To friend, or not to friend, I guess that's the question.

[T.M.]

So I have a habit of friending the nice people that add my book to their to-read lists. I'm curious if this is a good thing to be doing. Does it intimidate the potential readers, or make them more likely to actually read your book? What are your thoughts?

[[deleted user]]

I think the answer is both yes and no. As an author, I enjoy talking with my readers to gain their perspective, to learn. Some readers I've met are a little shy about reaching out (as if a writer is someone more special than they are) but when I approach them they seem to enjoy the contact. Other readers prefer to remain anonymous and I get the sense they prefer that I don't invade their space.

[C.]

I just published so my book isn't very visible yet. The only people who ever look at it are the people I friend via Twitter. I think the internet is so anti-personal that I wouldn't mind if the author added me. I got REALLY excited when Meg Cabot followed me on Twitter even though she follows literally everyone who follows her. I even took a screen shot. SO, I would say I wouldn't mind if the author added me. I would probably like it.

[Elizabeth]

As a reader, I love it when an author interacts with me. I recently did a couple of reviews on my blog and the authors got in touch to say thanks and they followed me on Twitter. It made my day!

[Dee]

Between writing and trying to promote , I have cut back on the social networking thing. I feel guilty about friending people when I'll really only have time to drop a note maybe once a week. Now I'm getting ready for a new release, and I've been told I should let all my 'friends' know, so now I'd feel REALLY guilty. Why can't we ALL just be friends:(

[Pauline]

As a reader, I find it very slightly creepy if an author tries to 'friend' me, especially if it's just because I showed an interest in their book. I'm always suspicious of people who have hundreds (or even thousands) of friends anyway - that's a strange definition of 'friend'.

It's a different matter if I've posted a review. A polite private message first, and then a friend request - that's fine. And authors please note - if I liked book 1 of your trilogy, I'd love you to tell me when book 2 is out!

[Thayer]

I rarely, rarely solicit a friend status on any network, but if someone asks, I just friend back. It may be a request because the person liked a comment, perhaps even liked a blog, so it is more in the spirit of an appreciative gesture that they ask. On the other hand, it may only be a gathering of names for the sake of numbers. Again, I will usually just friend back.

On one network that I recently joined, a lot of "follow me" requests come through for blogs that were just copy and pasted solicitations to anyone that was new. That was weird.

[Sadie]

Unless I think it is just promotional/advertorial in some fashion I generally friend back anyone who friends me (when did that become a verb anyway). I love it when readers do this. I really like the interaction. But under normal circumstances I would not request a reader friend me. I would be afraid that if they haven't read the book yet they may feel I am hovering over their profile waiting for a review. I imagine this to be an uncomfortable feeling. Being so aware that the writer will be reading the review might also make them feel that they can't be genuine in their review, should they write one.