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Philip Whiteland
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Meet the Authors > Philip Whiteland - the man behind Josiah and Archibald (which makes it sound like we're in a queue!)

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message 2701: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments "We? How many are you?" the first shepherd asked. He had been trying to work this out since their first encounter. Each time he looked, it seemed as if there were a different number of camels and riders. Sometimes more, sometimes less.
"Ah, that is indefinite" Balthazar said enigmatically
"Indefinite? What do you mean, 'indefinite'? You must know how many there are of you?"
"Not at all." Balthazar insisted, "It is not written in The Book, therefore, we are indefinite."
"Have you tried c…c…counting?" the second shepherd asked. The whole unsettling experience had brought back his childhood stutter.
"We can't" Balthazar said smugly "we think it's quantum"
From 'The King Thing' in A Christmas Cracker A collection of seasonal stories by Philip Whiteland


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Philip wrote: "Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "You might want to take tips from Grayson Perry, who was very charmingly dressed on the Graham Norton Show. I think his eyeshadow was a tad overdone though..."
..."


Grayson. Graham seems to have calmed down a bit.


message 2703: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Philip wrote: "Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "You might want to take tips from Grayson Perry, who was very charmingly dressed on the Graham Norton Show. I think his eyeshadow was a tad overd..."

Depends on your definition of 'calmed down' really


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Well these days he doesn't show videos of a girl playing the recorder with an unusual part of her anatomy...


message 2705: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Well these days he doesn't show videos of a girl playing the recorder with an unusual part of her anatomy..."

Good point, well made.


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Hmmm... I sometimes miss those days.


message 2707: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Hmmm... I sometimes miss those days."

I didn't even know you played the recorder ;-)


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments It's a tricky thing to get right!


message 2709: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "It's a tricky thing to get right!"

I can imagine. Well, actually, I'm trying not to, but...


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Better not to. Or you might need the brain bleach.


message 2711: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Better not to. Or you might need the brain bleach."

I'm not even going to attempt to say that out loud.


message 2712: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Do you get those Christmas 'Round Robin' newsletters in your Christmas Cards? I thought I'd imagine what they could be like...
"It all started brilliantly, with the Board of Roland’s company finally seeing sense and promoting him to CFO (whatever that is!) It was such a shame that all of that ‘insider’ dealing nonsense took some of the shine off his success, but, as I said to him, if you must deal at all I would rather you did it inside, where it's nice and warm! I think it's a testament to the Company, and to Roland, that they've agreed he should spend a lot more time with his family, pursuing other projects, as the Company announcement to the City put it."
You can find the rest in A Christmas Cracker A collection of seasonal stories by Philip Whiteland


message 2713: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments I don't usually do this but....


message 2714: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments if you're not ITCS by now, there's probably no hope for you, however...


message 2715: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments desperate times call for desperate measures, so...


message 2716: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments A Christmas Cracker A collection of seasonal stories by Philip Whiteland will be FREE for one day only, tomorrow!


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Read most of it on the plane yesterday, the rest on the train today. Very enjoyable.


message 2718: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Read most of it on the plane yesterday, the rest on the train today. Very enjoyable."

Oh great! Thanks very much :-)


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Thank you for removing the boring out of travelling:-)


message 2720: by Philip (last edited Dec 17, 2016 02:56PM) (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Thank you for removing the boring out of travelling:-)"

I do what I can ;-) The question is, are you more or less ITCS now?


message 2721: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth White | 1761 comments Did it for me. I recommend it for winding down after deccies are up, cards are done and no more forays into larger towns are needed. Goes really well with a cup of tea and a mince pie : )


message 2722: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Elizabeth wrote: "Did it for me. I recommend it for winding down after deccies are up, cards are done and no more forays into larger towns are needed. Goes really well with a cup of tea and a mince pie : )"

Thanks very much Elizabeth. I'm pleased you enjoyed it. I know it's a faff, but if you could leave a review (this would do nicely) then it would help enormously :-)


message 2723: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments You know that saying "You couldn't give it away"? Well, I'm beginning to feel like that. I haven't exactly been trampled in the rush, despite the fact that it's FREE today, for one day only! Grab your shortcut to getting In The Christmas Spirit: A Christmas Cracker: A collection of seasonal stories


message 2724: by Elizabeth (new)

Elizabeth White | 1761 comments Philip wrote: "Elizabeth wrote: "Did it for me. I recommend it for winding down after deccies are up, cards are done and no more forays into larger towns are needed. Goes really well with a cup of tea and a mince..."

I don't know if they'll appear in time for the free period, but I've put reviews on GR and Amazon. Hope they help!

Now re-entering the state of pre-xmas zen...


message 2725: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Elizabeth wrote: "Philip wrote: "Elizabeth wrote: "Did it for me. I recommend it for winding down after deccies are up, cards are done and no more forays into larger towns are needed. Goes really well with a cup of ..."

That's very kind of you, Elizabeth. I'm really very grateful. You've earned a nice cup of tea and a mince pie, at the very least :-)


message 2726: by T4bsF (Call me Flo) (new)

T4bsF (Call me Flo) (time4bedsaidflorence) Downloaded. ;-)


message 2727: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments T4bsF (Call me Flo) wrote: "Downloaded. ;-)"

Oh, well done, Flo. Hope you enjoy it!


message 2728: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Well, that made looking at the sales figures for 'A Christmas Cracker' marginally more interesting for 24 hours! My thanks to everyone who downloaded a free copy. I hope you enjoy reading it and, if you do, I hope you might find time to leave a brief review :-)

A Christmas Cracker A collection of seasonal stories by Philip Whiteland


message 2729: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments If you're going to try a book by someone you've never heard of, this Christmas (and I sincerely hope you will) can I humbly suggest you try this? You might just like it!

http://mybook.to/xmascracker


message 2730: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Merry Christmas!


message 2731: by Pat () (new)

Pat ()  | -245 comments Merry Christmas to you too Phil!


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Merry Fishmas Phil.




message 2734: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments And its been cherry-picked!

https://www.abctales.com/story/philwh...


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Oh well done!

That cherry is well and truly popped!


message 2736: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Oh well done!

That cherry is well and truly popped!"


It's doing even better now! It's made Story of the Week.


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments That's the cherry on top!


message 2738: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "That's the cherry on top!"

Pick of the Day and Story of the Week! What a way to end the year! So chuffed :-)


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments And so you should be :)


message 2740: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Me doing my 'grumpy old man' routine - well, it's that time of year isn't it?

http://philwhiteland.blogspot.co.uk/2...


message 2741: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Now on Goodreads, if you're nervous about leaving the site :-)

https://www.goodreads.com/author_blog...


message 2742: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Just been vacuuming after taking down the artificial Christmas Tree, because it sheds when you move it. You know, I'm sure there's something intrinsically wrong with that sentence ;-)


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments I had to read it 3 times, but I think it makes sense.


message 2744: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "I had to read it 3 times, but I think it makes sense."

It's an artificial tree - and it sheds!


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments So you're not putting the vacuum into the artificial shed because you dropped the tree.


message 2746: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "So you're not putting the vacuum into the artificial shed because you dropped the tree."

Yeah, that sounds about right :-)


message 2747: by M.D. (new)

M.D. Hall | 11 comments I thought it was the real ones that shed.
We don't bother putting it up now ... plenty of other decorations, mind you.


message 2748: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments M.D. wrote: "I thought it was the real ones that shed.
We don't bother putting it up now ... plenty of other decorations, mind you."


Me too! :-)


message 2749: by Philip (new)

Philip Whiteland | 3394 comments Sold one of the Christmas books the other day. Don't know if it's someone preparing for the next one or somebody who hasn't quite finished with the last one :-)

A Christmas Cracker A collection of seasonal stories by Philip Whiteland


Gingerlily - The Full Wild | 34228 comments Well at least it is within a month of christmas.


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