MM1

[Pirl]

Ha:)

[[deleted user]]

☻ ♥

[[deleted user]]

♫♪

[Pirl]

How'd you do those?

[[deleted user]]

hold the alt button on ur keyboard and hit numbers and number conbonations on the far right number pad

§☺☻↨♥♠♣♦•◘☼▼◄♂♫♪▐ ▬╝τ stuff like these

[Pirl]

OK. Cool. And it works! ☺♥ Thanks.

[[deleted user]]

welcomes! ☼►♀♪

[Barbara]

Hey!

[Pirl]

Hey.

[Pirl]

Entry: 10/5/12 16:46
Sometimes I just get this urge to write.
When I do, I usually just comment on GR, or continue a story of mine, and it fades away. But sometimes it nags me and bugs me till I write what it's telling me too, and I'll throw it away cuz it wasn't what it told me to write, eventually, at all.
And the same goes with singing.

[Barbara]

It's not easy having a gift. But sometimes it takes just going through the motions until you start writing what you are meant to write. I worked with a woman who wanted to get that "bug" back as she hadn't felt it for a long time and loved the passion.

[Pirl]

Um... OK.

[Barbara]

Be careful not to throw away any pearls of wisdom!

[Pirl]

Sometimes I wrap them up and put them in a box for safe keeping.XD

[Barbara]

:) very good! I think I'll make a blog entry today. I set up the name Barbie's blog but if I had seen your note first, I would have probably put Bar's blog.

[Pirl]

Ha, you know you can change the title.XD

[Pirl]

And I read, it's a nice blog.

[Pirl]

Entry: 15/5/12 20:23
I got into a fight yesterday.
I happens a lot, actually. Well, not for a while(thank God) but when it does- it's like something possesses me. I'm not me. I'm not a violent person. I slip my tongue, but actually physically hitting someone? Not me. Even this one time, I hurt myself in the process.
But I'm not proud of what I did yesterday. That guy was a douche, but he just didn't understand.(when will I stop looking for someone who can? Nobody can. It's my problem to deal with, and I'll deal with it on my own, like everything else.) And so I ended up hitting him. And me, upset, can only result with one thing: extra chipper me. Because I can't be too serious for too long. That will show too much. And when I'm serious, I scare people away. I need people. So I won't.
And I guess the point is, I have anger management problems.

[[deleted user]]

Wow, you are really good with the way you use your words, and I'm sorryt to hear that...

[Pirl]

thanks(for the compliment) but I'm really OK.

[Barbara]

Yes, frustration can bring out the worst in the best of us. It doesn't sound like you have a real pattern with physical violence at this point. I'm sorry that you were hurt in the process. You are right that if we want people in our lives that we have to be kind of social and all and not go around picking fights. :)

[Pirl]

OK. I'll amend my sentence: my point is, I used to have anger management problems. I don't anymore usually.

[[deleted user]]

How old are you? If you don't mind me asking, if you don't it's fine.

[Pirl]

14. Why?

[[deleted user]]

Just wondering... :)

[Pirl]

OK then.

[[deleted user]]

Sorry f I am creeping you out... I'm 13

[Barbara]

Pirl, We all have our limits and it seems you do pretty good most of the time. When someone is being a "jerk" like this guy, he is doing his best to push your buttons as you know.

[Pirl]

Actually, he didn't really know he was pushing buttons. I was on edge that day. And my limits are too low for normal.
And I wasn't creeped out, PrettyGirl.

[[deleted user]]

Haha thanks...

[Pirl]

It takes a lot to creep ME out with all my guy friends LOL;)

[[deleted user]]

Haha I was afraid you'd be like
"Creepy stalker girl wants to know my age..."

[Barbara]

Pirl, you know yourself pretty well in a lot of ways. Insight is good! Be careful not to be too hard on yourself.

Hello, Pretty Girl, I don't want you to think I am talking around you or that you are invisible or s'mting.

[Pirl]

LOL people ask me my age a lot, online AND in real life. Everybody's sure I'm at least sixteen, if they don't talk to them, and if I talk them, 30. LOL

[Pirl]

But that's offline. Online they just ask and I just tell 'em

[[deleted user]]

Barbara wrote: "Pirl, you know yourself pretty well in a lot of ways. Insight is good! Be careful not to be too hard on yourself.

Hello, Pretty Girl, I don't want you to think I am talking around you or that you ..."

It's k!!!
And Pirl- haha I get that a lot to, especially cuz I'm tall for my age.

[Pirl]

Barbara wrote: "Pirl, you know yourself pretty well in a lot of ways. Insight is good! Be careful not to be too hard on yourself.

Hello, Pretty Girl, I don't want you to think I am talking around you or that you ..."

I'm too easy on myself, LOL I let myself get away with a lot of things. I'm only hard on myself when it comes to reviewing the day or week or month or whatever.

[Pirl]

Prettygirl wrote: "Barbara wrote: "Pirl, you know yourself pretty well in a lot of ways. Insight is good! Be careful not to be too hard on yourself.

Hello, Pretty Girl, I don't want you to think I am talking around ..."

I'm tall and got big breasts, and just hold myself in that "I'm-older" way, for some reason. That and the way I speak makes people think I'm older

[Barbara]

That monthly analysis will get ya every time. Why not make it semi-annual lol!

I'm glad u r cool Pretty Girl!

Gotta go though to the great outdoors....

[[deleted user]]

Sme, same is that you in your profile pic? When did you start goodreads?

(creeeppperrr)

[Pirl]

LOL
Didn't get the last sentence.

[Pirl]

Prettygirl wrote: "Sme, same is that you in your profile pic? When did you start goodreads?

(creeeppperrr)"

Yep, when I'm six, in my sis's wedding. And I started GR in the beginning of this year.

[[deleted user]]

Awwww your cute!!! (NOT A CREEPER) and cool!

[Pirl]

Yeah, I am pretty cute, aren't I? LOL

[Pirl]

Entry: 18/5/12 19:20
And isn't it completely comprehencible that there's his one girl who's not ever alowed to be upset, or sad, and if she is, she's either going to need to cancel whatever she's been looking forward to since morning or she's going to be SCREAMed at for not wanting to talk about why she CRIED, or just shut the hell up and smile.
And the SCREAMS. They never stop, do they? Constantly all the SCREAMING. If it isn't at HER, then it's at HIM, and if it isn't at him, it's one another, and if it isn't that, well it's HER on HIM or HIM on HER and then THEY're asking themselves where HE and SHE get it from, because it sure as hell isn't THEM, wonderful, calm, peaceful people as they are.
And if it takes her over a second to get to the door of her room, well then, they SCREAM out her name, againandagainandagain until she calls out "What?!" for the third time and all THEY want is to SCREAM some more and then ask her why she isn't in the shower yet, please do, Shabbat is coming in, we wouldn't want a WHOLE FRIDAY to go by without a SCREAM or to, no sir, yesir.
((there will be a contniuation. Wait for it))

[Pirl]

Entry 18/5/12 19:20(continuation)
And all those times she prepared speeches, sometimes even wrote it down but no, SHE'll never speak them, for whenever she tries THEY, one of THEM, finds a way to make it all seem so ridiculous and childish , and of course it is, she's fourteen, what else would you expect? And don't worry, after a long enough life you'll be paranoid like us, no thank you, I'm cynical and hurt enough as it is, and is this what it feels like to go mad? Is it?
And if SHE dares think one of these questions in her HEAD, she asks herself, Silly girl, what other fourteen-year-old do you know asks themselves these sort of questions? So SHE hides them from HERSELF and tells that inner voice - always bugging the outside HER - to SHUT UP. And when SHE says she doesn't WANT to be normal, she can't help but question this EVERY time, don't you want to fit in?(of course she does, but will she?)
And when she CRIES, isn't there supposed to be someone you want to tell all about it? The one person(or two or three, really) you can always cry on their shoulder, no matter what? And yet, as many friends as she has, learning to hug and touch and care again(in that order), all she can do is ask herself Is this girl going away for good because she and I barely spoke today because I read so much during break? But I just HAD to finish the book, besides, she's not going away, that's just your abandonment issues(or whatever) and really you're just being silly. And oh, those looks, they don't want HER in this conversation, or at all, and of course she always wants to talk, nobody would ever notice her if she didn't.
And when will she stop LYING about caring? And maybe the truth is she doesn't care. Maybe she's just putting on a show for herself...
And why does she sometimes look so sure of herself and sometimes blushed like a tomato, really even redder, when someone says SHE's got POTENTIAL?
And why is it she can't eat when she's hungry but when SHE doesn't eat suddenly something's so wrong? And why does everyone complain about HER being like that or joking about that and then they do that exact same thing?
And THEM. They're the king and queen of double talk. And what do they know? Or do they, and she's not unique at all, just another girl with a pencil and a few questions about life that everyone asks?
Is she really smart at all?
And shouldn't she know better than to dream or care?
---
I guess crying never does help. But it always does. Oh well. I'll try next year.

[Pirl]

Thanks.
I'm pretty darn open. The bigger problem is the trouble my mouth gets me into. Besides, it's mostly about my parents.

[Pirl]

Not all the time. Just a lot.

[Pirl]

Exactly. Only in other times I feel like they don't care if I'm perfect or not, which is incredibly confusing.

[Pirl]

LOL