☀Ignite Your Creativity☀ discussion
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message 251:
by
Barbara
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Jun 13, 2012 09:13AM

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This is my last Thursday.
There isn't anything particularly special about Thursdays. I've always liked them, though. Maybe because it's the day nothing happens in. There's that taste of the weekend's coming! in the air, but it isn't so strong that it simply takes over everything else. It's a quiet day, no driving around.
This is my last Thursday, and I'm breaking all my rules.
It wasn't calm, of peaceful; it wasn't the taste of weekend in the air, but the taste of summer; and tonight, there's going to be driving around.
This is my last Thursday.
Good luck, Ofir. Showtime. Break a leg. You can do this.

Let this lead me wherever it will.
-
I don't always get it.
I'm not the smartest. People are always shocked to find this out because I am smart, but they don't seem to get that the fact that I'm louder doesn't mean I
m cleverer. There are so many people better than me. But only the strong survive. And in high school, the louder, the stronger.
So I forgive you. I know you didn't mean to insult me. I know you were telling the truth the way you saw it, and that's what I asked from you. Thank you. But maybe you should think, the reason that you don't always feel the way you do isn't the place. It's you.
I reinvented myself two years ago. I came to a school where no one knew me and no one cared about me, took all my quirks and pains, and became something more. People know my name now. I'm not afraid of anyone anymore. I do my best to fit in, do my best to stand out. I'm not normal, but sometimes I wish I was. A lot more than people might think, actually. I wish I knew what people mean when they talk about things so far away from my world. I hate feeling left out. I'm just another girl, after all, and because of how I present myself, how I talk, how I show off, how I smile constantly, I think people forget that. I have a greater understanding of myself than most people do my age, but that doesn't mean a thing. I still let my bad parts take over. More than what you might hope to in a religious, nice, polite(?) girl like me. I let my demon run wild. That's another demon of mine.
I'm slow sometimes. I'm mean. I cry.
(God, do I cry.
Did you know I cry?)
I poor my heart out to people who don't wanna hear. I talk to much.
(God, do I talk.
I think you know that I talk.)
I'm self absorbed and have no tact whatsoever. I'm pushy. So, so pushy.
I'm far from perfect.
Does that mean I can't be loud?

You will crash, and burn, and fall
You will lose then have it all
Some may stand by you forever
As long as you remember
Sometimes, angels fall down.





That's it. God. I'm done.
No more school for two whole months. I got out with a great report card, though not amazing, especially for me, and I'm planning on meeting up with friends over the summer.
But there's that thing in my chest again! So maybe it's time to cry. I'll just let myself do that now. I promised myself I would.
And I'll be back on the 27th of august. Even if not all of us are going to come back.
Oh, and yeah, I got 100 in Arabic. If anybody doubted my language skills, you're SOOOO wrong.

I just meant you didn't understand what I said. God.



I never write with a pen.
I prefer pencils for many reasons. The major one being, you can erase it, and in order to correct mistakes done with a pen you have to cross it out, and it looks all ugly. Therefor, a person who writes with a pen, assumes he won't make mistakes. And when he does, he doesn't care if he corrects his mistakes in an ugly way. A person who writes with a pencil, knows he will make mistakes, like any other human being, and is prepared for when he does. A person whom writes with a pen but has the white stuff you use to erase ink which's name I do not know, doesn't think he'll make mistakes, but is prepared in case he will. And someone who has a pencil but forgot his eraser... he's just irresponsible.
And if you don't believe in all of this, it's possible I just like pencils because I'm used to them. And I hate change.

I'm so sick of people assuming that because I live where I live I must be rich. I'm upper middle class, just like every other kid in our classroom. Deal with it!
I don't even like tehinna.
(for those who don't get the pun, the Israeli slang word tahoon means rich in a bad way, and tehinna is a spread made out of sesame. I hate it, but it's a very popular food among Israelis.)


You know, I've always wanted to visit Egypt. It just sounds like it's so cool down there, with the Pyramids and tombs and stuff. Sadly, my origin will be a problem. I COULD use my American passport... Anyway, it'd be complicated for me to visit Egypt.
Barbara, LOL. Yes. Definitely. Shame on them.




I'm scared.
No, terrified.
Maybe being so talented is a curse.(especially when I don't believe it when it comes to art. So many people are so much better than me and she says I'm the most talented person she's ever taught? Yeah right Abba. I don't believe you. She never said that.)
P.S. Abba means Dad in Hebrew.
Barbara wrote: "My Home Ec teacher in high school said even a dish towel taste good if you coat it in flour and seasoning and fry it!"
Probably.
Probably.



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