☀Ignite Your Creativity☀ discussion
note: This topic has been closed to new comments.
Archives
>
MM1
Entry: 20/3/12 18:37I don't want to be immortal.
So many people will wonder why. Why would I want to age? Why would I want to die?
It's not that.
It's that I don't want to stay the same while everything around me changes.
I don't want to watch everything around me die. Everything, everyone I love.
Is it that hard to believe?
I want, in fifty years, to be wrinkly, and old, and tired. I want to be surrounded with children and grandchildren listening to me telling stories about me as a foolish teenager, and then a foolish young adult, and then a foolish adult, and then a foolish mother, and finally- a foolish grandmother. I want to screw up but know that even if someone leaves me, eventually I'll meet them again. I don't want to live of everyone around me is dead.
No. The last thing I want to be is immortal.
---
It's gonna start, soon.
I can do this. I can do this. I can stand in front of six hundred people and sing. I can DO THIS.
But who am I kidding? I can't do this! It's already happening. Something will go wrong, I know it will. I'll lose my voice. The mic will stop working. The guitarist will be sick. I'll forget my lines and stand there, embarrassed, on stage, alone, with the spotlight on me. I'll go to the bathroom and miss my performance.
Something's about to go terribly wrong.
I look at the audience, trying to find my parents. Maybe if I can find Dad, he'll give me a smile and then I'll know it'll be alright. Or one of my friends- Haggai'll crack a joke to ease the tension, and Guy will remind me that all that matters it that my friends know how good I am, and Ariel will just be silent, like always, send me a shy smile and then turn away. He's always like that. And Tamar will tell me that it doesn't matter anyway, that I should just focus on how hard the math test tomorrow is gonna be, and try and get through this. And Maya will remind me of Will, or Buffy, or Tessa, or Spike or some other character we both love and encourage me to act like I know they will.
But I can't find my parents, and I can't find my friends. And it's too late anyway. Curtains up. It's show time.
Entry: 20/3/12 23:04I guess it's over now. I survived.
I guess I can cry now. Everyone's alive.
I guess I can hurt now. Not everyone remembers why.
I guess that I've changed now. All I've got left is to live my life.
Entry: 21/3/12 15:01Is it silly? Yes.
But do I still want to kill myself over the 80 or less I'm gonna get? Yes.
Entry: 27/3/12 20:16Oh, is my life a mess or what?
You can always tell, by the state of my hair.
Entry: 29/3/11 5:26I stayed up all night. I wish I knew why. I didn't fall asleep. I was up till past midnight on my computer, then read. Usually I would've crashed. But I had a feeling I'd have nightmares. So I didn't.
I'm starving, of course. But I don't want to EAT. I can't get that under control, but I've got to. If I don't I'm gonna starve every day till break.
Gonna go back to my books now, I guess.
Entry: 29/3/11 6:11When I told them, they laughed.
Well, not really. But they were skeptical. How can you be in love with someone you've never seen? Someone that isn't even real?
At the time, I didn't have an answer. But I do now.
You don't love someone because of what he looks like, right? You love someone because of who they ARE. And how can you not fall in love with him. Smart, handsome(apparently), talented, and he appreciates art, music, poetry. I fell in love with him through the words.
And so what if he's fictional? Them brooding over some celeb, or some guy from a TV show or movie, isn't any different.
So, yes, I fell in love with a character from a book, a character I've never seen.
So what? Let me brood in piece. I leave you be when you brood.
ur an awesome person pirl. dont be so down <3 xoxo
Entry: 4/4/12 5:59Sometimes I get nightmares.
I never wake up screaming or shaking. I'm just suddenly awake, the memory of last night's images echoing in my head.
My subconscious can be very creative.
And mean.
I didn't know those kind of thoughts exist in me!
As funny as it is, the dream took place in my current school but had many students from my old one. I'm guessing that's from seeing three girls from that school yesterday afternoon-evening. There were also girls from this school though.
This is the first time I have this nightmare. Some parts of are repetitive and some are just one-time mares. And they're all downright terrifying.
In one part of the dream, I'm trying to find the library but know I'm looking in the wrong place. I end up meeting the vampire Voldemort, eating a feast of dead meat near the science labs- or at least where they're supposed to be, as I never actually looked at them. I tried to ask for directions for the library, but all Voldemort did was growl and try to bite me. I floated down and ran like hell- straight into a gym class somewhere I've never seen before. Nobody was there yet, and I was sitting down. A girl from this class came in and insisted on teaching me a dance. When I fell down gracefully my gym teacher came in and told us, "very nice, we'll be working on a dance for that song as well." The room started filling up. I don't remember much, just that when I got out I had to go to find the library. So harry potter dispatched Ron and Hermione and headed up the tower- just to meet Voldemort again. He was almost finished with the feast and was red- covered with animal blood. His blue skin was like a Native American's now. I floated up to him again and he smiled in the utmost creepy way and leaned forward to bite me.
I ran and stumbled, waking up calmly.
Madi wrote: "ur an awesome person pirl. dont be so down <3 xoxo"Thanks:)
I know I'm awesome. I still can't shake the feeling of being alone.
Covered with animal blood vampire Voldemort.
Even worse... Don't worry, I won't blame you if I start having nightmares of animal blood vampire Voldemort attacking me. :)
He couldn't actually get to me. That was the scariest part. He was holding bones of some animal in his hand and he couldn't get to me without finishing his meal. I knew it, but when he returned to his meal, I was still terrified.
Entry: 4/4/12 10:00I get that I don't always tell the truth, but it hurts when you assume I always lie.
Entry: 10/4/12 11:52It happened again. Why is it always me? Why do they always pick in me?
I stood strong. And for once, I wasn't alone.
But I'm not choking because I feel loved. I'm choking because I want it to STOP. I don't understand why so many kids have the need to bring other people down, to bully them... In the end, it's their life that's ruined, and they bullies don't even realize it.
I hate it.
http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/8...
Try listening to Taylor Swift's "Mean". I listen to that whenever i feel pushed around
I love that song. But I didn't really feel pushed over. I was upset that there's never anything to be done.
maybe u shud talk to an adult or teacher if ur that upset
just trying to help out a friend :)
Entry: 30/4/12So this guy came to school today.
Our teacher invited him. Instead of dividing into boys and girls and talking about our feelings growing into teenagers, we spent our Education class sitting in our classroom and seeing short films.
Needless to say, we were excited and happy.
The guy started by saying he'd spent half of his life abroad. When he came back to Israel in 2005, after living in California and Boston, he was surprised - but it was good surprise.
Because Israel had gone through some major changes. The lifestyle much fancier and much more common, cities like Modiin were built, and we had progressed.
Israel is number one in the world in medical discoveries. It also has the seven major Nobel prizes, and all in all 22% of all Nobel prizes, and is one of the most advanced countries in the world, technology wise and otherwise. Israel even invented the disc-on-key.
And then there's the Middle East Conflict. Even if you ignore the fact that Israel isn't all of it, though it is part of it, people believe they know everything about the Palestinians, when they usually know nothing. For example, people see a picture of soldiers examining an ambulance at a checkpoint. An old lady is infront of it, looking sick and weak. Crime against humanity, right? But you're forgetting why they have to stop the ambulance in the first place. Palestinian extremists have in fact used ambulances in order to get explosives through the border. They have killed.
And then there's the Wall, the same one I see everytime I go to school. Why do you think it's there? In order to keep them in? No! It's there in order to protect us. I'm not saying every Arab is evil. I had an Arab friend for a while(we didn't stay in touch once I stopped seeing her regularly). I'm saying that the Arabs who are are also very dangerous, and our country has the right to defend itself and its population from harm.
I won't even mention Coldplay and the crime they committed against all Jews and Israel in particular a while back.
Before I finish my entry, I'd like to smash a few myths that apparently exist about Israel:
1.ISRAEL IS HUGE
This so wrong it's hilarious. Israel is tiny, with Italy being 13 times bigger than it, Germany times 16, Alaska time 80 and India times 150.
2. ISRAEL IS A DESERT
Not true. Israel is the only country in the whole world which has a desert, snow mountains, green mountains, seas and the lowest place on earth(!) within 22,145 squared kilometers.
3. ISRAEL IS A RELIGIOUS COUNTRY
Not true. Less than 29% consider themselves religious in Israel one way or the other. (and yeah, I'm part of the minority. Deal with it)
4. ISRAEL IS A DICTATORSHIP RUN BY ITS ARMY
NOT true. Like, at all. Israel is the only real democracy in the Middle East and our army's called "Israel Defense Forces" for a reason. It's meant to defend only, and is one of the strongest and best armies in the world.
5. ON ISRAEL THEY RIDE CAMELS FOR TRANSPORTATION
I didn't believe it when I heard, because it's so ridiculous. Even if I couldn't see the highway out of my window, numbers can prove it: in Israel there are 17,900 kilometers of road, and on them travel no less than 2,300,000 vehicles, 78% of them private vehicles. Two of them owned by my family.
6. IN ISRAEL WOMEN WEAR KAFFIYEHS OR SCARVES (on their heads)
Not true. Israel is now in fact considered a fashion capitol, just like London, Paris and New York. Our fashion designers are famous around the world and our models star on fashion magazine covers worldwide.
And if we got there already, so do Israeli actors and actresses(especially one I particularly like named Alona Tal http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alona_Tal) and directors, as well as artists and writers etc..
7. BECAUSE OF THE SETTLEMENTS(lack of a better word) THERE ISN'T PEACE
Not true. The problem is that Israel EXISTS. In the Palestinian eye, Jerusalem and Tel-Aviv are settlements as well.
8. MILLIONS OF REFUGES AREN'T ALOUD TO RE-ENTER ISRAEL
Not true. When the British still ruled here, they urged Jews and Arabs to leave the mixed cities, but where the Jews refused, the Arabs agreed and left. Even though there are 320,000 (and only 320,000) Arab refuges, somehow people keep forgetting to mention there are 820,000 Jewish refuges from Arab countries in the Middle East.
Then there's how we only eat humus and pitta bread, when I in fact haven't had a pitta in almost a year cuz it's bad for my diet; Israel doesn't really want peace, which is the most ridiculous thing I've heard since the car thing; Israel is a primitive country(so not true, so, so, so not true); and Palestine has always been Arab, when it in fact, has never been Arab, even if the most common language was Arabic.
And finally, I'd like you to send this on. Because my country and me have nothing to do with each other and yet everything to do with each other, and people can't keep shouting at our ambassadors. Learn to learn or keep quiet.
this is really interesting Pirl. I loved learning about ur country :D
isreal has the best pilots in the world
U.S.A could still beat them cus we have more
more doesnt nescasarily mean better
except when it comes to the military
Entry: 30/4/12 18:04A few more words.
I just have to say that together with the research and the actual typing, it took me over an hour to write the previous post.
Now that I finished with the numbers, I'd like to tell you what Israel is for ME.
For me, Israel is stone.
Praying for rain.
Trying to do what's right. Trying to get what we deserve.
Loving my country, willing to fight for it.
Crying with my country. Crying when we got Gilad Shalit back, because he was not only the child of two anymore, but of all of us.
It's smiling at the rain but hiding from it. It's grimacing at the HOT sun but longing for it constantly.
It's imperfection when it's perfect.
It's brilliant young and old minds working together to save the world. It's people yelling at you on the street because you didn't recycle.
It's all these faces that look nothing alike but are one people.
It's the rudeness and the caring.
It's people pushing behind me at the line.
It's people buying bottled water even though it's exactly the same as the tap water, it just says Eyn Gedi on it.
It's 7 million people(and more0 standing still twice a year, remembering other people's pain and loss.
It's one day when everyone's dressed in white, trying to be pure and to forgive and forget.
It's every yard in Israel having a barbecue during Independence Day, because that's what we do.
It's walking in a mall with some of your friends and everything's in English.
And it's the food.
And it's Grade Eight 2, sitting together in front of a movie they've all seen before yet concentrated and quiet, because everybody else wants to watch.
And it's sandals.
Ace wrote: "except when it comes to the military"Israel has a better military than the US my friend... or whatever.
good despription pirl
@ Ace, there are safety in numbers i guess
@ Ace, there are safety in numbers i guess
Madi (TeamTamani4Ever!!!) wrote: "good despription pirl@ Ace, there are safety in numbers i guess"
Thanks.
It's ESPECIALLY the people pushing behind me in the line.
I should point that out.
i'm not even going to comment cus i know that you'll disagree
It doesn't help that I know more than you about both countries.
ace! BE NICE.
maybe... i love to study contries tho
maybe... i love to study contries tho
@ace Why can't you be nice and polite, like me?@madi I'd love to tell you info, I'll tell you so much you'd wish I never did
@ pirl. i know random facts about random countries. id probably bore u. tell me urs
like the isralies beat the crud out of the egyptians
@ace Whaaaaa....@Madi Um, a lot of Israelies consider the Israeli people rude and arrogant.
This topic has been frozen by the moderator. No new comments can be posted.
I actually HAVE a blog. I dunno if it will be parallel or not, but there's a link on my page to those who want to read it... :)
----
I just wanted to say hello.
You don't know me. Maybe a little, from what I've told you myself.
I'm 14. My real name shall remain hidden, though many detail on me are hidden within my different RP groups. I have been many things throughout my short life, but I have always been a writer at my core.
I am tall, with curly, frizzy brown hair. It has red, bronze and purple highlights that you can see best in the sun. My skin is pale, and I have absolutely NO idea where I got it from. My fingers are short and chubby, and I'm a little chubby myself, though I'm on a diet. I keep breaking and swallowing chocolate like crazy. My eyes are a kind of brown you can't really define- I like saying it's a chocolate brown, but it has some red in it. They're also very small, but almond shaped. I wear glasses, because I couldn't manage putting contacts in. I believe my lips are the most attractive thing about me- they have the perfect shape, in my eyes.
I'm always smiling, but if you ever look deep enough, you see that I'm sad. I've never had a real friend, besides my books. I tell everyone my secrets, yet no one seems to take them- or me- seriously.
I'm lighthearted and lie to my parents constantly. I cry sometimes, late at night, but I don't really know why.
I talk a lot without saying anything important, and then I slip something so deep in that no one seems to understand it.
My sense of humor is very odd and has many sides to it.
I draw, take pictures, sing and play chords on the piano. I like solving riddles, the kind that make you think about the meaning behind the words. I love music. I hate PE and any kind of physical activity more than anything.
I spend most of my time these days wasting it.
There is so much about me people just choose to ignore. They know it all, as I keep nothing hidden, but that just makes then ignore it all. You know what they say- the best hiding place is in plain sight.
My world can flip over twice, and I will stand tall. I always manage to, somehow.
Anyway.
Hello.