Chat Showing 101-150 of 1,659

[Mathew]

That's wonderful Kyle!

[Jon]

Hey Humour Clubbers, if you've ever thought about proposing, have already proposed, or have been proposed to, you might enjoy a feature I have out today at AskMen.com called The Ultimate Proposal Guide. It's an excerpt from my book, The Three Dollar Scholar. No sales pitch or anything, just thought you guys might enjoy it and it might spark some good ol' fashion humour club chat room fodder... The link is here:

http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_a...

[Jon]

Kyle, I know your nightly reading time is about to get a little more limited with a baby (I have a 7 month old and am finally getting some time back), but if you want an easy book to read that's about the ridiculous side of taking care of a baby, try Jay Mohr's book: No Wonder My Parents Drank...

I've been a lukewarm fan of his comedy at best, but I heard a rant of his on a radio show about having a one month old and I picked it up. It's a fast read, pretty funny, and actually quite sweet. But he really nails some of the finer, more absurd points of being a dad to an infant... Good for a few laughs and one liners about the Diaper Genie.

[Melki]

Jon, I enjoyed your guide to proposing. Humorous, yet your advice was quite practical. I am SO GLAD I never had to dream up a clever way to ask for someone's hand in marriage.
Just one question...who the hell cries at the end of LOVE ACTUALLY?

[Mathew]

Interesting link Jon. I like the - if it's not 1950 just move in together first.
Isn't there a phrase, 'why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free'...love that, moo.

Another think I liked about that article was the link on the sidebar to hilarious pictures, http://blog.trutv.com/dumb_as_a_blog/...

[Melki]

I was talking to my 84-year-old neighbor today, and she let it slip that the original owner of my home committed suicide somewhere in the house! Great!
I've been wanting to tear out the wall-to-wall carpeting - now I'm afraid it's covering up the bloodstains.
Even creepier - there have been several suicides in this neighborhood! Something in the water? Neighbors literally annoying one another to death?

[Mathew]

Melki, I'd move...I mean wall to wall carpet!?

When we moved in our neighbors came by and said something like, "I remember when old Wilma had her bed right there in the living room so she could look out the window, bless her soul"...apparently died there as well. No suicide, but still creepy.

[Robert]

Melki wrote: "I was talking to my 84-year-old neighbor today, and she let it slip that the original owner of my home committed suicide somewhere in the house! Great!
I've been wanting to tear out the wall-to-w..."

Not been here for a while I see that you all seem to have a fascination with the word bugger
Well since Melki moved in all the neighbors thought they ''MIGHT AS WELL BUGGER OFF AND TOP THEMSELVES''

bob

[Melki]

Gee, Bob...thanks for comin' back.

[Melki]

My dog got some mail today. Last time that happened, it was a credit card offer. This time, Dr. Doo-Doolittle is offering to come to our house and clean up all his dog poo for a mere 10 bucks a week!
What is the good Dr. going to do with all that poo? Turn around and sell it to people who want to send a box o' dog crap to their enemies? Just wonderin'...

[Mathew]

Dr. Doo-Doolittle...very witty.

Watch out for Dr. Do-little garden fertilizer in the spring...wanting to plant little plugs of fertilizer on your yard or something?

[Richard]

Bookworm wrote: "Dr. Doo-Doolittle...very witty.

Watch out for Dr. Do-little garden fertilizer in the spring...wanting to plant little plugs of fertilizer on your yard or something?"

For a book where this theme is prominent, try Terry Pratchett's latest Discworld novel Snuff.

[Melki]

Hmmm... not sure if that's a recommendation or a warning...

[raya (a little mango)]

General curiosity: does anyone here run a separate blog for book reviews?

See, I've had this WordPress blog for ages, but I haven't updated it since June '11. I'm wondering how books reviews work out on blogs versus posting them here on GR?

[Mathew]

I have a blog where I review the books I've read. http://bookwormsfeastofbooks.blogspot...

Typically I put a bit more personal info/opinion in the blog posts, but, they are essentially the same.
I'm not sure how many people read my reviews here on GR, but, I can follow the hit count on my blog...those dozen or so 'hits' really boost my low self esteem.

[raya (a little mango)]

My to-read shelf grows so quickly that I can't remember half of what I mark. I was going to add Blyton's book, but I apparently already did.

I transferred my last two GR reviews over to my WP blog. One view per post so far. I'm popular.

Looking at today's statistics, I find this funny: I seem to get the most blog views when people hit "kristen stewart chronic bitchface" into search engines. That, or something about blobfish and food chains.

[Jon]

Hello Fellow Humour Clubbers... Been a while since I checked in as I've been traveling. Hope all's well with everyone... I read the Art of Fielding on my flights to and from LA. Anyone else read it? I'm a huge baseball fan, so it probably hit me differently, but I overall enjoyed it. Definitely had some issues, but also had some great moments... There were lots of references to Moby Dick in the book. And I also watched the movie Warrior in my travels, with Moby Dick references as well. I confess that I never actually finished the book in high school, but I'm thinking of giving it a shot again now... Anyone else in the same literary/cinema ballpark?

also, for those interested, and i know a few are, but most probably not, the new website that goes along with my book is up: www.thethreedollarscholar.com. feel free to browse around... or ignore the link entirely...

[Melki]

Welcome back, Jon. I haven't read The Art of Fielding, but I keep seeing good reviews.

I'm undecided on Moby-Dick. It's my neighbor's favorite book, so she's forever trying to talk me into reading it. If you're looking for a ripping good fish story, I'd recommend Gus Openshaw's Whale-Killing Journal instead.

[Jon]

A while ago I read In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex, that Moby Dick is supposedly based on a little, and that book was flat out awesome. I'll give Openshaw's book a try a book or two after Moby so I don't get whaled out. Thanks for the tip, Melki!

[Mathew]

Raya wrote: "Looking at today's statistics, I find this funny: I seem to get the most blog views when people hit "kristen stewart chronic bitchface" into search engines. That, or something about blobfish and food chains"

I like the stats that come up on the blog. I get the most hits from people looking up 'gardening books'...I did one review on a gardening book and boom I'm an internet destination? Guess people who read gardening books are actually out there gardening rather than blogging about it?

[raya (a little mango)]

I wish there were as many books on what to do about creepy neighbors as there are on gardening.

My upstairs neighbor thinks he is very discrete in his window-peeping but fails miserably. He has yet to learn that looking through the tiny holes in the blinds is more stealthy than prying the blinds apart. (I mean, not that I would know...) I am debating on informing him about this by sticking a post-it note on his door or simply shouting, "Cole, I can see you!" next time.

[Melki]

Have you tried waving at him? Or would that send the wrong message?

[raya (a little mango)]

Waving is a possibility! Although he might mistake it as a positive, friendly gesture, and I prefer minimal contact.

[Melki]

I just wish my neighbors did something worth watching.

[Mathew]

My neighbor (a mid aged single man with no job) just sits in a Lazy-boy chair watching a gigantic tv with his curtains open...the only strange part is he only watches cartoons? Lucky for us it's not porn or something.

[Jon]

Been a while... Hi everyone. Glad I could pop in on the excellent Peeping Tom thread. Anyone know the story behind the phrase Peeping Tom without Googling it? I wrote a short story on it in college and it was pretty interesting how the phrase came about... I'll let the suspense build while you check it out. Crazy little story from a fairly well known writer.

[Richard]

Jon wrote: "Been a while... Hi everyone. Glad I could pop in on the excellent Peeping Tom thread. Anyone know the story behind the phrase Peeping Tom without Googling it? I wrote a short story on it in college..."

Now you've got me curious, Jon! Can'tcha give us a hint?

[raya (a little mango)]

The wandering pets around here are far more interesting than the people. Also: rude geese that don't leave and crows that screech at exhaust pipes.
Goose.

To Google Peeping Tom is now tempting... I have no idea. Drop a hint?

Bookworm wrote: "My neighbor (a mid aged single man with no job) just sits in a Lazy-boy chair watching a gigantic tv with his curtains open...the only strange part is he only watches cartoons? Lucky for us it's no..."

I hope he is also clothed. My mom often tells the misfortune she had of spotting a very-naked neighbor man walking inside his living room when she was six.

[Melki]

I'm jealous. We have no geese slinking about our neighborhood. Our roamers include deer, the occasional bear, and possibly the ugliest dog I've ever seen - picture a cross between a chihuahua and a hyena.

And now to wait for Jon to come thru with his Peeping Tom story...

[Jon]

Sorry to build such suspense! I just Googled to double check if I remembered it right, but the phrase Peeping Tom comes from the story of Lady Godiva. Godiva was alleged to have been so fed up with how heavily her husband was taxing the people of her town (he was the mayor or something) that she rode through town buck naked on a horse to prove that the people of the town were so honorable, not a single one of them would be classless enough to glance at her. Apparently, she thought that this would show that the townies were good people and didn't deserve to be taxed into poverty. Her little ruse worked on 99.9% of the people in town, except for one person who couldn't help himself and had to peep at the naked chick galloping through town on a horse. That person's name, according to legend was... drumroll please..... TOM.

[Melki]

Hmmm...well worth the wait, though I'm willing to bet Mitt Romney's 10 grand that Richard already knew that.

[Richard]

Melki wrote: "Hmmm...well worth the wait, though I'm willing to bet Mitt Romney's 10 grand that Richard already knew that."

Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, Melki! In fact, I think I read about this a long time ago, but I just couldn't dredge it up from the archives. That's why it was bothering me so much. The old grey matter ain't what she used to be...

[Jon]

The old grey matter ain't what she used to be...

That's why the internet was invented, Richard!

[Richard]

Jon wrote: "The old grey matter ain't what she used to be...

That's why the internet was invented, Richard!"

@ Melki: Hope you didn't lose any money on my account.
@ Jon: You said it, brother!

[raya (a little mango)]

An unclothed Godiva was not an event Tom could miss, I guess.

Melki wrote: "Our roamers include deer, the occasional bear, and possibly the ugliest dog I've ever seen - picture a cross between a chihuahua and..."

We also have deer with the addition of coyote. If it weren't for deer, I would never have learned not to drive down a deserted, poorly lit stretch of road. (Cue sad music.)

Is the dog hairless?

[Melki]

I think there's some sort of fur there. He looks like a miniature version of a "Lion King" hyena...possibly the one voiced by Cheech Marin.

[Melki]

I had to go to Walmart the other day - yes, I've been avoiding that place like the plague ever since I watched a customer spit on the floor in housewares - BUT - it's the only place around that sells aquarium supplies. They now have a sign at the entrance that says, "If you have a return, please go to the customer service desk. If you are returning firearms, please leave them in your car."

My mind boggles imagining the scenario that prompted the posting of that sign. Apparently walking into Walmart, carrying a shotgun is not a good thing. (Even if you have the receipt.)

[Mathew]

Crossing the border to the US is not that big a deal, but, there is some definite culture shock especially relating to guns. I notice a lot more 'AMMO' for sale signs on people's lawns - as in they sell 'ammo' out of their garage as a home business or something?
Also the sign at 'sport' stores like Gander - "Do not load ammo into firearms in the store" (as in wait until you get to the parking lot?!)

[[deleted user]]

Melki wrote: "I had to go to Walmart the other day - yes, I've been avoiding that place like the plague ever since I watched a customer spit on the floor in housewares - BUT - it's the only place around that sel..."

I'm English so the idea of being able to walk into a Walmart and purchase a gun is a completely foreign concept to me, but that sign confused me. Surely if you buy one you have to walk out of the shop with it? So how come you can walk out with it but not back in? Either way you're walking around a shop with a gun. And do they not come in some form of packaging so that you can tell the difference between the guy who's carrying a gun because he's just bought it and the guy who's carrying a gun because he's a nutjob who's about to go postal? Or do you simply pay for it and sling it over your shoulder and stroll out doing your best John Wayne strut? The mind boggles.

[[deleted user]]

I must say,"Thank you." to all who have been blogging on this particular thread this month. I'm a bit too fatigued to add anything. Still, I'm enjoying a laugh. I am the most relaxed I've been all day. Thanks all.

[Hazel]

Lance wrote: "Melki wrote: "I had to go to Walmart the other day - yes, I've been avoiding that place like the plague ever since I watched a customer spit on the floor in housewares - BUT - it's the only place a..."

Lance, the was once a giveaway at an american bank where you got a free shotgun when you opened an account... to me thats just asking for trouble ;P

I think I saw this on Bowling for Columbine, so Micheal Moore may have been lying.

[[deleted user]]

Hazel wrote: "Lance wrote: "Melki wrote: "I had to go to Walmart the other day - yes, I've been avoiding that place like the plague ever since I watched a customer spit on the floor in housewares - BUT - it's th..."

Yes! I saw that too. Although as I recall he actually went to the bank and got one so I don't imagine it was a lie, unless he went to the trouble of staging the whole thing, which I doubt.

A very different culture to here in the UK that's for sure. We're found somewhere towards the polar opposite end of that spectrum. I'm pretty sure I read that the individual's training for the handgun shooting event in the Olympics are unable to train in the UK due to the handgun ban after the Dunblane tragedy. So yeah, things are a bit different here!

[Hazel]

yeah, a very different culture, though we have a higher violent crime rate than they have in the US, so maybe we need stronger restrictions... or maybe reducing the restrictions would reduce the violent crime rate, who knows?

[[deleted user]]

Hazel wrote: "yeah, a very different culture, though we have a higher violent crime rate than they have in the US, so maybe we need stronger restrictions... or maybe reducing the restrictions would reduce the vi..."

Really? Now that is interesting, I didn't know that. But yes very different cultures. Different extremes.

[Melki]

There was an awesome squirrel fight out by my bird feeders today. One squirrel was on the ground, nibbling away when a rival approached. Next thing you know, there's this gray ball rolling all over the lawn.
It reminded me of how fights are always depicted in the comic strips - a ball of dust with an occasional fist or foot sticking out.

[Paul]

A few years ago, I found out first hand where the expression "when the fur flies" came from when an intruding cat got in to a fight with one of mine. Unbelievable amount of mess.

[Mathew]

Squirrels steal..they steal flower bulbs and blankets (if you happen to leave one on your lawn). Then they put the blankets up the tree in your front yard. Your tree looks like a garbage pile and the neighborhood goes to pot. They are terrible things, but, darn cute.

[Jeb]

Anybody heard from Yeung Lap Ming lately? The dirty little devil has got my number and I sure hope he's not coming after anyone else in our group: http://jsharrison22855.blogspot.com/

[Melki]

Somehow I suspect it is a "biz" involving depositing money into a Nigerian prince's bank account.

[Hazel]

you just reminded me of the google april fools gag, Melki: