Next Gen- Academy for heroes discussion
Out of school
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Character Self-Chat
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Me: My sister just thought Rud was a girl....DUDE! I GOT A 93% insanity reading when I did a science fair experiment. O.o I THINK I WIN!
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@Thera: What was the part where you guessed? xD
@Kaylee: And I'm remembering how I'm the only guy in this group again. Thanks xD
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Me:@Rud... Yah.. she recognized that she made a mistake though. She realized your profile and then remembered that Ive mentioned you before.... she slapped herself.. then thumped me.. and walked away
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Me ™ She thinks that I am nuts.. nuts and bolts... then she said,"You all are idiots...." I was..... just staring at her.. te way I worded thst made no sense at all....
so.. how is everyone doin?
Me: pooh... ive been flipping out for the oh... past... 72 hours.....and excluded at the lunch table once again.
Me: lol... and im extremely sleep deprived... i almost got a detention from my science teacher O.o
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Me: lucky ducks... ive been up since... five... Inwver fall asleep....until one in the mornong and then wake up constantly.
Me: Yesterday was weird. I had to eat baby food and my signed copy of a book I bought isn't here yet.
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Me:YEAH!
Um...mebbe Alpine and Jonathan? Or....Gabe and Lark?
Um...mebbe Alpine and Jonathan? Or....Gabe and Lark?
ME: IT'S HERE! THE FAULT IN OUR STARS IS HERE AND IT'S SIGNED! IN GREEN SHARPIE! AAAAAH!
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Me: I finished the book. *sheds tear* I don't know if I'm going to hug John Green or tear him limb from limb.
Me: Not kidding. I seriously have a strong urge to do both.
Me: We have one going... CRAP! It's my turn! *closes book and runs to Zoology Bay*
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Me: Ivi was talking about similar things.
Me: Because he deserves it. *starts to plot death scenarios underneath her breath*
Me: I hate today... have I mentioned that yet? I've never been more sleep deprived or upset in .... forever.... argh
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Me: Err.... I don't think you want to hear it.. it's really stupid.. but It's driving me crazy....I think...Never mind.. I'll just say it...
So...... Everyday we have lunch, all my friends have lunch together. I used to be apart of all the conversation going on, because I sat in the middle. No one ever asked me to move. Then, my friend Jess keeps asking me to move over, therfore I sit on the end. And I am excluded from ALL conversation except for a word or two from my friend Rachel. (She used to talk all the time but she got really sick and... yah i don't wanna talk about that.) However, when I sit in the middle now, no one talks to me except Rachel and Cynthia. I am excluded from other friend activities constantly. I hear them talking about me behind my back. I KNOW it goes on, but since I'm pretty much at the bottom of the pyramid, I can do nothing about it, because I wouldn't have anymore people to turn to.
In other crap, I've been so stressed out that I wake up every hour... Each night I only recieve a maximum of 4-5 hours of sleep. I almost fell asleep in class a couple times and then I spaz out constantly.. it's really bad right now.
Also, I didn't do too well on a Social Studies Quiz.... because I'm not very good at remembering the differences between people....AND I got home.. told mom about it... she screamed at me for about a half an hour... she said the f word..... about 3 times... She hit me several times.... my dad comes home and does nothing about it....
I went upstairs and cried for.. an hour.... and died inside.
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Me: That was so sweet it just made me cry even more. *hugs back* Thankyou very much... I don't know what I would do without you guys.. This is my only line of stability.... I guess I ought to tell you-There was one time where... I almost comitted suicide... but I stopped myself. I thought about what damage it would cause... what my friends here would do if I was- well, gone. I stopped right there. I consider it a blessing from God. He stopped me... and made a promise.
And I haven't broken it........
Later that week, my friend told me something that sticks with me constantly,"Suicide is one of the most selfish things a person could do." Her dad's friend comitted suicide on the 4th of July one year... he has never forgiven him.... and I promised I wouldn't let anyone down.
Me" G'night everybody... I may not be on.. for a little while.
Me: Good Night, dearest Kaylie. I'm praying for you, and keeping you in my thoughts. *hug*
Me: Aww, Kaylee... *hugs* I'm really sorry you're going through some tough stuff. :( And it's not stupid at all. If it's really bothering you, it's not stupid, it matters. I know what it feels like to be close to suicide, and you were really strong to be able to say 'no, I'm going to get through this'. It shows that you were able to think clearly enough to step away. Lots of people, when they get that low, aren't thinking clearly enough to see what their choice will do to others.As far as friends go, it can be really difficult to find someone who will stick by you. People change a lot in the pre-teen/teen years, some for the better, some not so much. It may be better for you to distance yourself from the girls that are talking about you behind your back and try to find someone else who will really be a friend. If there isn't anyone else you really want to become friends with in school/other activities you're in, you could confront them about it. Maybe ask them why they talk about you behind your back? I don't know... You could also try to distance yourself from the other girls and stay close to Rachel and Cynthia. A few good friends are better than many not-so-good friends.
The lack of sleep.... Insomnia totally sucks, I know. Even though I didn't have it very long, I remember how awful it was. One thing you could try is melatonin. It's a natural hormone that the brain creates. I don't know that much about it, but my mom had me taking it for a little while when my sleep schedule got all messed up. Anyway, you might ask one of your parents about it....
I hope things get better for you! It stinks that you have to go through all this tough stuff. :(
Me: I really, really, thank you guys. You have no idea how hard it is to wake up in the morning and to feel as if you are in a prison cell. I get up, go to schoo, sit through class and try to pay attention, sit down at lunch, no one talks to me, leave, go back to class, talk to Mr. Kelly, leave school, arrive home, get yelled at, play with kids, listen to conversations that make me really upset, do homework, attack goodreads, debate on ideas for what to say to the court for an issue we need to resolve, attack goodreads again, try to sleep, and replay the whole schedule. More days are worse than good. Sometimes I just sit and stare at walls. Which doesn't last long...because I get distrated easily.As for my parents, they don't care. I could walk around the house all weekend and they wouldn't notice a single thing. If they do notice, they don't care. That's what my mm said to my face last night.
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Me: It's okay. I'll get through it... just another rough bump.
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Me: ;/ I'll sing through the day. It'll make me concentrate. *goes off to listen to my friends' type of music* She made me a CD one year... gotta love the 80s
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Me: :( I'm really sorry, Kaylee. I really hope things get better.
Me: P-shaw. Don't worry about it. I'll be okay. I'll talk to Mr. Kelly on Tuesday.I really do? Wha-?
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Me: Oh, I get it. Sorry. A little spaced today. Trying to do everything and make...6 birthday cards is not easy.
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Me: XD Yes, lots of birthdays in my family today. None of them were planned to happpen that way, it just did.
Next Gen- Academy for heroes
Books mentioned in this topic
The Will of the Empress (other topics)Are You Ready to Play Outside? (other topics)
The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog! (other topics)
Shadowland (other topics)
Hetalia: Axis Powers, Vol. 1 (other topics)
More...
FYI: If you asked any of my classmates they'd tell you right off the bat that I am absolutely crazy.... as in insane