The Doctor Rules!!!!!! discussion
Randomness
>
Telling Funny Jokes. (Or REALLY REALLY lame ones)
Ha ha ha.
What's brown and sticky?A stick
What is green and has six wheels?
Grass, I lied about the wheels
Waiter! Waiter! My coffee tastes like dirt!
Well, it was ground this morning
What's the tallest building in the world?
A library-it has the most stories
Ha ha! That's funny!
So there's 5 people in the Smith family; a mother, a father, a brother, a sister, and a toddler. The mother is folding laundry one day and hears someone say "Bloody finger, bloody finger..." The mother runs out of the house, screaming.
The father is watching a baseball game on television and here's someone saying "Bloody finger, bloody finger..." The father rushes out of the house in fear.
The sister is doing homework in her room when she hears "Bloody finger, bloody finger..." coming from her closet. She climbs out the window and jumps, joining her parents.
The brother is drawing when he hears "bloody finger, bloody finger..." from the vents and runs out of the house.
The toddler is in the nursery playing with toy trains. He sits in front of the closet door. From inside the closet he hears "Bloody finger, bloody finger..." The toddler opens the door and says "Dude, get a band aid!"
Thank you!
:) Ha ha. That's good.
I'm outta jokes right now.
Pathetic joke: Why did the cow cross the road?Annoyingly clever answer: It was the chicken's day off! *Cue fake laughter*
AHa aha AH ha ha ha *coughs and hacks*
Mod
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."
Oh my gosh, that's hilarious!!
What do you call a hippie's wife?-Mississippi (if you don't get it, say it out loud)
Ow. Oh, Ebony, that is BAD. *giggle*
Mod
Think I need to move this thread out of the "Archives".
Mod
Score! Mission accomplished: target no longer in an archive. ;p
Good job, Ebony! :D I guess it's my turn to share jokes now! Warning: they'll all probably be blonde jokes, because that's all I know. Other than my dirty jokes, but I don't think such tender young ears should hear them.What do you call four blondes at an intersection?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Eternity.
That's great! XDWhat do you get when a giraffe swallows a toy aircraft?
.
.
-a plane in the neck
Haha! :D You're really full of spectacular jokes, Ebony!So... a blonde and her brunette BFF are relaxing on a park bench in New York City, enjoying the night around them and watching the moon rise in the sky. The brunette suddenly pointed up at the moon and asked her blonde friend a question. "I wonder what is further - the moon or Florida?"
The blonde flipped her hair and huffed exasperatedly. "Well, duh. Can you see Florida?"
Mod
- An Interpreter.
Thanks! I'm a blonde so these jokes are reallllyyyy funny XD. I love blonde jokes so much! A blonde, brunette and a red head are stranded on an island 5 miles from shore. They decide to swim for the mainland. The brunette swims three miles and drowns, the red head swims four miles and drowns. The blonde swims four and a half miles, decides she's too tired to continue and swims back to the island.
I told the one about Florida and the moon to my cross country team and they loved it! :D
One day, five year old Tad was playing on his tricycle and as he was going down the street, he ran over a rock, fell, and hit his head on the cement. When he woke up he spoke perfect French. How come?
Why did the chicken cross the mobius strand?.
.
.
Do get to the same side. BAZINGA!
Here's one I thought of a while ago, prepare:Why did the ghost cross the road?
.......
To get to the other side!
Oh, that's sooooo funny! Not *whisper*. :-)
So this guy wants to take his girlfriend to prom, so he goes to the tux rental place, and there's a really long line, so he waits for a long time, but he finally gets his tux. Then he goes to the florist to get a corsage but there's a really long line. So he waits a real long long time but he finally gets the corsage. He picks up his girl and go prom. But there's a really long line for tickets. So they wait a long time and finally get their tickets. They finally get and start having a good time. The girl gets tired and asks for a drink. So the guy goes to the punch table and there's no punchline.
I really don't know any good jokes! Anybody have any good ones? :)
Mod
I get some from time to time from a friend via email, some of them however are not repeatable here, and some are really really really bad puns. Some of the bad puns are also not repeatable due to being soooooooooooo much of a pun (Think George Takei Facebook jokes and memes)
What did one complementary angle say to the other?Nice legs
Who invented the round table?
Sir Cumfrence
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
One day, a man walked into a pet store. He asked the manager, "do you have any parrots that aren't too noisy?" The manager said of course they did and showed him a brightly plumed parrot. The man bought the parrot and took him home. Much to his dismay, the parrot wasn't quiet at all! He cussed and yelled all day. Finally the man got fed up. He grabbed the parrot and stuffed him in the freezer! An hour later the man opened the freezer door and asked, "now are you going to behave?" The parrot replied, "you know, maybe we got off on the wrong foot here. I'll gladly be a quiet parrot if you want. I just have one question. What'd the chicken do?
Mod
That parrot joke reminds me of another parrot joke (OH NO Here we go!)
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tip-toed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"
"Yes", said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"
The parrot says, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."
That's so awesome! I didn't even see that one coming at all!
OMGosh! that was great! get ready for this one!An atheist scientist came to God and said, "We've figured out how to make a man without you."
God said, "OK, let me see you do it."
So the atheist bent down to the ground and scooped up a handful. But God stopped him and said, "Oh, no you don't. Get your own dirt!"
"(that kid is sharp)"
lol. just. l. o. l.