☀Ignite Your Creativity☀ discussion
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message 251:
by
Barbara
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Jun 13, 2012 09:13AM
I figured the 20th was the end of the school year. But I wasn't positive. I always looked forward to the end of a school year.
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I live away from my friends, so I won't see them this summer.
Entry: 14/6/12This is my last Thursday.
There isn't anything particularly special about Thursdays. I've always liked them, though. Maybe because it's the day nothing happens in. There's that taste of the weekend's coming! in the air, but it isn't so strong that it simply takes over everything else. It's a quiet day, no driving around.
This is my last Thursday, and I'm breaking all my rules.
It wasn't calm, of peaceful; it wasn't the taste of weekend in the air, but the taste of summer; and tonight, there's going to be driving around.
This is my last Thursday.
Good luck, Ofir. Showtime. Break a leg. You can do this.
Entry: 15/6/12 13:20Let this lead me wherever it will.
-
I don't always get it.
I'm not the smartest. People are always shocked to find this out because I am smart, but they don't seem to get that the fact that I'm louder doesn't mean I
m cleverer. There are so many people better than me. But only the strong survive. And in high school, the louder, the stronger.
So I forgive you. I know you didn't mean to insult me. I know you were telling the truth the way you saw it, and that's what I asked from you. Thank you. But maybe you should think, the reason that you don't always feel the way you do isn't the place. It's you.
I reinvented myself two years ago. I came to a school where no one knew me and no one cared about me, took all my quirks and pains, and became something more. People know my name now. I'm not afraid of anyone anymore. I do my best to fit in, do my best to stand out. I'm not normal, but sometimes I wish I was. A lot more than people might think, actually. I wish I knew what people mean when they talk about things so far away from my world. I hate feeling left out. I'm just another girl, after all, and because of how I present myself, how I talk, how I show off, how I smile constantly, I think people forget that. I have a greater understanding of myself than most people do my age, but that doesn't mean a thing. I still let my bad parts take over. More than what you might hope to in a religious, nice, polite(?) girl like me. I let my demon run wild. That's another demon of mine.
I'm slow sometimes. I'm mean. I cry.
(God, do I cry.
Did you know I cry?)
I poor my heart out to people who don't wanna hear. I talk to much.
(God, do I talk.
I think you know that I talk.)
I'm self absorbed and have no tact whatsoever. I'm pushy. So, so pushy.
I'm far from perfect.
Does that mean I can't be loud?
Entry:15/6/12 15:16You will crash, and burn, and fall
You will lose then have it all
Some may stand by you forever
As long as you remember
Sometimes, angels fall down.
Pirl, I think we are all still becoming. It sounds like you did a good job in finding a place in a new setting. The part that you pushed aside may have some good traits that we would enjoy seeing. And you seem aware of some of your shortcomings. Not everyone is aware of our shortcomings. I think I understand what it means to be smart but not always being smart in everything or first. Goodness, nobody is smart in all things and if people expect you to be then they haven't had enough experience or realization. The smartest girl in my high school is now my facebook friend. She is so nice and never says anything to show that she is smart. I wish I were so secure. In reply to a message she sent to me, she encouraged me in my writing saying it sounded relaxing. She was one of the nicest people in high school too although I wasn't actually one of her friends at the time. Others I know are smart and may show it more. But they are also so much more than their smarts as they are loving and caring.
I hope the show went well. I never thought of Thursdays that way. Nice to have a laid back day. Sorry this past Thursday wasn't that way. I hear thunder as I type.
No, it was good. This last Thursday was memorable. And yeah, it's like in the Mishna, with: Who's the wealthiest man? The one who... and then there's some sort of Buddhist(Is that how it's spelled?) crap, but it's really clever and life changing.
Entry: 16/6/12 23:15I preformed tonight. Apparently, there are two Mes.
That sounds like everything went wonderfully!
Okay, if that is what you want. But we are here if you ever want to speak your mind. Or whatever you prefer. And I hope you are experiencing good things that you can't get from reading a book or being online. :) And also, I hope you have some great experiences reading too.
Entry: 20/6/12!!!! 16:54That's it. God. I'm done.
No more school for two whole months. I got out with a great report card, though not amazing, especially for me, and I'm planning on meeting up with friends over the summer.
But there's that thing in my chest again! So maybe it's time to cry. I'll just let myself do that now. I promised myself I would.
And I'll be back on the 27th of august. Even if not all of us are going to come back.
Oh, and yeah, I got 100 in Arabic. If anybody doubted my language skills, you're SOOOO wrong.
Barbara wrote: "Okay, if that is what you want. But we are here if you ever want to speak your mind. Or whatever you prefer. And I hope you are experiencing good things that you can't get from reading a book or be..."I just meant you didn't understand what I said. God.
Oh, I I can be obtuse. You made it to the end of the year.
I should let the cat out of the bag. I can be a real dork. I don't always mean a lot by what I say though. It was kind of a play on words. Never MIND. And speak your MIND.
When I say I am obtuse sometimes I mean that I don't always understand things right away. Hopefully, the "light bulb" will eventually go on for me after a time. Sometimes I laugh at jokes later.
I know what you mean, but to me it takes like two seconds instead of one. Not days.LOL.
Entry: 21/6/12 18:14I never write with a pen.
I prefer pencils for many reasons. The major one being, you can erase it, and in order to correct mistakes done with a pen you have to cross it out, and it looks all ugly. Therefor, a person who writes with a pen, assumes he won't make mistakes. And when he does, he doesn't care if he corrects his mistakes in an ugly way. A person who writes with a pencil, knows he will make mistakes, like any other human being, and is prepared for when he does. A person whom writes with a pen but has the white stuff you use to erase ink which's name I do not know, doesn't think he'll make mistakes, but is prepared in case he will. And someone who has a pencil but forgot his eraser... he's just irresponsible.
And if you don't believe in all of this, it's possible I just like pencils because I'm used to them. And I hate change.
Entry: 21/6/12 22:46I'm so sick of people assuming that because I live where I live I must be rich. I'm upper middle class, just like every other kid in our classroom. Deal with it!
I don't even like tehinna.
(for those who don't get the pun, the Israeli slang word tahoon means rich in a bad way, and tehinna is a spread made out of sesame. I hate it, but it's a very popular food among Israelis.)
Ugh, I hate tehinna too.. I didn't know you had it in Israel!
Well... We eat it in Egypt too. It's sort of an Arabic food, right?
Tehinna sounds yucky! Erasers trump white out for sure! Shame on those irresponsible people using pencils and forgetting their erasers. :\
Sarah, you're right. It's an Arabic food. But don't you know what the second official language is in Israel?You know, I've always wanted to visit Egypt. It just sounds like it's so cool down there, with the Pyramids and tombs and stuff. Sadly, my origin will be a problem. I COULD use my American passport... Anyway, it'd be complicated for me to visit Egypt.
Barbara, LOL. Yes. Definitely. Shame on them.
Entry: 24/6/12 16:56Will you ever know me/ will you?
Entry: 24/6/12 23:23One: awesome date/time.
Two: MIB3 was great.
"Wow, that was close."
LOL
We explained it. It's something like Humus, only waterier, and is made out of sesame.
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I like Humus. There used to be a moderate restaurant nearby that served humus with crisp vegggies to dip in it. I'm undecided about asparagus.
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My Home Ec teacher in high school said even a dish towel taste good if you coat it in flour and seasoning and fry it!
Yeah I hate every kind of asparagus and I seem to only like humus on Friday nights when we have chicken so I'm not allowed to have butter on my hallah.(that's a type of bread. hard to describe.)
entry: 28/6/12 11:52I'm scared.
No, terrified.
Maybe being so talented is a curse.(especially when I don't believe it when it comes to art. So many people are so much better than me and she says I'm the most talented person she's ever taught? Yeah right Abba. I don't believe you. She never said that.)
P.S. Abba means Dad in Hebrew.
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Probably.
Pirl, I think I have seen how your dad is someone you look to in a crowd for support. I hope whatever made you feel so stressed is going better now. Talents can be burdens. But I am so grateful when people share theirs with me so I can enjoy them.
I should be sleeping as it is so very early where I am. Pirl, my comments may sound like I don't understand what you said. But I think I understand more than you may ever know. But I don't know how to express it and have a lot I could say.
I think you understood some. But I was mainly writing about how I don't believe I HAVE that much of a talent in art, but mostly in writing.
Entry: 30/6/12 22:48I need to be approved. I need to know you're there. And I need you to explain to me everything, because otherwise I fear I don't know.
And I hate feeling stupid more than anything else.
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