of his decisions that he was indecisive about making.
I feel like, to us, it was a no brainer for him to at least attempt to fix his marriage once Tessa called him on his crap after coming home from NYC. I don't care that he didn't contact Valerie in that amount of time either, I just think it's even more awful of him to not even consider trying to repair things with his wife as a initial option, knowing that he was wrong in the first place. He had to deliberate! I am so incensed over this!
Their marriage wasn't that bad even with their problems. As you pointed out, Linda, they were very trivial in the grand scheme of things. And it took this sorry excuse for a husband 10 DAYS to contemplate his commitment to his 7 year marriage and two young children, after already reneging on his vows of fidelity, honor, respect, and love.
UGH!
I agree with the Heart of the Matter being forgiveness, but more so in the sense of what you are willing to live with or not. In the end, for Tessa, it seemed like love. The heart of the matter being that even though her husband was disrespectful, hurtful, and faithless to her. she loved him, and wanted to do what she can to preserve that love.
Exactly Stephanie. It's those 10 days that piss me off...I believe he used those 10 days to to question if he wanted to stay with Tessa, when he should have known that night she came from back NYC. 10 days to decide if the woman who bore your children, showed you unconditional love, and was an amazing woman,in my opinion, is way too long. So F$&@ nick. I mean seriously.
Stephanie wrote: "Linda wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "Linda wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "Hello ladiesMy thought on the current discussion:
"He was a jerk. Plain and simple. He did deserve to loose everything. The way h..."
Yes Stephanie, it did take 10 days for Nick to decide what he was going to do. We have all covered this time period and agree that it is so unsettling that none of us even like to think about it.
During their last conversation Nick told Tessa that he didn't really know but thought he had loved Valerie. He said it was what looked and felt like love. He also said that what he felt for Valerie was nothing compared to how he loved Tessa. He said that he couldn't even think about Valerie and Charlie any more.
Nick didn't just break Tessa's heart, he broke Valerie and Charlie's hearts as well. Nick felt enormous guilt for what he had done. I think that we have to agree that Nick did want Valerie for a time and contemplated leaving Tessa. His final decision was to leave Valerie and come home. When he got home he realized that it was Tessa he really wanted. Tessa knows Nick was torn about what to do. She will have to live with that for the rest of her life. Emily didn't give us the long term so we can only speculate.
Nick was in a situation that boggles the mind in my opinion. He was caught between the two families. As he told Valerie - he looked at it from every angle. What he did to Charlie was tragic. What he did to Tessa and his children was almost unforgivable.
Nick got himself into this position and I certainly have no sympathy for him, although I still maintain that Nick didn't set out to have an affair - it was just something that grew and grew until it was out of control. He eventually had such strong feelings for Valerie and felt enormous guilt about what he had done that it was almost his undoing in my opinion.
There was no decision he could make that wasn't going to leave a broken family. The family he chose to leave was Valerie's. That's as it should be - Valerie was just as guilty as Nick and they both deserved to suffer.
This story is about forgiveness and I guess we will never know if Tessa is able to forgive or not.
Linda, you are right,Nick was caught between two families, let's not forget that one of them was his OWN family. That's the most repulsive part about it, if he left Tessa, he would have been leaving his own children.I still don't understand how Tessa could ever truly reconcile with nick, knowing he really debated leaving her. That alone, is unforgivable. I truly believe that during those 10 days nick did struggle greatly on what to do, and to me, that downer show a man who truly loved his family.
Linda wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "Linda wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "Linda wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "Hello ladiesMy thought on the current discussion:
"He was a jerk. Plain and simple. He did deserve to loose ev..."
See, I don't view his leaving Valerie and Charlie as breaking up their family. He wasn't THEIR family. And that's the problem. No one was heeding their appropriate roles. And so in the end, that "broken family" is on Valerie, as she was coveting someone else's husband instead of sending his ass home to HIS family, HIS wife. She was daydreaming about his breaking up his own family for hers. F#ck her! She too is worthy of scorn. She completely repulsive. And you know, Nick doesn't owe Valerie or Charlie shit outside of patient/Dr correspondence. It is the decent thing to do, checking in on the mistress, but he owed her family nothing. Valerie's responsibility was her and her son. Nick's was to his own family. Period. So I don't see him as caught between the two bc he has no lawful investment in the Andersons. Just self centered ones.
"...he didn't really know but thought he had loved Valerie. He said it was what looked and felt like love. He also said that what he felt for Valerie was nothing compared to how he loved Tessa. He said that he couldn't even think about Valerie and Charlie any more" I got the impression that all this was what he came to realize having all that time to himself AFTER his confession and Tessa kicking him out for a month.
Which makes sense, since she wouldn't talk to him and he was in the dark about what would become of his marriage, his family.
Are you saying he loved Valerie, Linda? Sometimes it seems that's what you're arguing against, and sometimes it seems that's what you think. Personally, I've always maintained the thought that he DID in deed love Valerie, just not as much as he loved Tessa. There are, after all, different degrees of loving someone, I think. And so I also agree he was contemplating leaving his family for Val's, and THAT is what is unforgivable to me. Actually contemplating the action although he didn't have an arguably GOOD reason for for doing so. Just carnal hedonism and ego. And when you consider just how hard it is to maintain a relationship, much less the most serious of relationships: a marriage, the fact that he was really ready to check out on what he had with Tessa bc of some trivial bullshit is just really sad and unforgivable. What would he be doing if more serious problems were affecting their marriage? Most often there are more serious things that contribute to their endings.
He's weak and a selfish POS! The more I think about it, the more enraged I get.He should be alone. This book, man...I'm telling you, it's crazily evocative.
The thought of breaking up his own family in order to create a two parent home for a boy and single mother? You could actually seriously contemplate putting your own wife and litte kids through that, so you can complete someone else's? He disgusts me.
WHY Tessa, what didn't you make him pay more? She and her children are worth so much more. For her sake, I hope she finds a second great love.
I really wished that some talented person out there would write an alternate ending and or continuation of the story via Fanfiction. This ending is on par with the Twilight fade to black business. Totally unsatisfying and incomplete.
Your right Stephanie. Just as your review came in I was starting to answer Sarah's last response to say that what I was feeling didn't translate properly. I DO NOT think that Nick loved Valerie. He thought he did for a time but didn't. Remember, they only knew each other for 7 weeks and I don't believe that anyone can know another in that short length of time. As we've rehashed over and over, he loved Valerie's company. There were no problems when he was with her like there were at home. He also loved that Valerie looked upon him as a hero.I completely agree that the weeks that he was separated from his family after Tessa kicked him out made him realize without a doubt that he loved his own family. He was almost frantic at the last that he might loose them. I don't think that during that time he gave Charlie and Valerie another thought. That is why I don't think he would ever do something like that again.
I didn't mean that Valerie and Charlie were his family. When I said whatever Nick decided there would be a broken family left. Valerie and Charlie were completely "broken" when Nick left them. I know you are not going to like this but I think that Nick's remorse when he broke up with Valerie is another sign that he was not really a bad person. He didn't WANT to hurt anyone. He was completely ashamed about what he had done to everyone. I don't think that it is in Nick's nature to lie and cheat, but that is what he did. I think he will regret it forever.
You guys raise some excellent points...I so wish someone would write an alternate ending to the one we got, seems everyone hates it.I view the affair in 2 parts.
1) when Nick was in the affair, he was not living in reality. Feeding his ego and selfish desires, he never thought of his OWN family.
2) The moment Nick confessed, I think he was awakened to how much he had hurt Tessa and was petrified of loosing her.
I think when you are separated from the one you love, you play all your mistakes back and wish you could have done things differently. This is what happened with Nick, HOWEVER, this happened off page and the reader never sees those moments with Nick, which is so unsatisfying.
Stephanie, you are SOOOO right how Nick owed Valerie SHIT. I mean, who lets a married man get attached to their own child. A shitty parent, and Nick, how selfish can one be??? Poor Charlie.
I am starting to think that Tessa won't forgive Nick, I mean once she is privy to all the disgusting details (Halloween), how could she stay?
I still don't believe Nick loved Valerie, however, I don't even care about that anymore. Its his inaction towards his own family that is the deal breaker for a second chance. I always found the most heartbreaking statement was when Tessa was out for lunch with her parents and she said their OWN children had not noticed Nick was no longer living at home. I mean, doesn't that say it all? Yes, he has a very hectic schedule, but Nick Russo abandoned his own children during his affair.
Linda, I think you are spot on, Nick was selfish and immature. Anyone who has been in a relationship long term, knows that over time relationships change, and you learn to deal with those changes. Nick wanted the feeling of new romance, well hello, that feeling ALWAYS fades and grows into a deeper love. I think he was shallow and plastic (no pun intended)
Linda wrote: "Your right Stephanie. Just as your review came in I was starting to answer Sarah's last response to say that what I was feeling didn't translate properly. I DO NOT think that Nick loved Valerie, ..."Hi Linda,
Thanks for clearing that up. Though, I do think ppl can certainly fall in love with a person in 7 wks, you just may not be in the kind of love that can withstand serous life trials. I think the degree of love for a person in the romantic sense really demands time and weathering. There are ppl who are in love who have never weathered a storm, but who's to say just how strong their love for one another is without the tests? KWIM?
Anyway, I totally agree Nick was remorseful about Val and Charlie, and I agree Val and Charlie were broken when Nick left; it's just that I don't see their brokenness as something he was primarily responsible for. His absence IS the cause for their brokenness, yes, but Val should have never allowed him to be a part of her life in the capacity that he was. So their brokenness lies more on Valerie than Nick. His emotional and supportive fiduciary responsibility was to his own family. Sure, overall, I don't think Nick is total bad person. He isn't. But he wasn't a good person as Tessa's husband. He's just a self-centered arrogant ass, and together these are personality flaws I have never been able to look past in RL or fiction at least not without seeing what I view as genuine hard earned redemption. I don't like who he is as a husband and I have issues with his lack of parental involvement and his comfort in causing his children to go without him in more than one capacity and thus being present for an outsider.
I just don't like him as a person based on his story in this book. At least, not present day Dr. Nick Russo as Tess'a husband. He never did anything to endear himself to me, even before the affair. From the trivial to the significant, his actions and language as a husband (to me) didn't translate a deep love and respect for his wife or as a fully devoted and involved father.
He was an admirable doctor. Those exchanges, taking the kids to the museum, and the request to make Tessa eggs are the only things I can honestly say made him seem attractive as a person/character. Here are little things that make him lacking:
When is it ever ok not to get anything for one's wife on your anniversary, especially if you have the means to do so?
When is it ok to forgo spending Halloween w/your own kids for someone else's?
When is it ok to buy another woman's dinner and not take any home for your own wife?
He's thoughtless. In the majority of the book, Tessa is not seemingly a priority to him. She is an afterthought. She is expendable. For a time, she was even worth less than Valerie. He didn't struggle about what he was doing until the very very end, when Tess indicated her suspicions. His lack of guilt prior to the confession bothers me to no end.
I'm just not impressed with this guy, and for the life of me, I don't how Tessa can stomach taking him back. He clearly doesn't seem like the person she married either
It's much more than the affair for me. It's his lack of regard for his family through the entirety of the affair. It's his negligence as a caring husband. It's the way he talks to Tessa, and it's the way he manipulated her mind against herself--his decision to purposefully make her feel inadequate to avoid confrontation that was necessary. It's the fact that some of these things are things that started prior to the affair. His condescending tongue to his pregnant wife? Yeah, bc a during the time of pregnancy is definitely the best time to make your wife feel like shit and stupid.
Exactly Stephanie, it so much more than the affair, it's everything he did, which you described in such great detail.Since we all agree that the theme was forgiveness, I just question how why EG ended it the way she did.
What happens when Tessa is in bed at night, with nick sleeping beside her, her mind will wonder to those dark places...was she the second choice? Did he only stay for the kids? How was sex with Valerie? These questions, and so many more heartbreaking ones will arise...leaving her to question who is she is as wife and mother. Do I think she is strong? Absolutely. Do I think nick had destroyed their foundation as a couple and family, yes. I no longer believe this couple can make it, due to all the things Nick. It's one thing to cheat on your wife, but your kids?? Nick was a horrible father and husband. Sure he was a good surgeon. I'm not saying he is evil, he just deserved to lose everything and set tessa free.
Sarah wrote: "Exactly Stephanie, it so much more than the affair, it's everything he did, which you described in such great detail.Since we all agree that the theme was forgiveness, I just question how why EG ..."
Agreed. Tessa has a lot to forgive. Nick was not always a very nice person. We have covered all of this before .... spoiled, conceited.... Tessa said it herself - Nick was often a dirty player, saying cruel things and then being sorry. These are all personality traits. Tessa knew Nick better than anyone ever has and through it all she still loved him.
Ironically, Nick and Tessa were separated for almost exactly the same length of time that Nick was with Valerie - 7 weeks. During those 7 weeks he was apart from Tessa he was in CONSTANT contact with her. I believe that during all of his messages, letters etc. he would have covered just about every question Tessa could have had about his and Valerie's relationship. At the end Tessa said that she would try to forgive him but wasn't sure if she could. I believe that Nick was so terrified of loosing her that he would have talked to her about all of her concerns and told her anything she wanted to know.
Tessa has to make up her mind that if she forgives Nick it will be almost like starting over again. As Nick said "it won't be the same but maybe it can be better." Tessa said "that's exactly what I wanted him to say."
Linda wrote: "Sarah wrote: "Exactly Stephanie, it so much more than the affair, it's everything he did, which you described in such great detail.Since we all agree that the theme was forgiveness, I just questi..."
Linda, you raise some good points. However, forgiving is not the same as forgetting. Nick's actions will FOREVER be with Tessa, and with HIM.
While he was terrified of loosing her, he should have been terrified the moment he took Valerie for coffee (and crossed that boundary)
Does anyone here really think a marriage after an affair can be better than before? I don't. Their marriage will forever be be defined as before the affair and after the affair. Yes, affairs happen far to often in real life. Just so tragic. I usually be believe tit for tat, but in this case, heck, I wish Tessa would have had an affair while they were separated.
Nick was a smart guy, who knew what he was doing was wrong. I think a POV from his side would have given the reader a deeper understanding of him. I actually found his attraction to Valerie to comical in a sad way, as it showed how far he had fallen.
Stephanie wrote: "Linda wrote: "Your right Stephanie. Just as your review came in I was starting to answer Sarah's last response to say that what I was feeling didn't translate properly. I DO NOT think that Nick l..."Yes, we all agree that Nick was behaving very badly before he met Valerie. He did take Tessa for granted and was withdrawing from the family.
BUT, Tessa was not behaving in her normal way either. She admitted that she wasn't the same person Nick married. She focused on what her neighbours thought rather than on her marriage. She was depressed and unhappy because she had quit her job.
Absolutely this marriage was going through a very rough patch. I blame both Nick and Tessa for the problems. I DO NOT blame Tessa for Nicks affair though. He might not have been happy with their relationship at that time but that could never justify what happened between him and Valerie.
We can go through every detail about his behavour during that time - Halloween, Anniversary, the way he talked to Tessa, the way he ignored Tessa when she tried to talk to him......There is no end of things we don't like. I prefer to lump it all into one situation.....Neither Nick or Tessa were happy with the way things were, they both let their guard down, fell into bad habits and did and said things they shouldn't.
Sarah: - Tessa can spend the rest of her life wondering about things and torturing herself over the past or she can forgive. Forgiving and forgetting are fairly similar in my opinion. If she forgives him and wants a happy marriage she had GOT to let this bad time in their marriage go. Nick is ashamed of his behavour, Tessa is aware of her mistakes. They will learn from those mistakes and their relationship WILL be better because that is what they both want.
You know, This morning I went back to the book to torture myself AGAIN (I just can't stop punishing myself, I know!). I have gotten a new Kindle finally, but I have none of my notes from the old books! (cries) and so it took some digging to get to the parts I wanted to review since we started discussing who loved whom. Anyway, one of my earlier arguments on this thread was the fact that Valerie lied to Tessa about Nick telling her he loved her, which IMO, prevented Tessa from making a thorough informed decision, since she doesn't have all the accurate information. I'd like to revisit my thoughts on this again. I still hold to the thought that Valerie lied to Tessa.
Here's why: I believe, and more importantly NICK believed, that when he told Val he loved her, and would always do so, that he felt that way at the time. And really, that's all that matters. At the time he made that confession to her during the breakup, in HIS mind he was being 100% honest and felt conviction about it. I think it's further supported that he believed that he did based on his conversation with Tessa, when he said that what he felt for Val "looked and felt like love" if he couldn't exactly call it that, since he says he doesn't know if he does. Not only that, but Tessa herself BELIEVED Nick loved Val bc of the way he was carrying on since she got back from NYC--like a man in love who has a difficult decision to make regarding what he plans on doing with it....staying or going--and she knows her husband enough to be able to make that call. AND his 10 day deliberation on whether or not he wants to stay in his marriage. I have to say, a cheating and TRULY guilty spouse who pretty much gets exposed for the cheating asshole they are is not going to take 10 DAYS to deliberate on whether or not they should breakup their marriage and leave their two young children and wife for a person they don't believe they're in love with. That's not happening. Even if he was just trying to figure out a way to keep the affair going, it would have been an initial call to Val telling her that they have to chill out on the affair for some time bc Tessa is on to them, but he'll figure it out for them to resume it soon. That is not what happened.
Additionally, who the eff is Nick to tell someone how they felt about another person? It's his arrogance and his superiority at work AGAIN! His claim that Valerie didn't really love him is BS! It's insulting and condescending, bc I think we can all agree that she genuinely felt that way, and it's why she was so brokenhearted and confessed the same to Tessa. His reasoning for denying Val's feeling is bc "love doesn't work like that...it's about sharing a life with each other." Sure, that IS ONE FORM of how love is EXPRESSED, but are you f-cking telling me that cheating husbands can't really fall in love with their mistresses and their mistresses can't fall in love with them, the cheating husbands? I assure you that's erroneous. I don't have to provide examples of this bc you all know they are all over the place and throughout the history of time.
Love is love, and sometimes the most oddest of couples and situations are born of it. Love has no prejudice NOR does it have a time limit on how much time has to elapse before it's valid. It's about what it becomes in the manner of weathering adversity. And even then, it's not about loving or not loving, it's about loving someone ENOUGH to withstand whatever the trial is. If Tessa had chosen to leave Nick, are you telling me that she didn't really love him then? Is a wife or husband who decides to divorce their addict spouse not in love with them if they do? Is Nick choosing to break things off with Valerie proof that he didn't really love her? I don't think so. All it proves is that he didn't love her enough to leave what he has with his current family. And even then, his decision to do so could have been primarily bc he wanted to stay for his kids--his family, not bc of his love for Tessa (he only admits to respecting her and still caring deeply for her, which IMO, you don't cheat on and betray someone you truly respect, and I don't see how he ever displays this claim of caring for her deeply. He does nothing for her solely as her husband). Not once does he talk about (still) loving his wife until AFTER the breakup--when Tessa talks about what he says in the letters. The opportunity he had to tell his wife that he loved her rang false to both readers and Tessa herself. He took forever to make the declaration (the post-NYC argument), he had to THINK about it; and when he did, Tessa (and us readers) had to wonder in fact what kind of love he was speaking of. I got the impression that it wasn't the kind of love wives want and expect their husbands to feel for them.
Another thing is that Nick himself can't even deny for sure that he WASN'T in fact IN LOVE with Valerie. At best he can only say that he doesn't know. What the hell does that even mean, you ask? It means he could have been, or was pretty close to it if not; but, it can be either or, and so the only fact is that there IS NO definitive answer. So yeah, I'm not sure how any reader can say that he didn't in fact love Valerie. Especially since we don't have his POV, but instead his dialogue that it was indeed a possibility. I also like how he himself can say Valerie wasn't really in love with him, and at the same time can't even give a definitive answer regarding his feeling for her himself. Pffft! Is he saying he is more capable of loving than Valerie is? How so? If it's based on his reasoning, he didn't share a life with her either. Either way, this either proved Nick is a unreliable narrator from Tessa's POV, a liar, or is an error on EG's part via weakness in her writing. He doesn't seem to know his own mind.
I wished Tessa would have asked Nick himself if he ever told Valerie he loved her. That would provide us with more information on just how honest Nick was willing to be regarding his relationship w/Val and also give Tessa more information that I believe Val held from her.
In regards to what Linda said: "I believe that Nick was so terrified of loosing her that he would have talked to her about all of her concerns and told her anything she wanted to know." I don't think he would have been completely honest. He would not give it to her straight up. He'd find a way to deliver the news (if he did do it) by sugar coating it. I feel this way bc he displays genuine discomfort and disapproval when Tessa herself talks about what she thought of Val after meeting her herself. He's too ashamed; and I'm thinking he doesn't want to relive all the dirty truth in it's candor to his wife who he is desperately trying to prove himself to in order to save his marriage. If he couldn't tell Val he loved his wife or had any good feelings about her bc, at the time, he didn't want to hurt Val's feelings, as he thought he was in love with her, why would he do that to Tessa?
Stephanie, you raise some points I have never really thought about. I think if Valerie had been honest with Tessa, in admitting that Nick did tell her he loved her, the story would have been vastly differently and in my opinion, much more rewording.You guys have made me so confused on if nick really loved tessa lol. I used to think yes, but with Stephanie's brilliant explanations, I think Nick Russo is only capable of loving himself.
I still argue that the most troubling part of this story is the final conversation between Tessa and Nick, he can't decide if he loved Valerie or not, I jut don't understand how any wife can move on with reconciliation knowing your husband may still love another person. I found that rather disturbing and only adds to my heartbreak for Tessa.
One more thing to add, I found this book to be the typical description of an affair in novels, I wish EG had set herself in regard to this subject. Husband has affair and they attempt to rebuild...I think she really could have made this book amazing without all the cheap emotional punches
Oh, and another thing regarding Nick and his conflicting definitions of love. He says "love doesn't work like that...love is what we have."I would have asked him, "so, what we have my husband being unfaithful to me, his wife, so that's how you show me you truly love me?" It's you not knowing whether or not you fell in love with another woman?"
On another note, remember when Tessa says that if what Nick has with Val was a "cheap thrill" then he wasn't worth fighting for, and that the linchpin of her decision is based on whether or not Nick told Val he loved her, or told her that he no longer loved her, Tessa? I always wondered why she would take him back then if she believed he was in love with Val. Is his admittance to this feeling to the woman any different than feeling it to begin with?
It seemed so contradictory.
Wow Stephanie! I am having trouble understanding this. This is all very confusing to me.Yes, Valerie most certainly lied to Tessa when she said that Nick didn't tell her he loved her. He did tell her. A lot of time had passed between Nick's break-up with Valerie and the book store discussion. By then Valerie had come to realize that her relationship with Nick was most assuredly over. I believe she lied to Tessa because she was so ashamed of and sorry for what she had done. The only thing Valerie thought she could do to help Tessa at that point was to tell her that Nick didn't tell her he loved her, he loved Tessa. She was being kind.
When Nick told Valerie that he loved her and always would I know he did have strong feelings for her. He placed far too much emphasis on how much he wanted her and I have previously stated that I think that is proof that he really didn't love her because declaring this great love for her could only make her feel worse not better.
I disagree when you say that how Nick felt about Valerie at the time is all that matters. It's not that time that matters, it's the time he realized that he didn't love Valerie and did want Tessa that is important. He was very emotional and ashamed at the time he was breaking up with Valerie. He was almost babbling. I think we all agree that Valerie was in love with Nick. He would certainly know it too. He would be blaming himself for her grief. Nick's only feelings for Valerie and Charlie in the end would be feelings of shame for what he had done to them.
I don't know why Nick took 10 days to tell Valerie that it was over. As I've said, he had very strong feelings for her, he felt terrible remorse and shame over what he had done to her. Maybe he did contemplate staying with her - we can never know. In the end he realized that she was NOT what he wanted, he wanted Tessa. I think THAT is what matters.
In regard to Nick telling Tessa that Valerie didn't love him, only thought she did, how do you know he didn't believe that. I don't see that as arrogant or condescending at all, I think he was just being truthful about his feelings. That is exactly how he felt about Valerie. He thought at one time that what they had might be love but had since come to realize that it wasn't. Of course cheating lovers can fall truly in love. As you say that is proven throughout time. That is NOT what happened here. When Tessa kicked Nick out of the house and he had 7 weeks to reflect on everything he KNEW that what he wanted was Tessa. If not he most certainly would have gone back to Valerie.
I am not trying to tell you that if Tessa left Nick it means that she didn't love him!! Where did that come from? I am 100% sure that Tessa did love Nick. When Nick told Valerie that he still cared deeply for Tessa that is pretty much what most cheating spouses tell their girlfiends. He would hardly sit in that restaurant with Valerie and tell her he was sooo in love with his wife.
Maybe the only reason Nick wanted Tessa back was because he wanted his kids and didn't love her at all. I don't believe that for a minute. If he went back to Valerie he would have his children 50% of the time. More time than he saw them before because of his work schedule. He could have gotten rid of Tessa, had Valerie, Charlie, Ruby and Frankie and not be involved with Tessa again. THAT'S NOT WHAT HE WANTED. He said he loved Tessa, not going back to Valerie proves to me that it's true. Why would he declare his love for Tessa over and over if it wasn't true. That doesn't make any sense to me.
Stephanie, you are basing all of your opinions on the times that they happened. What really matters here is what Nick discovered during the 7 weeks he was separated from Tessa. Did he love Valerie, didn't he love Valerie, did he love Tessa, didn't he love Tessa, would he sugar-coat everything???? It makes my head swim. He knew in the end that he wanted Tessa and more than likely never gave Valerie another thought.
Nick made a terrible mistake. He knew it. Nothing can change that - it's done!! The only thing he can do now is make things right from here on in. I think he will be able to do that.
Exactly Stephanie. What woman would rather their husband be in love with the OW, I never understood that. Tessa seemed like a strong woman, and would not have settled for a man maybe/maybe not in love with OW.I really hate nick. Lol
I think everyone is raising some really points. This book clearly struck a cord in all of us.The more we discuss this, the more confused I get. I am team tessa till the end.
I think the biggest struggle I had with this novel was I never saw the attraction between Nick and Valerie. I didn't, and judging by the other reviews I have read, others didn't see it either.
I still stand by the fact, no Charlie, no affair.
I also question if nick had met Valerie and Charlie outside the hospital and Charlie wasn't injured, he wouldn't have looked twice at them.
Nick and Valerie's relationship was never built on a solid foundation and never would been able to endure.
I find it fascinating how passionate we are all about this book. Clearly it brings out strong emotions in all of us.
SARAH - YOU NAILED IT !!No Charlie, No Affair &
If Nick had met Valerie and Charlie outside the hospital and Charlie wasn't injured, he wouldn't have looked twice at them.
You have summed up this entire book in a few short words.
When Nick first met Charlie in the hospital Nick was drawn to him. We never were given a reason for this and I never understood it because Nick saw injured children every day. I don't know why he had such a reaction to Charlie or felt such pity for him, more so than any of the other children he saw. When Nick left Charlie to talk to his family the only one who was there was Valerie.
Their affair was the result of an assortment of things:
- Nick was not happy at home because he wasn't getting the attention he craved.
- Valerie was alone.
- Nick knew immediately that Valerie was attracted to him.
- Valerie fed Nicks ego.
- Charlie didn't have a father.
- Valerie was frightened and Nick was the one who was going to save her & Charlie.
- Valerie hung on to Nicks every word. That didn't happen when he was at home.
You say that Nick would never have looked at Valerie if he met her outside the hospital and Charlie was not injured. In my opinion that is absolutely true. When Tessa was meeting Valerie in the book store she completely overlooked her because she never would have thought Nick would want that type of woman.
She was the exact opposite of Tessa. Nick choose Tessa because he was attracted to her type, beautiful, blond wavy hair, strong etc. He fell in love with her and in 6 months asked her to marry him. Valerie was described as pretty in a plain sort of way, very small, looked like a boy, black straight hair, meek and timid etc.
Once Nick was away from Valerie and Charlie after Tessa kicked him out - he knew that Valerie wasn't what he wanted. He had been infatuated with her, felt pity for her and enjoyed her company because when he was with her he could feel like a hero and not have to deal with the everyday problems that faced him at home. Once away from her the shallowness of their relationship showed through. Nick wouldn't be thinking about Valerie at all. He just wanted Tessa and his children and he wanted to go home.
One little mention:
I have often wondered what Dex's reaction to Valerie would have been. Pre affair - Dex liked Nick and they were friends. I think he would have been completely shocked that Nick was attracted to her. That would have been an interesting angle.
Linda, very well said.I think you raise a very god point on DEX, and how him and nick would proceed from this point. They were clearly friends, it shows how affairs affect so many people. I think he would have been stunned if he saw Valerie, she was clearly inferior to Tessa.
I think one of the things I hated about the book was how much introspection Tessa did, and did not vocalize that in the end. Meaning, I wanted her to tell nick how badly he hurt her. Obviously he knew, but would have liked to have seen that play out.
It's funny, I read the reading guide at the end, and that also left me upset. The questions....was nick telling the truth in the end? Did he really love Valerie? Where do you see these characters in 10 years, and will the affair still haunt them?, drives home just how truly tragic this novel was.
I mean, I truly believe that one day tessa will tell her children about how hard marriage is hard, and maybe they will find out their father had an affair. Just another tragic thought...
I think emotional affairs are the worst and I do believe in forgiveness, but forgetting is a different story.
I just also wanted to add everyone is raising such good points, that I feel like a Ping pong ball. I so hate nick at times,but can sense is remorse and love for tessa at the end. So confusing!!
Firstly, please excuse the typos. It's late here and I will fix them later after some sleep. Alright, my rebuttal to Linda.
You know Linda, we disagree on a lot and that is fine. Let's agree to disagree.
You tend to rehash my thoughts in a way that comes across as if my thoughts are ANY LESS VALID than your own, especially when YOU TOO are JUST making assumptions and basing your own thoughts about Nick, and what he felt or didn't feel, on YOUR OWN SUBJECTIVE INTERPRETATIONS of what was written. What you believed happened as far as why some ppl did what they did is you're own interpretation. NOT a fact. Your thoughts are no different than my own when it comes to the validity of what was plausible. I don't give a crap if you want to believe in Nick and sympathize with him as a character and his attempts at redemption. That is your right, but it doesn't make it true OR not true, which I admit. And instead of being condescending (that how it across and maybe you don't mean it to be that way) and about how what I'm saying doesn't make sense and asserting your opinion as if it's true, be at least willing to discuss the fact that what you have to say is just how you happen to see it. Again, it doesn't make your arguments any truer than mine.
When I said when Nick told Valerie he loved her and that's all that matters, I was VALIDATING the point that at the moment when he expressed loving Valerie, AGAIN, IN THAT MOMENT, it was what he believed for himself to be true: THAT HE LOVED HER. PERIOD. During that moment, IT IS all that matters in regards to how he felt at THAT TIME. It doesn't matter if YOU think he didn't really love her bc he was telling her that he did while also breaking things off with her, and that truly loving her would have been if he'd kept those thoughts of love to himself. You said:"It's not that time that matters, it's the time he realized that he didn't love Valerie and did want Tessa that is important". And I think that's hella presumptuous considering that the man admits to his own wife that HE DOESN'T KNOW IF HE LOVES/LOVED HER. When the hell did "I DON'T KNOW" become I don't/didn't? I didn't know you were a Nick expert, Linda. I cannot imagine you knowing this man so intimately that you can speak about proof of how he felt and basically invalidating his OWN THOUGHTS! Invalidating Tessa's own observations about HER husband. You're aren't him, you aren't EG, and you are not even a reader that was privvy to his POV. So excuse me if I don't think nor believe what you have to say on that particular matter when it's FACT that it is in direct contradiction to what the character in question expressed in the book. PERIOD. Therefore, prior to his 7 week timeout to think about his actions (when Tess kicked him out) that was how he felt. As I go back in time on this thread (page 1 and 2) it was Tegan that decried my thoughts that Valerie lied to Tessa about what Nick said and defended that thought by saying she didn't lie to Tessa bc she didn't believe he actually loved her bc what she an Nick had "wasn't real". Some of you feel that he didn't really love her bc he chose to go back to Tessa, and some of you feel she lied to Tessa to spare her any more pain. The latter thought may be true, but it still pissed me off bc it basically prevented Tessa from making the informed decision she desired. And for those who maintain that Nick didn't actually love Val, then it's good she didn't confess this bc Tessa shouldn't through away her marriage for love that is allegedly not real.
AGAIN, as far as Nick expressing to Valarie that he loved her and it being proof that he really didn't, bc truly loving someone would mean basically not being as honest (YES I want a liar for a lover. SARCASM) with them as Nick himself believed he was being is bullshit. It's not a fact of him not truly loving her in that moment. The only fact is that you, LINDA, BELIEVES that it's proof that he doesn't. Just bc you believe that doesn't make it true. And, excuse me, BUT as a reader, I'm more inclined to believe what the man thought he felt as a character than you! By your logic then, telling the truth in that context would mean you always lie to those you love to spare them pain. And while that may be true to some people, it isn't for everyone. And it's irresponsible to make such blanket arguments, at least I think it is when in the middle of a debate since it's an OPINION and not one with any concrete supporting evidence. How about the thought that declaring this great love for her WAS ACTUALLY AN ACT OF LOVE since he wanted her to know she was special and truly meant something to him and wasn't just a hedonistic thrill and meaningless fling?? That he was in love with her and couldn't help his feelings for her and THAT'S why he tried carving out the exception for himself to cheat on his wife without thought or care. He actually says as much. And so, on this, I believe him more than you. He didn't just use and take advantage of her (which incidentally Valerie herself started thinking he did when he didn't talk to her for 10 days after their sex) and he wanted her to know just how deeply he felt for her even if it was enough to change his decision. How about doing the "RIGHT" thing meant not breaking up his family? It didn't mean that he didn't love her, but owed it to himself, his family, his kids, and his wife to try to resolve their issues. That's all I'm saying.
"In regard to Nick telling Tessa that Valerie didn't love him, only thought she did, how do you know he didn't believe that. I don't see that as arrogant or condescending at all, I think he was just being truthful about his feelings." Listen, I didn't and don't expect you to think Nick is arrogant in regards to this. We've established just how sympathetic you are about the guy and defend him whenever you can. Perhaps you aren't a woman who would be insulted if you found out someone was verbally diminishing your feeling, but I STAND BY what I said, his denigrating Val's feelings is arrogant and condescending. Who the eff is he to say how she felt? Furthermore, I feel Tessa feels as I do, as she was mad he was saying that Val didn't love him when she just met with the woman and read her emotions and grief for herself. He didn't assert that what he thought of her feelings in HIS opinion were untrue. He basically said Valerie didn't know what the hell she was talking about, and I say he's an ass for saying with conviction that she didn't. Furthermore, I don't believe it is exactly what he felt about Valerie. We still don't know whether or not he loved her. As I stated before, he said he didn't know. That is not an admission nor a denial. AND I think it would have helped his case if he could have told his wife that he didn't love her and only thought he did for a time when the affair was happening. And that's not what happened. Instead he asserts his inability of declaring whether or not he did, and that if wasn't in love, then it was something that was approaching, looked like and felt like love, and therefore the reason he did what he did.
"Of course cheating lovers can fall truly in love. As you say that is proven throughout time." When I brought up cheating lovers loving each other it was bc if Nick's defense of why Valerie couldn't have been in love with him, bc by his logic, mistresses and husbands don't share a life together and therefore are unable to truly be in love with one another. Additionally, YOU made the comment that you never believed Nick actually loved Valerie and a part of that reason was: "Remember, they only knew each other for 7 weeks and I don't believe that anyone can know another in that short length of time." Which, to me, implied that it was too short of time to really love a person. You say this about Nick, his inability to loving Val, and then in your previous comment you just said how we can all agree that Valarie was indeed in love with Nick. Well, your thoughts are coming across rather conflictingly to me. But, as a person who has steadfastly been in Nick's corner, anything to make him appear to be a better than I and other's have found him is how you spin it.
That is NOT what happened here. When Tessa kicked Nick out of the house and he had 7 weeks to reflect on everything he KNEW that what he wanted was Tessa. If not he most certainly would have gone back to Valerie." I never said he didn't know after confessing to Tessa and having those 7 weeks to contemplate his wrongdoings that he didn't know he wanted his wife back. Everything he does during that time that we know of signifies that. BUT, I don't think that has anything to do with loving or not loving Valerie. It's about loving his wife and family MORE. I think if Tessa had honestly decided to leave Nick, then it would be at least possible for him to plausibly consider rekindling what he had with Val (Just like what Tessa's Dad did with Diane), whether or not it lasted is another thing entirely.
"When Nick told Valerie that he still cared deeply for Tessa that is pretty much what most cheating spouses tell their girlfriends. He would hardly sit in that restaurant with Valerie and tell her he was sooo in love with his wife." YET, you think his confession of loving her was indicative that he truly didn't bc telling her that was causing her pain instead of sparing her. I don't know, if his desire was to cause more pain, why not admit to still loving his wife? I agree most cheating husbands don't admit it. It's just that to me, when he was telling her all that, it came across as he was unsure of his love for Tessa and cared more about preserving the family dynamic they built together, and sparing his children any pain from the fallout of what he and Val were doing. It may or may not be the case, it's just how it felt to me when I read it.
When I asked the question that if Tessa left Nick, would it mean she didn't love him, it was a rhetorical question. Part of the reason ppl believe he didn't really love Val is bc he chose to return to Tessa, and I don't think that is necessarily definitive of not loving someone. I just didn't get why in your case and other's it's so impossible to believe he really did think he was in love with her too., especially since he can't say either way.
"Stephanie, you are basing all of your opinions on the times that they happened. What really matters here is what Nick discovered during the 7 weeks he was separated from Tessa." So what if I am? My whole last statement revolved around matter of love, how these ppl felt and confessed to feeling about one another when they expressed it, and what it all meant to ME in the end.If that what really matter to YOU, then have at it, I'm not stopping you from feeling that way. Just don't condescend to tell me what I'm thinking is wrong or shortsighted. To me, it does fucking MATTER that it is possible and plausible to believe that his love for Tessa wasn't the main reason why he decided to break things off with Valerie. To me, IT doesn't become that until he confesses, so no, I'm not inclined to ignore those facts, even if in the end he was able to come to his senses and see that he really does still love his wife.
Sigh."She was the exact opposite of Tessa. Nick choose Tessa because he was attracted to her type, beautiful, blond wavy hair, strong etc."
He also chose Tessa bc she looked really sad. It actually seems that Nick was attracted to Tessa in the beginning bc she was vulnerable and looked like someone he wanted to save. HE SAYS "the way I felt when I was around her reminded me of the way I felt for you in the beginning...part of it was probably my ego...wanting that feeling young...of being needed and wanted".
I just don't know how it can be dismissed that there were things about Tessa that Nick was attracted to that Valerie ALSO displayed. He says it, so wouldn't it be true from his POV? And to some degree, if Valerie is going to be all these weak and undesirable things as some of you have commented about her before, she made him feel just like Tessa did, so wouldn't that mean that Tessa too is weak and/or share some of the traits you all view as undesirable?
I actually found both women to be strong AND WEAK, but in vastly different ways. If you aren't a single mother, you don't know what kind of strength it requires to pull off the job, and to do it well, which is what Valerie was doing up until she decided to get involved w/a married man and bring her son in to it. And while some don't believe she'd would have been able to leave being a paralegal to go to Harvard Law, as it's a stretch for some of you to believe it to be true, perhaps bc of your own individual privileges, I'm not sure, it isn't impossible. Doing THAT, raising a kid alone takes strength. Nick thought she was strong, but it seems that anything Nick seems to express toward Valerie has to be BS for many of you.
Just my two sense.
Sorry for the untamed version of my thoughts posted here. Sometimes I am unable to curtail what I put down to make it sound less angry and rude.
Wow Stephanie. we are just having a discussion over a book, of course we will all have different opinions.
Sarah wrote: "Wow Stephanie. we are just having a discussion over a book, of course we will all have different opinions."Did I say something that disparages this?
Stephanie wrote: "You know, This morning I went back to the book to torture myself AGAIN (I just can't stop punishing myself, I know!). I have gotten a new Kindle finally, but I have none of my notes from the old ..."
Hi Stephanie: I apologize. I certainly didn't mean to be condescending. We certainly do seem to have differing opinions about this book. Of course I am just making assumptions and anything I say is my OPINION only. There is no way that I can know facts about the characters in this book other than what EG tells us. I might interpret them differently than others but they are still only opinions.
When I say that there is no point in rehashing things that have already happened I mean there is no way that any of the things Nick did can be erased. They happened - they cant be changed and the only thing Nick can do now is try to convince Tessa that he is truly sorry and he loves her.
The majority of reviews I read (not just yours) but many, are so angry and hate Nick to such a degree that all they want is for Tessa to leave him. I'm not personally sure that would be the right thing to do.
Let's look at this.
Valerie is a single mother raising her child to the best of her ability. Valerie is the only one responsible for her situation - NOT NICK and NOT TESSA. Valerie had an affair with a jerk (Lion). She admits they didn't "bother" to use birth control. (Very irresponsible). She got pregnant. She and Lion part and Valerie chooses to raise her son alone without even letting Lion know he has a child. Charlie is being raised without a father and even worse, he doesn't even know who his father is.
IF Tessa kicked Nick out permanently, he might go back to Valerie and Charlie. Again I DON'T KNOW THAT, but maybe.
Now suddenly Tessa (through no fault of her own) is the single mother of two very young children. We have Ruby and Frankie being raised without their father in their home (although he would certainly still be in their life).
Tessa MIGHT meet someone else. IN MY OPINION I don't think that she could ever find someone that she loves as much as she does Nick. Again I stress - that is just my opinion. Even if Tessa is lucky enough to find a man that would want her what will the chances be that he will want Ruby and Frankie. We know that Ruby is a difficult child. Would another man want to live with her - who knows!! One think I truly think though is there is not another man in the world that will love Ruby and Frankie as much as Nick does. (I know he neglected them shamefully while he was seeing Valerie but he will always love them.)
In the meantime - Valerie is no longer a single mother. Charlie has a live in Daddy. Her life is great.
For the life of me I can't see how anyone would wish this on Tessa.
IF she is able to forgive Nick and he is telling her the truth about how much he loves her I think they can start again and be successful.
One point that occurred to me recently is in regard to Nick's personality (not always likeable). We agree that Nick is selfish and self centred. I think that if he truly loved Valerie and didn't want Tessa, he would GO BACK to Valerie. He has shown throughout the book that he does what he wants to do. This to me is proof that he really does want Tessa. (Just my opinion.)
Again I stress - Nick had an affair. That is devastating for a family. It can't be undone. We can argue about who loves who and who wants to live with who but we can't do ANYTHING to change events that have already happened. That is what I was trying to point out. What matters at this point is if Tessa will be able to forgive Nick. To me (and again I stress this is just my opinion) it looks like she can forgive him. I've said it many times before. I (think) that Nick and Tessa love each other and they will be able to overcome the past.
Very interesting conversion to all.I see your points Stephanie, and while I hate Nick, I side more with Linda on the interpretation (just my opinion). I think as Linda said, the fact that Nick never contacted Valerie after Tessa tossed him out, says more about his feelings for Tessa. When faced with losing her, he knows Tessa is all he wants. However, as you have said, all of his action prior to this show strong feelings for Valerie. I think overall he was a flawed man, a selfish one, and perhaps he did deserve to lose everything. I'm on the fence about him.
I have to believe EG is being honest with the reader in the end, in reference to Tessa and Nick's final conversation, and that HE was being honest. Otherwise, I'm not so sure this book would make any sense. Just my humble opinion.
One final note, I think the reason people want to rip their hair out about this book, is the final conversation with Nick and Tessa. As it is, Tessa is going to TRY and make it work with a man who thought or actually did fall in love with another woman. How did Nick feel about Valerie when he finally spoke to Tessa at that moment????The final conversation had it been written differently, could have made the reader feel better about their future. We never got a clear picture on Nick's feelings on Valerie in the end. Where is the justice in this? What woman should try and reconcile after their husband had a so called love affair. This is a man who didn't let himself fall in love with another woman, he LET it happen, as Tessa indicated. Nick was a smart guy, he obviously knew what he was doing. Imagine your husband telling you he thought or he did, fall in love with another woman. I can't think of anything more heartbreaking and makes me question a HEA.
I think the pit in our stomachs stem from the fact is we all see nick and Valerie's affair coming a mile away, and Tessa was so helpless to stop it.
Linda, you pointed out a good point, nothing can change the past, but I strongly question their future regardless of their love for one another. It's not a matter of forgiving and forgetting, it's a matter of being safe and having trust, things that are so important to a relationship.
Stephanie wrote: "Sigh."She was the exact opposite of Tessa. Nick choose Tessa because he was attracted to her type, beautiful, blond wavy hair, strong etc."
He also chose Tessa bc she looked really sad. It actua..."
I'm sorry Stephanie but again I have to say "I disagree with you."
The differences between Valerie and Tessa were numerous.
Valerie got pregnant outside of the security of marriage simply because she was irresponsible. She had a child and SHE made the decision to keep that child a secret from his father. That was dishonest and deceitful. She had no right to take matters into her own hands the way she did. Even though she knew how much Charlie wanted a father she would not tell him anything that he had a right to know about who his father was.
She was a mass of self pity because of one bad break-up with Lion. She made the decision to withdraw from everyone because she was so afraid of being hurt. She didn't have any friends.
When her child was lying in the hospital in pain and frightened she went to the cafeteria with his Dr. As Nick sat there with a wedding ring on his finger she gazed into his eyes and said to herself "I think we just shared a moment." She knew Nick was married and in my opinion she ran shamelessly after him. She got his address from the internet and drove to his house late at night to see where he lived (remember she had only known him at that time for a matter of a week or two). She was apparently jealous because she assumed the lighted upstairs window was where he would be with his wife. She phoned him so he would have her phone number.
After Charlie was released from hospital she made Nick very, very welcome in her home. She allowed Charlie to develop feelings for Nick. She didn't once tell Charlie that Nick was married and had two little children of his own. On the eve of Christmas Eve when Charlie was heart broken because he knew that Nick was gone is the first time she mentioned THAT LITTLE DETAIL to her little boy.
The night she and Nick slept together she set the scene perfectly for sex. Dinner in the dining room, candlelight, soft music (that she prepared with Nick in mind), curtains drawn. She went to bed with him!!! She instigated the trip up-stairs to her bed and she begged him to consummate the affair. I find her disgusting - SORRY!!
Don't get me wrong. Nick was just as guilty as Valerie was - actually even more so because he was married and had children. His behaviour was shameful, but I still maintain that if Valerie had indicated EVEN ONCE that she wasn't interested in a relationship with a married man he wouldn't have given her a second glance. She didn't! she practically drooled over him, staring lovingly into his eyes every chance she got. He was left with no doubt that she wanted him.
She wanted him in her bed so badly that she described her condition as - "my knees were so weak because he was standing beside me". "I wasn't just thinking about him, I was obsessing over him" just to mention a few.
When Tessa met her in the book store she was completely surprised. Tessa said she felt comforted the way Valerie was red faced, her eyes darting about in fear. I said it before and I will say it again....Valerie was a VERY weak person - IN MY OPINION!!
We have already covered her appearance - the exact opposite of Tessa.
Now on to Tessa: When Nick first saw her on the subway he WAS drawn to her because she was so beautiful and looked so sad. She was sad. She didn't want to marry Ryan. Nick did nothing disrespectful. She did nothing disrespectful. Nick told her that if she wanted to talk any time to call him. He said later that he never expected she would call. The fact that Tessa called off her wedding to Ryan shows (to me) that she was very strong. Nick and Tessa fell in love. Neither of them were married, it was a true, honest relationship. They married.
After Charlie was hurt and Tessa and her friends (Romy and April) were talking about the accident they said that they didn't like Valerie (she was a bitch) they said. Tessa, even though she had never laid eyes on Valerie defended her to her friends.
In the book store at the end of their meeting Tessa THANKED Valerie, (even though she was thanking her for lying) but Tessa didn't know that. Valerie was stunned that Tessa would thank the woman who had an affair with her husband. She said "Tessa had grace, something Valerie was born without." She thought about that for some time and decided that she wanted to have grace herself. She wanted to be the kind of woman that Tessa was - a woman who could give undeserved thanks to another. She phoned Romy and Lion.
Again I'm sorry - but that is the way I see Valerie. To me she was a very weak, self-pitying, deceitful woman.
Tessa was kind, strong, honest and friendly.
Nick did say that the way he felt about Valerie was similar to the way he felt about Tessa in the beginning. I believe he was referring to the thrill of new romance and the feeling of being wanted and needed. In the subway he saw Tessa when she was sad for a matter of minutes. The next time he saw her she was her normal, happy self. (That's the way I see it).
Nick thought Valerie was strong (and vulnerable at the same time), but Nick only saw the side of Valerie that she wanted him to see. We saw much more because as readers of her story we were let into her very thoughts. I don't think that any of us think that is BS.
Linda wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "You know, This morning I went back to the book to torture myself AGAIN (I just can't stop punishing myself, I know!). I have gotten a new Kindle finally, but I have none of my ..."
Hi Linda,
98% of what you've said in this recent posts are things I AGREE with. I also appreciate you clearing up your last comment that was addressed to me. I felt attacked, because the comment of which you were replying to was not directed at anyone specific. I was just airing my thoughts of frustrations again when I was rereading some of the passages I mentioned, and my subsequent thoughts that was born out of doing so. Then to have you reply to me in a way that made it seem like I was saying nonsense hit a nerve.
I think those in favor of Tessa breaking up with Nick, feel that way mostly based on where the book ended. At least that is how I feel. To me, he didn't pay enough penance and I am pissed off that whatever recovery they go through, and whatever actions he now puts forth to mend his marriage is left up to my imagination. Well, it's really hard to imagine someone who we saw act like such an asshole toward his wife and family for 90% of the book, make a genuine effort that will redeem himself in our eyes. One of my biggest issues is that I think EG didn't spend enough time making Tessa punish him. The breakup itself spans 7 weeks over three or four chapters. And we never get to witnessed those hard won battles of redeeming himself to change the tide of who Nick is as a person deserving of Tessa, the character we've all come to admire and pity. I have a hard time picturing his ability to make up for what he did. Why? Bc all I've read is that he cried during the confession, said he was sorry, wrote some emails and letters, texts, and left some voice mails expressing his guilt and love, all messages we never get to read to examine their contents for ourselves. Oh, and he bought her some jewelry and offered to make her eggs. Pfffft! All that on top of his bad behavior and of course we're frustrated that he gets to have a second chance. And for me, even during his talk with Tessa at the end, he had an air of superiority about the feelings that were shared/expressed during in his affair. Any man that tries to patronize a woman, and tell her how the hell she's feeling as an act of diminishing her or her emotion's value, is an enemy to me. So eff him for doing that. AND, any female who does the same to a guy can have a seat also.
Nick is Tessa's husband, so it's left up for us to trust her judgement. BUT considering all the intimate moments we get to see Nick experience with Valerie and Charlie, and the coldness toward Tessa in their present throughout the whole book, who can blame any of us for wanting Tessa to leave his sorry ass? We can't really see the good Nick who respects and loves his wife bc we haven't seen enough of it to reconcile his image in our head. Even with who he was when Tessa first takes up with him. He's not that person anymore in the book.
I still stand by that in the moment Nick tells Valerie he loves her, that he didn't love her enough to give up on his family completely, but that doesn't diminish the love he thought he had for her when he said it. His love for Tessa, and more importantly THAT love for her being the actual reason behind his decision to end things w/Val, didn't ring true for me. He very much did not seem to realize that he DID still love his wife until he had to actually look into her eyes and come to terms with what he did as he confessed to her. That's why I said, when he told Val he loved her, that was all that mattered about expressing his genuine feeling in that moment. It is true that he didn't love her so much, even during the point of telling her so, to end up leaving everything else with Tessa behind. Only Tessa wasn't a single package deal, it also included his children, the family dynamic, his home they built together...etc.
I don't think infidelity is the end all and be all in a marriage, but it really depends on so many things. In this case, again it goes back to not being granted with the opportunity to know Nick's thoughts, nor bearing witness to his worthwhile efforts to making up for his misdeeds.
But again, my original post was just airing all my grievances with Nick as a character. It was fresh on my mind to why I cannot stand him and wished Tessa would have done more to make him pay. He has a lot of work to do to endear himself to and redeem his character in my eyes. I REALLY WANT TO SEE/READ about it. I am willing to forgive and cheer him on, but I have to see the proof he's worth having it all.
Stephanie, you have articulated what I feel concerning the ending of this book. You are so right, I wanted to cheer for nick, but due to the horrible ending, EG made it to difficult. I did want Tessa to leave him, only because as you have pointed out, we seem him being tender and loving with Valerie, and cruel and distant with Tessa. How is that satisfying to the reader? We should have seen him EARN Tessa back. We all rooted for tessa and hate how we just don't know what happens in the end.I so wish EG had redeemed nick or had allowed Tessa to cut her loses and move again. People do recover from affairs all the time, but having a front seat watching nick treat tessa so horribly is beyond unsatisfying.
We all hate the ending. There is not much more we can say about that. We all think Nick got off much too easily. He certainly did. He got the fright of his life that he was going to loose everything but that wasn't enough. He should have suffered MUCH longer than he did.One thing I keep going back to is if Nick didn't want to give Valerie up - why did he?
If Nick didn't want to go back to Tessa then - why did he?
I have said several times that the WAY he broke up with Valerie, proclaiming his undying love for her indicates that he wasn't really thinking about her feelings. If he had been he would not have gone to such extremes to tell her how much he wanted her. That is just a thought though and I could be wrong. I really have no idea why he left her that way. But again - my question is - if he was so in love with her and would always be then WHY was he leaving her?? People divorce every day. Why not divorce Tessa? That's the big question to me.
On the other hand, he treated Tessa dreadfully for the past 7 weeks but I believe that things were not going well long before that. He didn't seem to be interested in straightening that out with Tessa once the affair began, but how do we really know he didn't try before that? The only things we know about are the events that EG told us in her book. What was happening in-between these events? Personally I think that it COULDN'T have been all bad or Tessa would never have put up with it.
Again the big question. If Nick was treating Tessa so badly and didn't want to be with her then WHY didn't he leave her. In my opinion there are always 2 sides to every story. Maybe Nick didn't think that Tessa was as interested in him as she used to be. I thought that EG alluded to that very thing several times.
Maybe he did try to make things better and Tessa was so involved in her own life with her kids and friends that she didn't realize that that's what Nick was doing - maybe. I don't know.
What I do know is that Nick had an affair with a woman that he admits fed his ego and made him feel wanted. I know that Nick ended that affair because he had feeling for Tessa and he couldn't give up all that they had built together.
He went back to Tessa and confessed. Tessa threw him out. He spent 7 weeks proclaiming his love for Tessa (at least that is what Tessa says he did). I would have loved to hear some of these proclamations but we weren't given that information so we can only speculate. It seems to me that they seemed to satisfy Tessa enough that she was willing to give their relationship another try, and MAYBE find it in her heart to forgive. End of Story.
There is one thought I have regarding the 10 days that Nick took deciding what he was going to do. We know that Charlie had an appointment with Nick the following week so time was running out if he was going to leave Valerie. Do you think that part of those 10 days could have been taken up with Nick finding a Doctor to replace him? I don't know how long it takes to refer a patient - would he have had to meet with the new Dr. and explain the case? Maybe the new Dr. wasn't available for a few days. I don't know - just a thought. I think that Nick had to have know that he was leaving Valerie before the 10 days were up though because he arranged the new Doctor before he met with her.
Actually those 10 days are really 9 days. Nick slept with Valerie on Friday night (the same day that Tessa went to NY) Dec. 5th. The next day Tessa came home and she and Nick argued and everything came to a head, (Dec. 6). Nick broke off with Valerie on Dec. 15th. 9 days! This is not really of any importance just something that occurred to me.
Those days bother all of us - so if there were 9 days instead of 10 and some of those days were spent getting a new doctor and some days might have been because Nick kept putting it off because he was too "chicken" to tell Valerie - then all in all it didn't take so long to decide after all. This is all just silly speculation on my part - really I have no idea what went on with Nick during those days. Since that time bothers all of us to such an extent maybe this speculation can make us feel a little better. It seems to make sense to me and COULD MAYBE have been what happened. Just an idea!
I can only end this the same way I always do. I personally think that if there is a reference to this story in a future book it will be that Nick and Tessa DO stay together happily. That would be my wish.
I just want to respond to the comment when Nick said that Valerie only THOUGHT she loved him. I think he said this, as he knew, that Valerie didn't really know the real him. He only showed her the parts he wanted her to see. She never saw him get upset,lose his temper, be impatient, fight nasty, etc .I think Nick ultimately realized that love is not always rainbows and butterflies, hence that comment.
Yes Tegan.I touched on this very thing in another recent reply when I said that 7 weeks was not nearly enough time for 2 people to know each other AND to fall in love. Those (any) 2 people would be in love with the person they see only at their BEST. After time everyone starts to give up on the pretence and their true colours begin to show. In the beginning of a relationship, as you said, they only show themselves the way they want you to see them.
I don't believe that Valerie and Nick really knew each other at all. They didn't have nearly enough time. It would have been interesting if they did stay together and we got to take a peek at them in a year or two. I have always thought that Nick would never be satisfied with Valerie in the long run. She was not his type. He got caught up in the pity of Charlie and his mother. He was looking at everything "through rose coloured glasses" as the saying goes.
Nick was a VERY difficult man. Tessa knew his moods and how to deal with them (at least she did until the affair started). I don't think Valerie would ever have been strong enough to handle him.
This story bothered me like so many others who’ve read and reread it. I think the “heart of the matter” in this book is more than about just “forgiveness.” Obviously that’s where EG was going with this; she makes that pretty clear with all the thoughts and conversations about “can you forgive someone who has cheated on you.” Another “heart of the matter” in this book, to me, is “ what is love.” At the beginning of the book, we see Tessa struggling with marrying her college sweetheart Ryan. Her struggle is so strong that she’s seeing a therapist. Then she gets on the subway and sees Nick and confesses it was “love at first sight.” They talk. He looks into her eyes. They have a “moment”. He writes his name down and tells her to call him “Nick” and gives her his phone number for her to call him in case she wants to talk things over (about her impending marriage).( Sound familiar? Seven plus years from now, after he and Tessa have been married and have 2 kids, he basically repeats this same behavior with Valerie.) Then Tessa promptly goes and breaks off the engagement with Ryan telling him she loves him but she is not “in love” with him. And Ryan asks her, what does that MEAN? Good question. Whatever it means to Tessa, she and Nick get married and for all indications it seems to be a genuine, committed relationship. She even comments that she is still in love with her husband and he is with her. But now, 7 years into the marriage we get to see the cracks in the foundation. Now I really believe that Tessa is committed to Nick and to their marriage. And this “in love” phenomena which to me is just those overwhelming feelings of attraction, lust, passion, etc. has turned into a deeper, all-consuming love for her husband with support, commitment, acceptance, etc. I’m not so sure this has happened with Nick. Let’s face it: He has lost “that loving feeling” (as the song says) for Tessa. We all know the things he does (belittles her, nasty “digs” at her, no attempts to communicate with her, make-up sex with her which in no way resembles “making love”, etc. ) So, because his love is more based on “feelings” and “attraction” and what he’s “getting out of it”, instead of a commitment to “love, honor, and cherish, forsaking all others…” he finds himself giving in to an “attraction”, a “spark”, a “chemical attraction” to another woman. He just doesn’t get it. He’s all about self-satisfaction, ego, etc. If he was truly committed to Tessa and his children, he’d understand that when you find yourself “attracted” to someone else (which happens in probably all marriages) you walk away, you turn from it, you don’t encourage it. Instead we see him act on his attraction to Valerie—when he asks her to go have coffee in the hospital’s cafeteria to discuss Charlie’s surgery—he has crossed the line. All he was supposed to do was step out into the hallway and discuss the surgery and then go home where his wife and her family were waiting for him to go out to dinner. But no, from here on we see the progression—the call me “Nick”; giving her his phone number so she can call him about anything, any time ( what doctor, a professional, would ever do something like this?) ,hanging out late at night talking to her in Charlie’s room, etc. And then we see needy, lonely Valerie fall right in line—giving into the attraction she feels for him in spite of the fact that he’s married. So I think Tessa understands true, abiding love; Nick doesn’t; and Valerie definitely doesn’ t have a clue. This is why I think “what is love” is a second “heart of the matter “ in this book. True love within marriage is about commitment; it is a conscientious decision that you are going to be with that person, respect that person, be faithful to that person, no matter what; it is not just a feeling or an emotion.
A third “heart of the matter” for me in this book is that a marital affair—no matter what the “reasons” or “causes”—is a destructive, demeaning, debilitating, and demoralizing thing—for everyone involved: the cheater, the person they are cheating with, the person cheated on, innocent children, and even other family members. We see this so clearly in this story. That’s why I think most readers are so angry with Nick and Valerie for the most part. And EG doesn’t help matters much: I felt like the ending was quickly “wrapped up” with a big bow on top because she had spent all the time on developing the story and then, after all, the book can only be so long, she just wraps this up quickly and leaves everything unresolved. Maybe she did this deliberately, or maybe she just didn’t know how to get out of this sad tale. Whatever the reason, whether she is a true mastermind or this is purely by accident, she has managed to create a story that has a lot of readers pining for more, obsessed with these characters and whether or not Tessa and Nick will make it; wondering if Nick has finally grown up and learned about commitment in marriage, and at what great cost; and, what happens to Valerie and Charlie. If she writes a sequel to this story, I think she will be hard pressed to tell a story that will satisfy all readers. Maybe she should just leave it alone and let the readers in their own imaginations decide how this tale really ends. I know I certainly have my own ideas about it!
A third “heart of the matter” for me in this book is that a marital affair—no matter what the “reasons” or “causes”—is a destructive, demeaning, debilitating, and demoralizing thing—for everyone involved: the cheater, the person they are cheating with, the person cheated on, innocent children, and even other family members. We see this so clearly in this story. That’s why I think most readers are so angry with Nick and Valerie for the most part. And EG doesn’t help matters much: I felt like the ending was quickly “wrapped up” with a big bow on top because she had spent all the time on developing the story and then, after all, the book can only be so long, she just wraps this up quickly and leaves everything unresolved. Maybe she did this deliberately, or maybe she just didn’t know how to get out of this sad tale. Whatever the reason, whether she is a true mastermind or this is purely by accident, she has managed to create a story that has a lot of readers pining for more, obsessed with these characters and whether or not Tessa and Nick will make it; wondering if Nick has finally grown up and learned about commitment in marriage, and at what great cost; and, what happens to Valerie and Charlie. If she writes a sequel to this story, I think she will be hard pressed to tell a story that will satisfy all readers. Maybe she should just leave it alone and let the readers in their own imaginations decide how this tale really ends. I know I certainly have my own ideas about it!
Excellent post Debbie!! What is your take on how this tale ends???
Reasons why I don’t think Nick and Tessa will make it:
1. The reason why Tessa took Nick back so soon is because she’s so desperately in love with him and she has believed (or desperately wants to believe) his explanations and his remorse. But, during that time period when she had kicked him out, she wavered between anger and grief emotionally and really had not given a lot of thought to the ins and outs of the affair. I think as time goes on, a lot of thoughts and remembrances and discoveries will come to the forefront and change her perspective on the whole event.
2. I think if she ever found out what transpired during Nick’s breakup with Valerie, it would be a deal breaker for her. He tells Valerie he loves her and is afraid he’ll always love her; he wants to make love to her that very moment if he could; he tells her all the things he loves about her; and he never once tells her that he still loves his wife—only that he cares deeply for her and respects her. Basically he tells Valerie, I’m in love with you, but I’ve tried to look at it from every angle, and I just can’t leave my family. I think he confessed his love to Valerie because that’s truly how he felt and he didn’t want her to think she had been just a cheap thrill; but the consequence of their affair is that he’d lose his family and, he just wasn’t prepared to do that. Now, I doubt seriously that Tessa would ever be privy to this information (not unless it somehow came out in a counseling situation which they may possibly have), but if she did it would be so hurtful to her that I don’t think she could move past it. Remember, before she even knew the details, she believed her husband to be in love with someone else.
3. I believe those 10 days (from the time she confronted him when she came back early from NY to the time he met Valerie and broke up with her and then confessed to Tessa what he’d done) will come back to haunt her. She’ll wonder, if he really loves me, then why did it take him 10 days to decide to break it off with Valerie. If he really wanted to be with me, why didn’t he immediately end things with her. As readers, we know he wasn’t seeing Valerie during those 10 days. But, Tessa doesn’t know this. And she’s miserable during this time; and she sees that Nick is miserable; and she knows that Nick is in love with Valerie Anderson with “a deep-to-the-bone certainty that comes with the impending loss of something you desperately don’t want to lose.”
4. Okay, so they are going to try to make a go of it. There’s one important issue that will have to be discussed before they can ever have any kind of intimacy between them. Did Nick practice safe sex with Valerie? If he did, then, great—yes it’ll be awkward bringing it up but it must be done. But what if he hadn’t. We already know that Valerie is not the most reliable in this arena (hence she conceived Charlie). So what if they were so caught up in the moment that they got lax. Now they’ve got to deal with the matter of getting tested for STDs. And there’s the issue of HPV for which there is no testing for men to see if they carry the virus. What a humiliating mess this would be for them. And, then there would be the issue of what if Valerie had gotten pregnant. Wow, wouldn’t that be the death knell on their marriage. And, speaking of the “once” that he is so quick to point out—he and Valerie supposedly had sex only once—he was planning on going back the next night to continue having sex with her. Won’t this fact finally dawn on Tessa at some point. Yea, you only did it “once,” but big deal, you were planning on a repeat performance!
5. Speaking of intimacy, Tessa and Nick have not had sex since that horrible “make-up sex” back in October. A lot has happened since then. And at some point, if they are going to have a real marriage this has to be rekindled. This will be extremely difficult for her as it would be for any woman who has been cheated on. It’s going to take time, lots of time, and I wonder if Nick will be patient enough to wait. She’ll be assailed by questions: Is he comparing me to her; is he thinking about her; do I measure up to her---to name a few.
6. If Tessa ever finds out about Halloween-that Nick ditched his own kids to dress in costume (something he’s never done for his own kids) and spent it with another child, she’ll be crushed. Just what did he do with that Darth Vadar costume? Is it in the trunk of his car where Tessa might find it? Or maybe she’ll run across the receipt for it, and, she’ll remember how he hated being dragged through Target getting his own kids their costumes, yet, he went out and bought himself one for another child! And what about the coin he gave Charlie. If she ever found out about that it would be the ultimate betrayal because that was something important to Nick that was supposed to go to his own children. Maybe she’ll stumble upon the empty box it was always kept in and will ask Nick about it. If she finds out about these things then the betrayal will not be just about her and Nick, it’ll be about their children. Could she forgive him for that?
7. And, speaking of receipts, what happens when she sees these charges for wine, take-out, video rentals, etc. on their American Express bill that she knows he spent on Valerie and Charlie. She’ll find the receipt from Antonios when he came home so apologetic and wreaking of garlic. She’ll know from the total that he wasn’t alone. She’ll know who he had been with. It’ll be like salt in the wound because she’ll remember how badly her treated her that night. And here he has been, spending all this money on another woman and her son, when he didn’t even want her to go shopping in NY!
These are just some of the issues she’ll possibly be faced with. Of course, there’s the problem of running into Valerie and/or Charlie. And, where’s Ruby going to go to school now? She can’t possibly go to Longmere now because Charlie goes there. She’d have to be resentful of that: “Well Nick if you hadn’t had the affair with her, our daughter would be going to the best private school for her!” Oh, and what happens now when he really does have to work late? Won’t there be a part of her that will wonder, at least for a while, is he really at work? And think of the awkwardness when he’s around her family. In fact, Dex is probably furious with him. The list could go on and on.
No, it will be extremely difficult to make their marriage work. It’s not impossible. I just can’t help but wonder, though, if Nick has it in him to be patient, understanding, supportive—because we sure haven’t seen those qualities in him before!
1. The reason why Tessa took Nick back so soon is because she’s so desperately in love with him and she has believed (or desperately wants to believe) his explanations and his remorse. But, during that time period when she had kicked him out, she wavered between anger and grief emotionally and really had not given a lot of thought to the ins and outs of the affair. I think as time goes on, a lot of thoughts and remembrances and discoveries will come to the forefront and change her perspective on the whole event.
2. I think if she ever found out what transpired during Nick’s breakup with Valerie, it would be a deal breaker for her. He tells Valerie he loves her and is afraid he’ll always love her; he wants to make love to her that very moment if he could; he tells her all the things he loves about her; and he never once tells her that he still loves his wife—only that he cares deeply for her and respects her. Basically he tells Valerie, I’m in love with you, but I’ve tried to look at it from every angle, and I just can’t leave my family. I think he confessed his love to Valerie because that’s truly how he felt and he didn’t want her to think she had been just a cheap thrill; but the consequence of their affair is that he’d lose his family and, he just wasn’t prepared to do that. Now, I doubt seriously that Tessa would ever be privy to this information (not unless it somehow came out in a counseling situation which they may possibly have), but if she did it would be so hurtful to her that I don’t think she could move past it. Remember, before she even knew the details, she believed her husband to be in love with someone else.
3. I believe those 10 days (from the time she confronted him when she came back early from NY to the time he met Valerie and broke up with her and then confessed to Tessa what he’d done) will come back to haunt her. She’ll wonder, if he really loves me, then why did it take him 10 days to decide to break it off with Valerie. If he really wanted to be with me, why didn’t he immediately end things with her. As readers, we know he wasn’t seeing Valerie during those 10 days. But, Tessa doesn’t know this. And she’s miserable during this time; and she sees that Nick is miserable; and she knows that Nick is in love with Valerie Anderson with “a deep-to-the-bone certainty that comes with the impending loss of something you desperately don’t want to lose.”
4. Okay, so they are going to try to make a go of it. There’s one important issue that will have to be discussed before they can ever have any kind of intimacy between them. Did Nick practice safe sex with Valerie? If he did, then, great—yes it’ll be awkward bringing it up but it must be done. But what if he hadn’t. We already know that Valerie is not the most reliable in this arena (hence she conceived Charlie). So what if they were so caught up in the moment that they got lax. Now they’ve got to deal with the matter of getting tested for STDs. And there’s the issue of HPV for which there is no testing for men to see if they carry the virus. What a humiliating mess this would be for them. And, then there would be the issue of what if Valerie had gotten pregnant. Wow, wouldn’t that be the death knell on their marriage. And, speaking of the “once” that he is so quick to point out—he and Valerie supposedly had sex only once—he was planning on going back the next night to continue having sex with her. Won’t this fact finally dawn on Tessa at some point. Yea, you only did it “once,” but big deal, you were planning on a repeat performance!
5. Speaking of intimacy, Tessa and Nick have not had sex since that horrible “make-up sex” back in October. A lot has happened since then. And at some point, if they are going to have a real marriage this has to be rekindled. This will be extremely difficult for her as it would be for any woman who has been cheated on. It’s going to take time, lots of time, and I wonder if Nick will be patient enough to wait. She’ll be assailed by questions: Is he comparing me to her; is he thinking about her; do I measure up to her---to name a few.
6. If Tessa ever finds out about Halloween-that Nick ditched his own kids to dress in costume (something he’s never done for his own kids) and spent it with another child, she’ll be crushed. Just what did he do with that Darth Vadar costume? Is it in the trunk of his car where Tessa might find it? Or maybe she’ll run across the receipt for it, and, she’ll remember how he hated being dragged through Target getting his own kids their costumes, yet, he went out and bought himself one for another child! And what about the coin he gave Charlie. If she ever found out about that it would be the ultimate betrayal because that was something important to Nick that was supposed to go to his own children. Maybe she’ll stumble upon the empty box it was always kept in and will ask Nick about it. If she finds out about these things then the betrayal will not be just about her and Nick, it’ll be about their children. Could she forgive him for that?
7. And, speaking of receipts, what happens when she sees these charges for wine, take-out, video rentals, etc. on their American Express bill that she knows he spent on Valerie and Charlie. She’ll find the receipt from Antonios when he came home so apologetic and wreaking of garlic. She’ll know from the total that he wasn’t alone. She’ll know who he had been with. It’ll be like salt in the wound because she’ll remember how badly her treated her that night. And here he has been, spending all this money on another woman and her son, when he didn’t even want her to go shopping in NY!
These are just some of the issues she’ll possibly be faced with. Of course, there’s the problem of running into Valerie and/or Charlie. And, where’s Ruby going to go to school now? She can’t possibly go to Longmere now because Charlie goes there. She’d have to be resentful of that: “Well Nick if you hadn’t had the affair with her, our daughter would be going to the best private school for her!” Oh, and what happens now when he really does have to work late? Won’t there be a part of her that will wonder, at least for a while, is he really at work? And think of the awkwardness when he’s around her family. In fact, Dex is probably furious with him. The list could go on and on.
No, it will be extremely difficult to make their marriage work. It’s not impossible. I just can’t help but wonder, though, if Nick has it in him to be patient, understanding, supportive—because we sure haven’t seen those qualities in him before!
Wow Debbie, I think you may be right. You reopened my eyes to a lot of things. My heart broke for Tessa, I just wanted her to find a guy to TRULY love her and the kids. Nick really did not deserve them, regardless of the fact that I do believe he loved Tessa in the end.
Yea, Tegan, I think maybe he realized in the end that he truly loved Tessa. That's why what he did was just so stupid and careless. Of course, if I could write the sequel, I'd definitely find Tessa someone who would love her the way she should be loved! I don't know if people can really change. I see Nick as remorseful but will he really change his basic personality-I don't think he can. I think when he first met Valerie and he said: "My name is Nick Russo...And I am one of the leading pediatric plastic surgeons in the world"--that we were given the inside scoop of his true character! Who talks like that? I found myself chuckling over it.
Yea, I have to agree, I don't think he deserved them. So sad! And it saddened me that Tessa wanted to blame herself too for what happened. Yea, she had her faults; but, really, did she deserve her husband cheating on her? No I don't think so. It all goes back to an earlier comment I made-when you are married and you find yourself attracted to someone else--you RUN!
Yea, I have to agree, I don't think he deserved them. So sad! And it saddened me that Tessa wanted to blame herself too for what happened. Yea, she had her faults; but, really, did she deserve her husband cheating on her? No I don't think so. It all goes back to an earlier comment I made-when you are married and you find yourself attracted to someone else--you RUN!
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My thought on the current discussion:
"He was a jerk. Plain and simple. He did deserve to loose everything. The way he treated Tessa and the kids is disgusting." - ..."
Love every bit of this post. I don't know what changed, Linda, but I am so happy that you have now come to seeing just how pathetic Nick was an undeserving of Tessa. I kind of feel like our old battles were that you were too sympathetic to him. Just how I saw it, but I know I could be wrong.
"The problems between Nick and Tessa were all so trivial they could have been rectified if they had simply TALKED about them to each other." EXACTLY. But instead, when his wife tried to talk about their problems, he shut her down--made her feel like she was a trouble maker and inadequate; made her feel crazy and meddlesome when they HAD LEGITIMATE PROBLEMS! It's so manipulative, and bc we know just how much grief Tessa was giving herself in her thoughts, it just makes me even more disgusted with him.
He was such and ASSHOLE! God! I'm just so angry he was not made to suffer anymore than he did. He should have also been made to experience the humiliation he put Tessa through. I wished she had gone out on a date with some attractive man, not with the intention of starting a relationship, but with having a new friend in her life that could get their associates talking. Like, Tessa is too woman for a tit for tat revenge scheme, but she should be able to feel like she's still desirable and interesting. Nick should have been made to experience the loss of her (seemingly) giving her time and attention to someone fit to be his replacement. They should have gone to Antonio's together for all of Wellesly and Dr. Russo's hospital peers to see. F-cker! His disrespect to Tessa and their marriage for sure isn't the worst, but it was damn near bad enough! Hanging out with your fucking mistress at work and out in public for your neighbors to see? Bastard!
Does that make me Petty? I don't know, I'd like to think it makes me more human--having a desire to see Karma play out.