The Doctor Rules!!!!!! discussion
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Telling Funny Jokes. (Or REALLY REALLY lame ones)
message 51:
by
Emma
(new)
Oct 16, 2011 12:06AM

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OK here's one that has been around and if you use a few keywords in Google can find a few variations of it. I might change some minor details but the basic gist is still there.
A city tourist walking down the street turns a corner and sees a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover yelling "28, 28, 28..."
The tourist approaches the man and asks him "Why are you jumping up and down on that manhole cover yelling '28, 28, 28'?"
After some hesitation to consider if he should tell him the man replies "I can't tell you that (slight pause) but ah if you want you could go down there and find out." The tourist thinks for a minute starts to walk away but turns back and says "OK"
The man opens the manhole cover, the tourist climbs down into the manhole, the man quickly slams the manhole cover back down starts jumping up and down yelling "29, 29, 29..."
A city tourist walking down the street turns a corner and sees a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover yelling "28, 28, 28..."
The tourist approaches the man and asks him "Why are you jumping up and down on that manhole cover yelling '28, 28, 28'?"
After some hesitation to consider if he should tell him the man replies "I can't tell you that (slight pause) but ah if you want you could go down there and find out." The tourist thinks for a minute starts to walk away but turns back and says "OK"
The man opens the manhole cover, the tourist climbs down into the manhole, the man quickly slams the manhole cover back down starts jumping up and down yelling "29, 29, 29..."
Kaleigh~A Doctor Who InkWeaver wrote: "*laughs* I get it! That's funny. Why is he trapping all of those people?"
Who knows that doesn't really matter to the joke.
Who knows that doesn't really matter to the joke.
No problem. It doesn't bother me since I didn't think up of the joke. I first heard it many moons ago probably before many of the people in this group were born.

"nock nock"
"Who's there?"
"lettuce"
"lettuce who?"
" lettuce in it's freezing out here!"

"Nock Nock"
"who's there?"
"yodle-le-he"
"yodle-le-he-who?
"WOW! i didn't know you could yodle!"

The other version is:
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there"
"Little old lady"
"Little old lady who"
"I didn't know you could yodel!"

Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

"Trust me, I am the doctor!" has become my favorite quote ever but Dave totally owns this line and some of you may agree, "Sorry!". You can't really picture Matt Smith saying "Sorry" so many times it loses it's meaning.


"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"i'm the chicken"
"I'm the chicken who?"
"I'm the chicken who crossed the road!"

the man replies, "i lived in Kansas City. it's like this everyday there."
frustrated, the Devil turns up the heat, but the man still won't even sweat more than a trickle. the Devil has an idea, he turns the heat all the way down and everything froze over, even the Lake of Fire. but the man on the lake shore is jumping up and down wildly! the Devil goes back to the man and hears him yelling, "THE CHIEFS HAVE WON THE SUPERBOWL!!"
((you New Zealanders and Aussies might not get this one))


It's always sad when he says "sorry" :(
Love those lists of things kids have (supposedly) said to their teachers:
TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
Love this next one.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Oh and this one also:
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
(that kid is sharp)
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's... Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
Love this next one.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Oh and this one also:
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
(that kid is sharp)
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's... Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Andrew wrote: "so what am i supposed to do here. just read jokes or tell them too?"
If you got a joke share it, but like the rest of the forum keep it clean. :)
You can also comment on jokes you find funny, or jokes you think stink.
If you got a joke share it, but like the rest of the forum keep it clean. :)
You can also comment on jokes you find funny, or jokes you think stink.