SciFi and Fantasy eBook Club discussion
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What makes someone add a new friend?
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I think you're right that some people want to accumulate as many friends as possible. Outside of people I know from elsewhere, I'll add someone who's talking about authors I like, or (better still) is saying something interesting about authors I don't know but in a genre I generally like.I'm not sure why I'd want 1000s of Goodreads friends. There would be too much noise to actually hear what people are saying. Or am I missing something?
Hi, this subject is sort of close to home since I started on here a couple months ago and it seems like there's so many people who've read more than I have. So I want to friend them and pick their brains for good books and also read their reviews. But a lot of people I ask to friend me act kind of snooty about it. Wasn't expecting that lol! I'm sure not trying to get 1000s of friends. But you know, a few dozen would be fine. It seems like a lot of people only log on once in a while, so, it wouldn't be too much of flood (??).
Also I mostly ask people who have read the kind of fantasy that I like too. Why yo'd friend someone with totally different tastes is kind of weird lol.
Emily wrote:"But a lot of people I ask to friend me act kind of snooty about it.I feel that if someone has bothered to either read a comment of mine or to look at my books/reviews and then ask to Friend, it would be rude not to accept! Friend me if you like! ;-)
I like to see what other people are reading or what they have to say about books but agree, 1000s of friends will just be a distraction.
I ask to befriend folks either with similar taste, or who make intelligent, thoughtful comments. Once in a while I will ask to befriend someone if she or he has a lot of books in common with me. Someone who responds to my comments or questions on a thread and is very helpful, will usually get sent a friend request too. Like y'all, I'm not interested in 1000's; but when I'm very active in a group, I like to befriend some of the mods and some of the members. I do have the home page set to "all" so that I see what others are reading, not just my friends, and I've added a lot of books to my "to-read" shelf from that.
Emily wrote: "Hi, this subject is sort of close to home since I started on here a couple months ago and it seems like there's so many people who've read more than I have. So I want to friend them and pick their ..."I don't get why anyone would take on an attitude. I suppose they see themselves as exclusive, but there's lots of great people here you just haven't met yet.
Let the 'snoots' poke their noses up. More friends for the rest of us.
(Yeah, I know. That doesn't make any sense)
I mostly look for people who have similar interests and like minded tastes. However, I haven't taken on too many friends since I discovered groups like this. I'm not saying I wouldn't accept new friends, but the groups allow me to get the opinions and ideas from other readers without having to be "friend" every person out there. My Goodreads experiences have been really positive and to me this is the only social site that I feel has any real merit or value. I have real conversations here and get real insights. Not just a bunch of jerks trying to have the funniest, ill mannered, post of the day.
I don't have many friends and added people who are in the same group I'm in over at Live Journal. So far I haven't excluded someone just because they don't have a lot of the same interests as I do. If they have one category the same, it's worth having them as a friend because I can check their books in that category and read their reviews. And who knows, I may branch out into another genre I wouldn't have tried if I stuck to being friends with only people with the same interests as mine.I've seen some people on goodreads I'd like to friend, but I haven't been on here for long so I'm guessing they'd think "who is this person?" and reject the friend. So I'd rather not friend anyone out of the blue, unless we start chatting in groups we're in together. But if someone wants to friend me, I'll check them out and usually friend.
Christopher wrote: "Outside of people you know from Facebook or Twitter what's your decision process for making someone a 'friend' on Goodreads?"Primarily look for people who have rated some of my favorite books very high and tend to read some of the same authors/series that I do. I'm always interested in recommendations for books I haven't read and if someone seems to have similar reading preferences it works better.
And it's difficult to have much of a conversation if the books you like the most they've said they couldn't finish ... and their favorites are, for the most part, books I couldn't finish.
I look for people that have the same interests as I do, or similar interests to see if they can either recommend a good read I missed, or if they have read some authors or books I have not seen because its outside of what I normally read. I have found many books that way now. I also like some of the new upcoming authors and want to keep with what they are working on now or next.
With all the different groups out there if someone has a broad taste in types of books then keeping current on the groups will nearly be a full time job. lol.
I suppose I have been shy, perhaps anticipating being rejected. I have requested a friend only once and she accepted. Our tastes in reading are similar. I've had two requests and accepted both of them. So that has me at a total of three friends, LOL, since August 2011. I wouldn't mind more, but I think more than 10 active friends would probably be more than I need.
I talk books all the time with my students, and Goodreads gives me that missing element -- connecting with people who are not saying, "That book looks awfully thick, Miss."
Elldee
Elldee, just remember, if you love it, longer is better. (Books, I mean.) (Well, lots of stuff, but books too.)
Karl wrote: "Elldee, just remember, if you love it, longer is better. (Books, I mean.) (Well, lots of stuff, but books too.)"Good metaphor for life.
Yes, a good book leaves a person wishing it could continue. So I just laugh at my students and tell them I only choose good books.
Elldee
Books are the road to friends, libraries, and self-entertaiinment. I am in a wheelchair when up. I had breakfast this morning and no lunch. Perhaps ome can live on books alone.
I had a friend who named William Butler from RI who attended U of C . Bill was a good person and I wonder if you know him. He was considered to be suicidal.
I really do not yet know how to remove things from my to-read pile. I will have to try, I guess. I feel one cannot try enough new writers nor should one neglect the old.
I have a few friends who came over from my fb Fantasy Group (thanks guys!) and accepted a few requests from GR but I would love to have more friends who read the same types of books that I read so that I may find good reads & they may find something interesting in my read list too. I am still working on my "reviewing" skills so please don't pass me up because of that weakness LOL. All are welcome to friend me as long as you love Scifi, Fantasy, or mystery. I am still updating my READ list & TBR list with the books I already own. I love eclectic reads too.
Cloey.k wrote: "I have a few friends who came over from my fb Fantasy Group (thanks guys!) and accepted a few requests from GR but I would love to have more friends who read the same types of books that I read so ..."I'm like you. I find updating my book list is like organizing my iTunes. I can only do so much and then my brain wanders off to parts unknown.
Christopher wrote: "I'm like you. I find updating my book list is like organizing my iTunes. I can only do so much and then my brain wanders off to parts unknown."I am finding that I am beginning to place more books in my who cares stack! They will make it on GR as I move along or re-read them.
Valerie wrote "Good books are to be reread" So true and I have a lot of books that I am looking forward to rereading.
I like to friend people that make me laugh or that I've had at least one conversation with. I'll become a fan of an author I like and perhaps follow reviews of those who I think are helpfully critical (not outright slating but are happy to say if somethings not quite right.)
I also accept the odd friend request from people who have asked. Sometimes it's nice to be asked.
I have actually seen and waited in line for Anne Rice. Alan Alda signed one of his books and Stan Musial signed his picture for my mother at the Sea View in Bal Harbour, Fl.
I ask to friend folks who I either know F2F or who are in groups here on Goodreads that I'm in and we've interacted somewhat. I accept requests from people in those two categories, as well as folks who ask nicely, seem to have similar book interests, or answer my challenge question (What book would you recommend that I read) with something that I would actually like. I do not accept requests from authors who try to use that to flog their own wares.
Cookbooks are fascinating. Classics by Edgar Rice Burroughs. Jacques Pepin has a biography out as does Paul Newman. I am now beginning Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen which has a gripping opening.
I really like following reviews and chatting with people about books that we like. That's why I friend people who have the same interests as me. I usually friend people who are in one of the groups I'm in - that way I'm assured they'll generally like the same kind of stuff and be able to reccomend some good stuff I've missed. You know what is really cool? When I friend my favourite authors and they accept!
Elizabeth wrote: "You know what is really cool? When I friend my favourite authors and they accept!"I had that same experience. At first I hadn't realized I pressed the 'Friend' and not 'Fan' button, but they accepted. That's cool!
Interesting topic since I am pretty new on here myself and kinda wondered how, or even why, people (especially those that aren't authors) would have hundreds of friends on here which I can only imagine aren't "friends" in the true sense of the word. I was afraid it might be like Facebook of myspace where people "collected" friends just for the sake of collecting them.But after getting a couple random requests, and accepting them without being "snooty", I decided that widening your circle of influence is never a bad thing. Especially on a site that is devoted to sharing thoughts on books and perhaps opening your eyes to some which you might not have found out about otherwise.
And I have to agree, even if you don't necessarily interact with them, it's still kinda "neat"to have some of your favorite authors as friends lol.
I've never had a lot a friends (on or off-line) which could explain why I have (over 2800 books) and have read the number of books (over 8500) that I have. Here? I would tend to "friend" someone with the same taste in books that I have. I've read a bunch on the forums though & have picked up a few ideas as to authors I have NOT read (yet) that go both ways (want to read & want to continue to ignore).
Dale wrote: "I've never had a lot a friends (on or off-line) which could explain why I have (over 2800 books) and have read the number of books (over 8500) that I have. Here? I would tend to "friend" someone w..."I agree, the number of my books greatly exceeded the number of my friends. Then I decided that books were my friends and things evened out a little.
J.R. wrote: "and things evened out a little."The Universe always balances out, doesn't it?
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Like most of us, I receive so many friend requests that I had to figure some way to limit the number I said yes to. What I look for is similarities in genre and I also like to read the types of reviews they write.
If I get chatting on GR with someone of similiar tastes I add them, at least I do when I can remember (usually I get too occupied with the discussion and forget to).I don't have many friends (violin strings if you please) although I talk to lots of people and most of my gang of 20 approached me. I'll add anyone who wants to be my friend because they have gone to the effort and at the end of the day as long as I don't have to buy them all a pint where's the harm.
I recently got two friends requests. Don't know what prompted them, but after looking at their profile and reading a bit about them I accepted. I don't say this because I feel 'friending' me is some kind of elite status, but I like to know there's a basis of similar interests.
So, I guess that's as good a reason as any.
I think one of the problems is that the term "friend" has become increasingly vague as different sites use it in different ways. Some places use it just as a way of keeping a sort of contact list of acquaintances or a way to follow people. Others expect friends to be people you actually know or like.I tend to "friend" people on GR that I have had several discussions with, usually where I agree with their views, but I have added people who have the same taste in books as me, especially when their list includes lots of books I am looking to read in future.
As an author I can see advantages to having a lot of "friends" on your list so that more people here about book releases etc., but I suspect you would need a very large number for it to make any difference at all? I've never set out to do that.
I don't think I know anyone on Facebook (none of my RL friends use it) and very few on Twitter.
Paul, I hear you. It's hard to have 1,000 close, personal friends!On GR, I interract with people I know from Twitter, FB... but it's also folks with similar interests or review styles. I don't always accept all requests, either, if I'm not sure there's common ground, but it is nice to build a group of people with similar interests.
And Paul, I have not set out to do that with my author persona, either... though many of my friends are authors as well :) First and foremost, I'm a reader, and I think I've only just begun to scratch the surface of what this site offers, so having those friends really helps.
Vrabinec wrote: "I'm guessing a lot of authors check out reviews of books in their own genre and then friend the people who tend to give positive reviews in their genre, so people get friended out of the blue."That's quite sneaky and probably accurate, but it wouldn't explain why I had a spate of requests from spiritualists and palm readers, both on here and twitter. I haven't read any spiritual books. Perhaps it's my cheesy grinning profile pic.
Goodreads just merged "fan" and "following" on author pages. But, anyone following or now fan/following an author will see all the author's status updates, blog posts if blog linked to their goodreads profile, book reviews, shelving activity. You do not have to friend authors or vice versa to see their updates.I will follow authors or reviewers whose reviews, posts and updates I find interesting. When fan and follow were separate, I always followed an author I fanned.
One reason some members like lots of friends - odd competitions for # whatever reviewer (having plenty of friends to see and like your reviews gets you into those stats) and to gain followers for their book review or other blogs off goodreads. Liked review here is like "helpful" at amazon and moves most popular to top of pile, which gets it more viewings and likings...I think we are all familiar with that tactic.
If you like someone's reviews (particularly if read same books), you can follow them to add their reviews and status updates to your update feed without friending.
If I find in discussions or reviews that I have a lot of reading tastes in common with someone, I compare books. Usually at least follow. If eerily close tastes, I friend because I want their reviews up top right underneath the book on the book page. If our reading tastes so close we might have been separated at birth, I will edit friend list to make them "top friend" right up with my real life friends.
I friend if I keep running across them all over goodreads and we have fun discussions.
I used to accept all friend requests and then just unfriend if they turned out to be a spammer or just endlessly flooded my update feed with stuff I did not want where I could not get to see posts from other friends. Never care how long someone has been on goodreads. Do prefer groups or books in common.
Actually following favorite author's posts about shelving books, what they are resding, their book reviews — gee, shock, awe, surprise — the best authors are also avid readers. And my favorites tend to like a lot of the same books and authors I do. (I don't see a reason to "friend" an author since I can just follow and would feel awkward sending a friend request as it's a bit like the stalker fan if they are a "famous" author).Shame on amazon for handling a few bad apples by preventing author reviews and some types of author participation with their reading community. I'm pretty used to seeing some big name author endorsement on book jackets and quoted reviews or comments in printed book descriptions anyway so never thought anything about it one way or another that authors could write reviews on amazon.
Shame on the few bad apples, sock puppets, trolls, desperately spamming, annoying authors spoiling the online communities for the rest of us.
@Vrabinec They can't be that psychic as they clearly got it wrong :)Also there is always a hidden underworld for most things.
When I joined Goodreads I added people to my friends list because I know them from Twitter. We already have a connection. I've also found a couple of authors I like and friended them.
Outside of people you know from Facebook or Twitter what's your decision process for making someone a 'friend' on Goodreads?