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February Group Read - Duct Tape is Not Enough
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Melki
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Feb 01, 2012 04:22AM

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I'm almost done..not to brag. Along with the book I found a DVD (season 11) of Red Green at my library...wow, is all I have to say. I haven't seen an episode since about 1999. It was my Dad's show - he watched it everyday, on his worn out leather couch in the basement (aka man cave). So, occasionally I'd catch part of the show, but, being a teen I had no real connection to the midlife/marriage/man/handyman jokes...but, now I do. I'm old now I guess?
I've started it - but I'm reading it v-e-r-y slowly to allow all those tidbits of wisdom to fully soak into my psyche. There's just SO MUCH to absorb...

First it's your mother/father when you are a kid.
Then you go off to University and you don't have money to spare for new underwear (you need it for beer?!). So, you rely on Xmas presents.
Then when you are married either your spouse or mother-in-law fill your stocking with underwear every Xmas.
I have to admit, I'm one of those men too...wow, I'm finding a whole new side of myself and my manhood here. It's very liberating.
Aw man - thanks for ruining that underwear thing! I haven't gotten that far yet! Use a spoiler alert next time, eh?
There seems to be a whole generation of men who never had to take care of themselves. My father never bought a stitch of clothing for himself, and no - he was not a nudist! (My mother actually bought him NOTHING BUT clothes. He was one of those guys who dies with three drawers full of unopened dress shirts!)
Many men went from mom to wifey, with maybe a brief stint in the army -- never having to cook a meal or do the laundry.
One of my older friends is fond of telling this tale:
Knowing that a meeting would keep her away from home over the supper-hour, she bought a nice TV dinner for her hubby. She preprogrammed the microwave so that all he had to do was press START. She came home from her meeting as he was finishing up a peanut butter sandwich. "Why didn't you have your TV dinner?" she asked. He said, "Well, I pressed START, the microwave did its thing, the bell rang, I opened the door...and there was nothing in the damned thing!"
There seems to be a whole generation of men who never had to take care of themselves. My father never bought a stitch of clothing for himself, and no - he was not a nudist! (My mother actually bought him NOTHING BUT clothes. He was one of those guys who dies with three drawers full of unopened dress shirts!)
Many men went from mom to wifey, with maybe a brief stint in the army -- never having to cook a meal or do the laundry.
One of my older friends is fond of telling this tale:
Knowing that a meeting would keep her away from home over the supper-hour, she bought a nice TV dinner for her hubby. She preprogrammed the microwave so that all he had to do was press START. She came home from her meeting as he was finishing up a peanut butter sandwich. "Why didn't you have your TV dinner?" she asked. He said, "Well, I pressed START, the microwave did its thing, the bell rang, I opened the door...and there was nothing in the damned thing!"
And - I find it very sad that you get underwear for Xmas.
But then again...you got your wife shampoo, didn't you?
But then again...you got your wife shampoo, didn't you?

She keeps going on and on about me saying my wife is so lucky. It's gotten so bad that it's turned into a joke (story of my life).

Well, the short anecdotes make perfect reading for the one room of the house where you happen to sit frequently, but not for very long periods of time...

Agreed...the dining room table; breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Then at least you have something to talk about. That's what you meant, right?
Right....and now that I've finished my other dining room table book, I can devote all the time I spend in the dining room to Red Green.

My real experiences included waiting at the tire store for new tires to be put on the car, sitting in the car waiting in the coffee shop drive thru, sitting on the couch being constantly interrupted by those pesky things I call my kids, and while doing laundry. All places where my attention span on the book was limited from mere seconds to one minute.
Question: This book was aimed at men, did you have a hard time relating, or did you find the jokes had 'universal' appeal?
I had no trouble relating to this book as my husband IS essentially Red Green. He even bought duct tape this weekend!
The garage belongs to him. If you ever get down this way on a tour of fine American eating establishments, you have got to see it. It's the most ORGANIZED garage I've ever seen, so unlike 90% of my neighbors, we can still park our car inside. I am allowed one drawer, 4 x 6 inches, in which I keep my glass cutter and sawtooth hangers for picture framing. That was doled out quite grudgingly, and he still gets this look on his face when he knows I've been in the garage. A kind of "What-the-hell-have-you-been-doing-in-my-sanctuary?-You-better-not-have-messed-anything-up!" look.
You probably know what I'm talking about...
The garage belongs to him. If you ever get down this way on a tour of fine American eating establishments, you have got to see it. It's the most ORGANIZED garage I've ever seen, so unlike 90% of my neighbors, we can still park our car inside. I am allowed one drawer, 4 x 6 inches, in which I keep my glass cutter and sawtooth hangers for picture framing. That was doled out quite grudgingly, and he still gets this look on his face when he knows I've been in the garage. A kind of "What-the-hell-have-you-been-doing-in-my-sanctuary?-You-better-not-have-messed-anything-up!" look.
You probably know what I'm talking about...

While I resent Red's inference that all women mince around in high heels (I don't) and carry huge purses instead of using pockets (I don't), I have to say he hit the nail on the head with this statement about husbands. - "He becomes an obstacle to a quiet, easy, stress-free life."
OMG!!! That is SO TRUE!!! Red Green is a genius!
OMG!!! That is SO TRUE!!! Red Green is a genius!

Did you get the feeling there was a dark underlying theme? That most men turn out to be losers, doing nothing with their life, and never mastering things like manners? I did - which made me feel at home - we are all in this together.
I managed to snag another Red Green DVD from my local library, I think it may be called something like, 'we can't help it, we're men!'
I find him very inspirational, in fact I find I'm acting more like a stereotypical man when I read his books and watch his shows. This is not good.
Yeah, your wife must be thrilled about that.
I'm wondering if you get to do exactly what you want in life - whether it's lying on the couch, watching sports, and drinking beer OR using duct tape to turn an ordinary household appliance into a minivan/lawn mower...can you be considered a loser?
Seems like men might have the last laugh...
I'm wondering if you get to do exactly what you want in life - whether it's lying on the couch, watching sports, and drinking beer OR using duct tape to turn an ordinary household appliance into a minivan/lawn mower...can you be considered a loser?
Seems like men might have the last laugh...


That's ... weird.
I had to order it from an independent seller on Amazon. One of those strange cases where the shipping and handling costs more than double the price of the book.
I had to order it from an independent seller on Amazon. One of those strange cases where the shipping and handling costs more than double the price of the book.

If you would like to read my wonderfully witty review on this book, http://bookwormsfeastofbooks.blogspot...