1. Let's talk about Rosa

[Carol]

Thanks, I'm an early riser, and do better in the morning! Team work!

Cute question. I see that she is one very very concerned woman that wants the best for her family. However, she has huge moments of selfishness in which she can only think of herself. But how good was she to Aminat. I loved that relationship. She gave the girl a chance where her mother was so clueless in life that she never would have made it on her own. When Aminat wound up staying with her mother after leaving Rosa's, I wondered what would happen. Was somewhat impressed that they kept things pretty well together. I'm not quite done. I'm looking forward to seeing how all the Tarter Cuisine works out with the new guy. More later.....

[Meghan]

She was awful but in a charming to the outside world kind of way. The author did a good job painting her as a functional under the radar psycho in a sense. She was soo consumed with her own well being and her own sense of a good life she was willing to do anything, including knowingly allowing her granddaughter to live with a child molester-to get to it. Rosa was delusional in many ways but functioned in the world as best she could..but the path of destruction she left behind was tragic.

[Julie]

When I first encountered Rosa, she was charming in a jaw-dropping kind of way. I chuckled at her thoughts and delusions, but then I began to see how devious she was. I can see how people would become wrapped up in her life, and I laughed out loud when she described her phase when she tried to bed every man she could find (at the bus depot, etc).

I think the worst part is- she actually thinks she is in the right and is living this upstanding, enviable life.

Maybe some of our members who have studied psychology may be more familiar with this type of behavior?

Also- do we all know someone who acts like this, though maybe to a lesser extent?

[Meghan]

Borderline Personality Disorder...classic Narcisist (sp?).

I deal with some people like this through my work everyday ( Probation). It is a classic risk factor when determining criminal risk.

I think we all know people who fit certain aspects of Rosa's personality to a lesser extent ( thank goodness)..luckily the difference is there are other parts of their personalities that are more dominant to temper the less enviable parts.

[Ashley]

Boy, I'm late jumping into the discussion this month. Anyhoo, I found Rosa revolting but I sort of found myself rooting for her. I mean, the lady is absolutely convinced of her own right-ness, but at least she's not lazy. Well, maybe lazy would've been better. She's definitely a martyr--"I do all these things for you but do you notice or care? No!" sort of attitude. All that said, as detestable as she is, poor Rosa DOES--I think--genuinely love Aminant. When she's a baby and Rosa is doing most of her care, she goes on a diatribe listing everything driving her nuts about having a newborn in the house. She then follows all this up with a disarming little line, which is its own paragraph: "I liked the way she balled her tiny fists and rubbed her eyes when she was sleepy" (p. 22). Of course, Bronsky doesn't let us idealize that grandmotherly vibe, because we all know she cares nothing for her second granddaughter because she is ugly (or, in Rosa's view, doesn't look like Rosa herself).

I also think Emily is right--I think we've all got a little Rosa in us. I CANNOT BELIEVE, for example, that parents put their toddlers to bed at 9 or 10 at night. Or that people vote a certain way. And I totally go all Rosa, with great eye-rolling and internal monologues about how wrong they are, without entertaining the SLIGHT possibility that perhaps I don't have all the facts, or that there are views on Topic A or B besides my own.

[Alisha]

I think borderline personality disorder fits Rosa perfectly.

Pushy, manipulative, martyr, promiscuous....it's all there.

I was intrigued by her genius capability of turning around EVERY situation to where she had no responsibility in it. She was so good at this, that she even believed herself. She made excuses for what she perceived to be bad behavior on another person's part, all while failing to see her own bad behavior.

Most of this was pretty entertaining. However, she made me quite angry when she used her granddaughter to sexually manipulate a man. Yes, child molesters are terrible. But she dressed her up and handed Aminant to him on a platter. Which in my opinion, is way worse. The person who should be the protector is actually recruiting her. Disgusting. Also, brings me back to our Skippy debate about which person is worse...

[Cheryl]

I AGREE WITH ALL OF YOU ABOUT THE DISGUSTING THINGS THAT ROSA DID. THIS INCLUDES HANDING AMINAT OVER TO A PEDOPHILE. IN HER MIND, HOWEVER, SHE JUSTIFIES IT BY KEEPING AN EYE ON HIM AND NOT LETTING HIM GET TOO WEIRD. SHE ACTUALLY FEELS SORRY FOR THE GUY AND PUTS HIM TO SHAME ABOUT HIS NASTY BUSINESS THINKING THIS WILL NOT ONLY KEEP HIM AT BAY BUT KEEP THEM IN GERMANY AND INSULATED FROM TROUBLE, POVERTY, WHATEVER. SHE IS USING WHAT HAS ALWAYS WORKED FOR HER IN WHAT SHE SEES AS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF BOTH HER AND AMINAT. SHE'S MANIPULATING THE SYSTEM AND MEN AS SHE SEES FIT TO SURVIVE AND THRIVE. WHAT OTHER WAY DOES SHE KNOW THAT WORKS IN HER OLD WORLD SOVIET THINKING?