I found out where my GR updates had gone

[Rachel]

The SPAM folder.

Months and months of Goodreads mail just piled there like some secret govt warehouse. And I never even saw how much SPAM was in there till a few minutes ago.

I'm back, ladies, gentlemen and ficus!!! ...But I've been gone so long, do you still remember the bunny?

I feel like I should be singing some Barbara Streisand. Particularly "As If We Never Said Goodbye".

[Félix]

Aw, man.

[Rachel]

Larry, why is your name Felix??

[[deleted user]]

Hey Rachel, how have you been?

[Rachel]

Hey, I've been great! Starting college next year! :D

[Félix]

I don't know, Rachel. Someone whispered in my ear that I should change my name.

[[deleted user]]

Where are you going?

[Rachel]

@Felix, has anyone else changed their name?

@Beta, haha, it's a local uni in my country called HELP University or something. Going to do my A-levels there. Beta, did you by any chance go by another name previously?

[Félix]

Beta used to be ... used to be ... uh ....

[[deleted user]]

Yes. I'm a friend of yours. :D

[Rachel]

I suspect so! Why has everyone changed their names?! Was there some sort of break in into the secret TC files that exposed each member for who they were, and now for their own safety, they have to assume different identities?

[Félix]

No we were just bored I think.

[Rachel]

Ah...that makes it difficult to recognize people. Shall I change my name then, Larry?

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

We believe Beta and Felix had to testify at a mob trial, where they sang like canaries and are now in the witness protection program. So don't go looking for Felix at his building in Omaha, where a famous former Republican Senator also lives whose name is a homonym of a famous dead philosopher.

[Félix]

Ha ha yes it's all true ... er wait ... no it's a lie.

Rachel DO NOT change you name else I'll have to search the globe for you AGAIN!

[Rachel]

See, LG would never say anything but the truth! I KNEW IT.

Well, LG hasn't changed her name OR picture! ~happy face~

[Félix]

She's always the same unknowable self.

[[deleted user]]

::tweet tweet::

[Rachel]

I thot I thaw a putty cat!

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Sometimes I think about changing my picture, but I'm so in love with my face I haven't been able to.

[Félix]

Understandable.

[Rachel]

:D Alright then! At least I recognize you, LG. Would anyone like to fill me in on who else has changed their pic? For example, Beta has not said who she formerly was!

[Rachel]

Abigail, is it Abigail?!!

[Félix]

I'll PM you on that.

[Jammies]

Welcome back, bunny!

[Phil]

I used to be a platypus, but you didn't pay much attention to me.

[Jammies]

*pats Phil on the noggin* You get enough attention. ;)

[The Ficus]

::scoots closer to Rachel, farther away from Jammies::

[[deleted user]]

::gives Phil a hug::

[Phil]

Yea!

[Jammies]

The Ficus wrote: "::scoots closer to Rachel, farther away from Jammies::"

*sniffles sadly* :(

[Phil]

::offers Jammies a couple of christmas holiday cookies and some hot chocolate, then a small bowl of brains::

[Jammies]

*sniffles more* Thank you, Phil. It's nice to know that people like me even if someplant doesn't!

*offers to share treats*

[Sally, la reina]

Why do you think the ficus doesn't like you? Isn't it good to be out from behind it? Were you not finding stinky smelly socks and empty beer cans back there?

[Félix]

We really need a good cleaning service around here.

[Jammies]

Sally, the ficus was running away from me. *sob*

[Sally, la reina]

I think "running" is a bit hyperbolic.

[Félix]

Like that tree that ran out in front of my car.

[Jammies]

Great, now Sally hates me toooooooooooooooooo!

[Sally, la reina]

::pokes Jammies with a wooden stick::

[Phil]

::pokes Sally with a spatula::

Don't mess with Jammies!

[Jammies]

'sokay Phil--I wouldn't know she liked me if she didn't mess with me. :D

[Rachel]

Wow, ~hugs everyone~ So glad to be back!!!

Jammies deserves cookies and pie. Lots of pie.

Phil, if it's any consolation, you look better as erm...a wheel.

Hmmm...odd. I'm looking around the ficus here, but I can't seem to find my stash of chocolate bars and sandwiches I left from last time.

[Phil]

::points at Jim::

[Rachel]

~roars~

~picks up hypodermic needle, rope and body bag~

Those sandwiches belonged to me. Mine. They have four kinds of cheese, tomatoes I planted in my own garden, bread I baked with my own sweat and blood and just the right amount of olives. My pet pig had to die for that sandwich. I will find you, JIM!!!

[Phil]

::tells Jim, "your shoe is untied"::


::runs!::