What Literary Character Would You Most Like To Slap?

[Melki]

Rusalka said "I still vote Emma as the literary character I would most like to slap."

That reminded me of a few that I'd like to smack around too.
Which characters would you like to take a whack at?

[Melki]

When our book club chose A Passage to India last year, I could not figure out why I kept putting off reading it. It finally reached the point where my teenage son had to remind me "Shouldn't you be reading your book, Mom?" - meaning - do your homework and stop procrastinating.

It finally occured to me one day, that I truly wanted to slap each and every one of the main characters.

Miss Quested had absolutely nothing to recommend her right from the start and did not grow more likeable as the novel progressed. A good slap might shake some life into her.

Mrs. Moore was okay at first, but then gets all swoony when she switches into her "I simply must leave this place" mode. Slap her, then administer smelling salts.

Dr. Aziz had my sympathies, until he uttered the line about not minding being accused of rape so much as being accused of attempting to rape "someone so unattractive". SLAP!

That leaves Cyril Fielding. I admired his attempts to defend Dr. Aziz, but then he just sort of runs out of gas and fizzles. I'll just roll my eyes at him, instead of a slap.

I'm still trying to figure out why this is considered by most to be Forster's greatest book.

[Michael, Mod Prometheus]

That's easy, I'd like to slap Holden Caulfield many many times

[Franky]

I had to chuckle when I saw the title of this thread.

That's quite ironic Melki. I'll be reading A Passage to India next. Thanks for the heads up.

I'll have to ponder this question more deeply.... :) I'm sure there are a ton.

[Emily]

I'm with you, Knowledge Lost. Hands down Holden Caulfield, repeatedly. Just the thought of him makes me uncharacteristically 'slap happy.'

[Franky]

Ah, c'mon. I kinda thought Holden was one cool dude.

[Graham]

Ignatius J. Reilly. I get the book, I enjoyed it, but I've never wanted a character to crash and burn so hard in my life. He reminded me of an obnoxious muppet I used to clash with at an old job way too much.

[V.]

I can think of a few, but I'll try and limit the number of candidates.

Most recently, I found the anti-love interest Mildred from W. Somerset Maugham's Of Human Bondage in need of a good shake. She's just awful and never improves. The protagonist was also wearing pretty thin on me while he was going through his infatuation with her as well (but at least he improved over time, Mildred was a mundane petty bitch true to the end).

Another strong contender is Bella Swan of Twilight infamy. Stupid, sorry, wet rag of a girl.

I'll second KL's nomination of Holden Caulfield. I've vented on this topic before on the The Catcher in the Rye discussion boards and found that people seem to have strong reactions- readers seem to either love or hate Holden.

Giraham--> re: A Confederacy of Dunces At first I was pretty irritated by Ignatius, but once I got into the mental space of reading the book as a farce, I just revelled in his bombastic absurdity. I think once I read that bit where he talks about throwing his class's unmarked papers out the window whilst shouting obscenities at his students (oh, how sometimes I have wished I could throw my marking out the window!) he won a secret (evil) place in my heart.

[Veljko]

Holden ranks pretty high on my list as well.

[Graham]

Victoria, yeah I knew the book was a farce, as you said, but Ignatius was just an ignorant dropkick, nothing redeemable about him at all. I was just laughing AT him the whole time, hoping the others would take him down a peg (or several thousand)

[Franky]

After some deep reflection, I think Romeo might make a good candidate. (Romeo and Juliet)

What do you think?

[Michael, Mod Prometheus]

Franky wrote: "After some deep reflection, I think Romeo might make a good candidate. (Romeo and Juliet)

What do you think?"

Because you had to watch Claire Danes die >.<

it's actually a good choice

[The Pirate Ghost]

Patrick Bowers! by Steven James

I mean, the guys a genious at catching serial killers, but he don't know shit about women. Dude, come on! You didn't see Amber coming? (when you need your 17 year old daughter to help you with your love live and your pushign 40, you really can't see the forest because all those trees are in the way!

[Kim]

Franky wrote: "After some deep reflection, I think Romeo might make a good candidate. (Romeo and Juliet)

What do you think?"

Why stop at just Romeo? Juliet needs one too. So do their parents. And Benvolio and Tybalt and probably everyone except Mercutio.

[Michael, Mod Prometheus]

Kim wrote: "Why stop at just Romeo? Juliet needs one too. So do their parents. And Benvolio and Tybalt and probably everyone except Mercutio."

So slap Shakespeare

[The Pirate Ghost]

Lets don't leave out Juliet while were at it.

[Kim]

Knowledge Lost wrote: "So slap Shakespeare"

He wrote the play but he didn't create the characters

[Minna]

I'd like to slap Harry Potter in book five, he treats Sirius so childishly.

I'd also slap Lisbeth Salander from Millennium, but I'm afraid that she would hit me back - several times and hard.

And last but not least: ALL the characters in Pretties.

[[deleted user]]

Thomas Covenant. Only more of an ass kicking and less a slap.

[Marlene]

Minna wrote: "I'd like to slap Harry Potter in book five, he treats Sirius so childishly.

I'd also slap Lisbeth Salander from Millennium, but I'm afraid that she would hit me back - several times and hard.

A..."

I´m with you on this one. Harry Potter and the Pretties-characters are in need of a good slap to clear their heads.
I mean, come on! Tally Youngblood is about the most self-centered character I ever encountered. (Okay, maybe not this much, but sometimes she gets REALLY annoying).

Good idea there!

[Barbara]

What about Odysseus? He just had to taunt the Cyclops when he should have kept his mouth shut!

Yes, Romeo, Juliet, Tybalt.....the whole lot of them.

[The Pirate Ghost]

And Hamlet... I mean... the guy deserves a slap for something.

[Kim]

Hmmm I have a character in mind but they're only literary in novelisations - Anakin Skywalker (and in reality George Lucas)

[Franky]

Barbara wrote: "What about Odysseus? He just had to taunt the Cyclops when he should have kept his mouth shut!

Yes, Romeo, Juliet, Tybalt.....the whole lot of them."

I can just see Odysseus' crew as he is leaving the Cyclops' island...."By the way, my name is Odysseus, and I live at....." (as his crew rolls their eyes with a look of "here we go again...he never learns...")

As far as R and J is concerned, maybe Mercutio said it best: "A plague on both of your houses!!!!"

[Franky]

Kim wrote: "Franky wrote: "After some deep reflection, I think Romeo might make a good candidate. (Romeo and Juliet)

What do you think?"

Why stop at just Romeo? Juliet needs one too. So do their parents. And..."

Exactly, Mercutio saw the light...others were a bit dense.

[Barbara]

Billy Budd .....I was forced to read the book in high school and have never forgotten the pain I endured. Also, Bartleby,the Scrivener for the same reason.

[Martena]

I agree about Emma. I would also like to slap Cecil from "A Room with a View." And Lucy from the same book, but for different reasons. Sometimes, I would love to tell a character, "Oh, grow up already!" But I suppose that's the sign of a great author to write weak characters so well.

[Lisa]

I just finished Freedom - Jonathan Franzen. I would love to slap the lead female character, Patty Berglund. The most pathetic,frustrating and narcissistic character that I have wasted time with this year...

[Franky]

Okay, so can we slap Owen Meany for speaking (or rather shouting) in CAPS all the time?

Just wondering.

[Danielle The Book Huntress]

I agree with wanting to slap Romeo and Juliet. Add Othello for being so gullible. I also agree with Emma. I put the book down because she got on my nerves.

Holden was immature and annoying. I didn't want to slap him, but I can how some people find him slappable.

I want to slap Victor Frankenstein...hard!

And the guy in The Stranger, and let's not forget Edna from The Awakening.

[Minna]

Lady Danielle "The Book Huntress" wrote: "I want to slap Victor Frankenstein...hard! "

Couldn't agree more, he was such a man-baby. Not many have deserved a slap (preferrably by monster-sized hands) more than this whiner.

[MountainAshleah]

My vote is for Edna Pontellier. "I have a husband who pays for everything, a young lover, kids, free time, my own painting studio [it's been years--my memory may be off]. . . I am so depressed let me kill myself."

[Franky]

MountainShelby wrote: "My vote is for Edna Pontellier. "I have a husband who pays for everything, a young lover, kids, free time, my own painting studio [it's been years--my memory may be off]. . . I am so depressed let ..."

I read The Awakening years ago. Edna did strike me as being selfish.

[Danielle The Book Huntress]

I think she was horribly selfish.

[Tim]

I'll see your 'Thomas Covenant' and raise you a 'Jude Fawley.'

[Ayesha]

Mr. Collins from Pride and Prejudice. I cannot stand him. I know he isn't a particularly vicious character, and there are parts where the author tried to draw sympathy for him but i just cannot, CANNOT stand him. How awful is that.

[Danielle The Book Huntress]

Not awful at all, Ayesha. Some people just work your nerves.

[[deleted user]]

Joffrey from "Game of Thrones." I HATE that guy! He gets his comeuppance, but it should have come a lot sooner!